I had something else I was going to post today, and decided it just doesn't fit what I want to say.
What I really want to say is: don't make the same mistake I made yesterday.
See... I bought another book. I know, I know. I keep saying NO MORE BOOKS. But... this one promised to give me the answers I've been looking for... the missing puzzle piece. And it DOES have some great info. But...
I didn't realize I had fallen into that old mental trap of: this is IT. THIS will give me what I need to DO this. This will be THE answer.
Um... no. It can help, it can offer information, it can provide tweaks to my plan. But I have to stop falling into that old thinking of the "knight in shining armor" idea that would come along to rescue me and give me all the answers.
You'd THINK I would know better. You'd think! I didn't realize I had fallen into that thinking until my emotional meltdown last night. I had to ask myself what's going on?? What am I feeling and why??
I was disappointed. I was frustrated. I was mad. I had dared to get my hopes up and believe that maybe, just maybe this book had the answers it claimed, that would change my journey for the better. To get me going again. To get me past this stall.
I get sooo tired of trying to explain to the hard-core-troglodite-last-generation-nutritional-thinkers that it is NOT just calories in/calories out. That old tired "science" has been disproved so many times it is just plain tiresome to have to argue it yet again. There is simply more to it than that. And if you disagree, I respect your right to your opinion. But come back and talk to me when you hit 50. Nuff said.
Back to The Book. My last post I said I was doing some tweaking, making some changes to help me get going again. And this book promised to help with that. But I was wrong to think it had all the answers. The main thing it offered that might've helped me... I can't do because of high blood pressure. Sigh...
The other thing it demanded everyone must do... I am not willing to do. I am not in the mood to go into details, but for me it is just not sustainable, at least not in the authors extreme version. It would be like ME telling all of YOU that you MUST be just like ME, and eat low carb. And what if you were a vegetarian?? And I was insisting that the only way you'd ever be successful was to become a meat eater. Not gonna happen, right??
Last night, during my meltdown, I emailed a friend who I knew would be truthful with me, yet would understand. That kind of acceptance in itself was a big comfort. Oh may we all be blessed with those kinds of friends!!
Anyway, her feedback was a big help. Rarely are most things in life all or nothing, black and white. I need to take a deep breath and see what I CAN do, and let go of the things that I can't.
Did I wish for that magic bullet that would "fix" everything? Sure. Did I find it? Nope. So... I'll continue on, doing what I can. I'll try to be honest with myself, and see what I can tweak and where I can make improvements.
I am hopeful about being able to do pool exercises soon. My Sweetie is working on getting my little therapy pool installed. It's taking more time that we thought... digging a trench for electrical, trying to pin down the electrician for an estimate (no one seems eager for work around a holiday), gathering material to build the pool hut around it to keep in heat, designing and building a ramp... etc etc etc. He's been pecking away at it each morning before work--and before it gets hot. :-)
So, the journey continues. That's all we can do when we stumble and skin our knees, right? Last night I felt like saying "oh screw it all!!" But... I knew in my heart of hearts I wouldn't act on that. It was just how I felt. But what I will DO is... continue.
My book quote for today: "...there is no need to be perfect. After all, perfection doesn't really exist apart from God. All you have to do is concentrate on progress." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle
My verse for today: The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
My quote for today: "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..." --Dr Seuss
Enjoy the Journey,