Sunday, July 14, 2013

JULY 14th Where's That Delete Button?!!

If I went with how I'm feeling right about now, I'd delete about 85% of my past posts!!! 


Because of pride. 

I wrote what I was thinking about at the time, but after just reading a fantastic post  by Marion at Affection for Fitness, I think I'd be embarrassed to go back and re-read them now. In fact, I just noticed one of my tags says "victim mentality". Aargh... I am NOT going to go back and re-read them!

It all started with a comment Marion wrote on another of her posts. I asked her about it, since I didn't really understand her thinking. 

That comment was: 

"Overeating is a clear sign 
of acting victimized."


Which, of course, made my pride bristle, since I never thought of myself as a victim! But I really DO want to be teachable, so asked her to explain. And Marion, being the caring person she is, DID!

I'm not going to recap her whole post here. It was just too good, and would not do it justice. But I will give you the main topics: 

  • What is a victim?
  • Do you think you are a victim?
  • Are you BEHAVING like a victim, even when you don't THINK you are one?
  • The negatives to living with a victim mentality
  • How NOT to think like a victim
  • The ultimate benefits of ditching the victim mentality
ha... even my bullet points kinda fall short.

Really, truly, honestly... if you are at all still struggling to get this weight thing totally figured out, please consider budgeting the time to go and read Marions post. I most definitely think it could be a huge piece of the puzzle for many of us. 

There is gold there!!



MargieAnne said...

Do you see your signature? Enjoy the journey.

Every word you have written is part of your journey of life and therefore valid and precious.

I hope you've had time to reflect and see there is value even when you want to cringe.

Forget pride. We all wish we could have written something better, we all want to express ourselves more clearly and none of us really wants to expose ourselves. It's like undressing in public. The truth is you cannot write a decent or honest Blog/Journal and consistently disguise who you are. The choice to blog always carries a serious risk of indecent exposure. You just cannot go back and expunge your history. Of course you can delete and prevent others from reading but not before you've asked a couple of pertinent questions.

1. Why did you choose to Blog/Journal in a public place?

2. If you delete much of what you've written how valid is the whole of your blog?

3. What gain is there in deleting various posts?

4. Will you regret deleting those posts in time to come when you want to look back over your whole journey?

Thank-goodness you haven't deleted anything and I am going to have a good look at the Blog you mention above.

I am not a victim .... life happens .... Oh Yeah! written tongue in cheek.

That sounds just like my reaction to a friend kindly telling me my weight hung over me like a handicap.

I'm not happy when someone reminds me my attitudes stink and they are far from healthy.

We're in this together and have many witnesses.

Stay strong and if you cannot enjoy the journey at least appreciate it is worthwhile.

My that's far too much preaching from me and let's just say I was alarmed at the thought you might carry out your desire to delete because I have found every post I have read a delight and a help.


Thanks for taking the time to post your reaction and the link. Now I too can face the challenge.

Rettakat said...

Loved what you wrote here, and your heart, MargieAnne. I appreciate it.

And yeah, I quickly came to the same conclusion. I am who I am, warts and all. My past posts are simply reflective of where I was at the time... so be it.

I hope you enjoy her post... I'm still chewing on it. It's definitely meat, and some was tough to swallow. I just hadn't thought of it from that perspective, so am finding it helpful. Well, that's whatcha get for praying for help... eye opening answers! :-D

Linda H said...

Hi Loretta,
I have only just started following you and your blog and one of the things that I noticed right away is your kindness. What I also know (from experience) is that we are so unkind to ourselves so much of the time. You my dear, are awesome!! Well, of course, I know (or have a very strong feeling) that Marion agrees. :D

From what I have read of your posts (yes I went back away's) is that you do not fall short! In other words, I agree 100% with what MargieAnne has said. I always want to re-write my posts a lot of time because I think I am boring, heck, sometimes I wanted to re-write my whole life! But then I think anything I may say (even I don't think it is exciting) may help someone else. And it validates how I am feeling at the time.

I will I know, in my future I will over-eat at one time or another and I surely overate in my past. But as MargieAnne said, we are in this together!

Marion Shaw said...

Hi Loretta! Thanks so much for believing in me. I appreciate it *so much.* And I believe in you too. :D

I agree with Linda and MargieAnne about keeping all posts as they are. Yesterday, I was reading one of my posts from a past year when I said I had to start from scratch and figure all of my eating out. Just really think it through and get it right.--which is exactly what you're saying.

We live in a Charles Dickens novel. How were we to know in an earlier chapter what was going to happen to us as characters in this chapter? It's wonderful that you are so receptive to growth. And the difference in your evolving beliefs reflects that growth.

:-) Marion

Rettakat said...

Thank you, Linda, for such a "hug" of a comment. I really appreciate it.
I really liked what you said: "And it validates how I am feeling at the time."
You are right in that, and I suppose that's one of the reasons I decided to let my past post stay. That WAS me, then, at that time. I'm just like everyone else... we just go along doing the best we know how. And like Maya Angelou said, then when we know better, we do better. :-}

I read your "About Me" story at your blog, and wow, you have been through some difficult things. I was touched by how you are turning it around, and what you said about having so many people to live for now. I'm so glad to "meet" you!

Rettakat said...

Thank you, Marion, for all your generosity. I know it takes more time than most think, to write out your kind of in-depth post. I truly appreciate that.

And I LOVE that description: living in a Charles Dickens novel, not knowing how the chapters are going to unfold. Love that!

Carla Birnberg said...

Id never conceptualized it like that before either.

Rettakat said...

Me neither, Carla, me neither! :-)

Jules Joyce said...

Oh...must go read....I have actually believed that statement for so weight, my binge eating all of inner victim on power mode...rebellion against my infant confidence mode......but as a "victim" I thought it was crazy thinking...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm off to read

Rettakat said...

I hope you like what Marion shared, Jules. It sure gave me a lot to think about!

Christine said...

This was very good! I sent the link to a good friend.

Rettakat said...

I hope it blesses her!

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Hi Loretta- It is good to see the comments back in action! It seems that you have much to share and it is nice to be part of the interaction. It's always helpful to share whatever positive things that we can.
I know you don't do them, but I have passed an award along to you.

Rettakat said...

Thank you, Jasmine, for thinking of me about the award.

And I do usually enjoy the interaction, too. I think I just got a little frustrated with those few who feel the need to nitpick and argue and fault find. What Margaret at The Brown Recluse said here resonated with me: "Some people also feel compelled to be sure that you agree with them precisely; general agreement is not enough!". I have no problem with others believing differently than me... but I would hope for the same respect. Oh well, methinks I need to grow a tougher hide! ;-)

Oh, here's the link to Margaret's post, just to give credit where credit is due:

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