I've written about this before. How I was "willing" to make changes, but I also had boundaries. Things/favorites/foods/routines etc, that were off limits.
Whenever I got desperate enough to let go of something that was actually a hinderance to my progress... gee, guess what?? I'd make progress. You'd think I would figure out to let go easier and sooner, right?
During my weeks with Sean/Gerri/Kathleen's support group (it has no official name, so I never know what to call it) I realized I needed to once and for all let go of a LIFETIME habit: being a Night Owl.
I've given every justification in the book, and some even now sound legit to me: it's my biological clock; I enjoy doing my art then, it's quiet and peaceful; there are no interruptions; the phone never rings; the Husband is asleep and won't ask for this or that; it doesn't bother me to sleep in the light... etc etc etc.
Problem with all that is this: It. Kept. Me. Fat.
I would end up tired and/or hungry, and eat too much. Again. After all regular meals were already done. Over and over I would try to come up with a solution to that. A compromise.
Now I accept and embrace this truth:
There can be NO COMPROMISE
with anything that is destroying my health.
It's that simple. Some things can be adjusted, changed a little, tweaked.
Not this, not for me.
This is one of those things in life that truly is all or nothing.
And I accept that.
I surrender to that.
I embrace my new identity as "a Morning Person."
(okay, that last one was said with an eyeroll and cringe, I'll admit!)
When I started with this support group back in March, I committed to going to bed each night at 11pm.
This I can control.
I don't control how well I sleep, so I allowed that I can sleep in if needed. But I CHOOSE to go to bed at 11:00. I might tweak that later, but for now, that's my rule.
For all you Early Birds shrugging and thinking "So what's the big deal???"... this is a Big Deal to a lifelong Night Owl. A huge shift in body rhythms, timing, scheduling, thinking patterns. I'm surprised at all it seems to affect.
But I am willing.
The result: for these last few months, though it does not feel "natural" yet, is that I have not binge eaten ONCE at night.
If you don't struggle with night time overeating, then you don't realize how significant a change this is. It's a big deal to me.
And I am extremely grateful for this breakthrough. More than I can get across here...
"You cannot rely on your feelings... you can act your way into feeling long before you can feel your way into action. If you wait until you feel like doing something, you will likely never accomplish it." --John C. Maxwell, How Successful People Think
"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way." --II Thess 3:16, Bible
Today I am feeling Hopeful.