Wednesday, April 15, 2020

APRIL 15TH CHANGE O DIRECTION IN MY LIFE



Buckle your seatbelts… change of direction coming.

From now on this blog Is just going to be about me today and where my last journey is taking me around A new corner. I can no longer type with both hands so I'm using a dictation app which is sort of goofy doesn't work weLL BUT BETTER THAN nothing please forgive typos and clunky formatting
If you would prefer ALL upbeat BETTER SCHOOCH ALONG there're a lot of others out there who are wonderful at that

But this is just my story :

I’m a left-handed artist who is now Learning to except complete loss of Left sidE. Yeah I'm still in the HEY THIS AINT FAIR PHASE. And my dear sister Karen SAID something to me the other day that really helped : she said it's okay to cry ITS OKAY TO CRY! And I said well that's good because I've been CRYING A LOT lately.

SO there you go the last gRAND adventure.

My heart is broken for so many people HURTING  around the world right now. PLEASE BE Aware now, THAT IF TALK OF GOD makeS YOU UN comfortable that's okay I understand BUT YOU ARE Still welcome here WITH open arms right now GOD is the only thing SOLID that I have to hold onTO.

GODs been so kind to me and Never rejected me but always been there for me NO MATTER HOW much I GOOF UP.

THIIS  is so hard on my sweetheart OF 43 years Jim. He is taking such good care of me AND DOES everything everything everyday LATE INTO MANY NITES. I am so blessed to Have been married to him all these years what a guy.

 A Couple of days ago HE WAS so tired, AND I said a prayer, God how can I love him betteR, he deserves better. And I was so surprised to instantly get a reply OH,I didn't hear a voice I'm not that crazy but I DID heAR an IDEA: I was reminded OF AN old hYMN CALLED Learning to lean…  the whole point OF THE IDEA IS TO LEARN TO  LEAN ON JESUS, NOT SO HARD ON MY JIM. IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE GOD WAS REALLY RIGHT THERE AS I SAID MY REQUEST , AND IT WAS SWEET THAT I GOT SUCH A FAST ANSWER 
Learning to lean

I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus

Learning to lean
Learning to lean
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Sad, broken-hearted, at an alter I knelt
I found peace that was so serene
And all that He asks is a child like trust
And a heart that is learning to lean
Learning to lean
Learning to lean
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Learning to lean
Learning to lean
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
I'm learning to lean on Jesus

Songwriters: Jeannie Vee Clattenburg



PLEASE, LORD LET ALL THE SCARED AND HURTING PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD KNOW THEY CAN LEAN INTO YOU, AND YOU WILL HOLD ALL O F US, ME TOO, AND FIND COMFORT AND HOPE.  

HUGS, 
RETTA

13 comments:

The Brown Recluse (TBR) said...

Well, it's NOT fair, and it's okay to acknowledge that. I admire your faith, and I pray that your relationship with Him deepens through this trial, and Jim's, too. You will both be on my prayer list (I really have one. There are been a lot of cancer diagnoses lately!) Our God is able, and He will walk with you like He always has.

Also, if you ever do hear His voice, you still won't be crazy. ☺ If He wants to speak to us in an audible voice, He certainly could! ♥♥

~Margaret

Retta said...

I always thought it would be really Something to hear an actual real voice. :)

Deb Willbefree said...

As I read this post, I felt your heart towards God & a song came to mind. It may not seem to fit, but it's what came to my mind so I'm sharing it. (If you remember, I'm good like that.)

I understand, just a little, of where you are right now. (Granted, very little) When my vision failed to the point that I could no longer read paper & print & could no longer see faces, those things that where the equivalent to your art were lost to me. I still, after all of these ears, I still grieve. Every time the the thought comes to do something that once brought me joy...and I can't...I feel the loss. So, I know that the loss you feel is great.

Know that I'm praying your ability to use your left side will be fully restored!

The other thing is, I had a cancer diagnosis in mid-2018. Colon cancer, Stage 3. Surgery and 6 months of chemo followed. God got me thru it with very mild symptoms from the chemo and was so merciful that the surgery didn't involve a colostomy bag, despite the stage.

While the CA experience I had is nothing to your brain tumor, I believe that just as God got me thru that, He will also show up for you. (I remember that you've had a CA diagnosis, too, so--you know how able God is in illness.)

I said all of that to explain that I really did hear your heart towards God in this. It's actually the part I understand-the tender, gratitude towards our God who loves us. the God that we know--no mater what--stays with His arms around us.

I'll pray daily. Been praying for you off and on all day today, as a matter of fact. Do keep us posted, if you can.

https://youtu.be/QPwd_TQpsHY (If this link doesn't open, I'll post it on your FB page.)

Retta said...

yes i can see you understand, Deb, i did n't know all you went thru, thank yopu or sharing that. I so appreciate the prayers. Found out today that our local place for pinpoint radiation is notup to Gold standard, and if have to do it near home (per the dr here)dr warned me they won;t be Precise and will have collateral damage to my brain. Must travel to other end of Oregon to Portland .Asking God how. Totally unable to walk or anything am ,in hoyer lift. asking God for directioins. No time to wait. thank u for prayrs truly

Deb Willbefree said...

Hi, Retta. I just saw your reply. I have been praying for you daily & will continue...adding the new problem with the where and how. Oh, dear. That sounds so overwhelming and frightening. I know that God is able, so you may have already found a solution. But, I'm praying!

Retta said...

thank u deb.. sad to say, too lte for treatment. too much going wrong now. grace, peace, he is being sweet and kind to me. don;t know long. My dear savior. I lov e him, nd he knows me by name. he ie my comfort

Deb Willbefree said...

Oh, Loretta, this breaks my heart. I'm still praying. Miracles still happen. I speak healing in Jesus' name!Oh, Lord Jesus, thank you for enabling my friend to feel Your presence and to trust Your heart towards her. I ask for mercy & complete restoration in Jesus' Name!

M Pax said...

It's not fair at all. I keep you in my prayers, Loretta. You've been a dear part of my life.

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