Monday, June 18, 2012

JUNE 18th No! No! No!


I've been thoroughly enjoying my recent "good times", when all of lifes dramas seemed to have calmed, and things were going smoother. 

It was nice while it lasted... but now, the drama is back. Sigh... Lesson: enjoy and appreciate the good times while they last! 

Life seems like the tides... events come and go, up and down, good and bad, in and out... low tide, high tide. 



It's funny... I had JUST been reading about joy. How true joy is not dependent upon circumstances. It comes from within, from our relationship with our God, from the eternal not the temporal.

Uh huh... I should have KNOWN there would be a pop quiz. :-}

Anyway, lots of disappointing stuff going on, and big hits to the budget. Big hits to plans I had (past tense) to get stuff done while Hubby and The Barker were SUPPOSED to be off camping. 

And big hits to my "optimism". I had been doing so well on this journey to get healthier, having finally seemed to turn a corner not that long ago. 

Recently a tool I use died... The Scale. No biggee, I'll just get a new battery, right? By the time I got said battery and installed it, and did the Monday weigh-in ritual,

I was S.T.U.N.N.E.D - A.G.H.A.S.T - H.O.R.R.I.F.I.E.D!!!!

I just don't get it. I know I haven't been counting calories for awhile until just recently, but come on... no way! My newly batterized scale says that since May 1st, I have GAINED 27 pounds!!!! Two Seven. Twenty-seven. 

I'm having a hard time believing that. I double and triple checked, and it's the same each time. 



I can't begin to describe the crushing disappointment... how deflating, discouraging, frustrating and even angering that is. 

Please, do NOT post a comment telling me not to let "the scale" dictate my mood, etc etc. The scale is a tool, and I  get sick to death of people whining about how mean "it" is to them. It is simply a tool I totally appreciate having. Without it, I would not know I was on this wrong trend!!! 

I just didn't know. I can't tell from my clothes at my size. I can't tell by how I "feel", since I always feel "heavy" and have pain in my joints. So the scale is a helpful tool to give me some indication of how my plan is working... or NOT working, as the case may be.

My upset is not in the scale's reading. It is in ME. In my apparent obliviousness to how I've really been doing. I truly thought I was making progress, doing better than this. Uh... can we say REALITY CHECK??

So... now what?

I don't believe in coincidence, so I have to take note of the post I read just this morning from Coach Dayne at Coach Your Mind (HERE). 

Bottomline, there is no point in dragging out my crummy feelings about this crummy news. I saw it, I processed it, I felt it. And boy howdy, did I feel it!

In my past, I most likely would have wallowed in it for a while before moving past it. But really, there's just no point in doing that. 

So, time to move right into the DOING phase. 

Time to just get on with it, to do what I know to do. I'll count the dang calories, I'll move more, I'll just never quit. I don't know what else to do... but to just keep on, and trust that the hard work will pay off. 

I admit, I'm hoping against hope that part of this is water retention.  
:-}




My book quote for today: "...Behind everything you do is a thought, and each individual thought contributes to your overall character... No area of your life is untouched by your thoughts." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "The Lord hears the needy..."

My quote for today: "You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings!" --Pear S Buck

Enjoy the Journey, and if you're not then at least don't quit!

Loretta
=^..^=

DAY 1030

13 comments:

Deb Willbefree said...

Oh, man, Loretta! :O

Maybe when you were jiggling the scale around to install the battery, you moved something on it. Have you weighed a sack of dog food or a bowlng ball to make sure the scale is accurate? The heavier the known weight, the better.

Do you know what Jim weighs? If you do, make him get on the scale.

I don't think you gained 27 pounds. I think it's the scale! I do.

If you've checked it's accuracy with a weight and it'weighed correctly, well then--->Oh man, Loretta! :O That's just cruel news!

I know, since I just gained 6 pounds in 4 days. sigh. We can gain some weight, can't we? I think we both need a cabin in the woods. sighh.

Okay. This is good. :D We both have messed up (if it's not your scale) and we are both determined to get this weight off. So, we'll both hit it hard, back to the bare bones of what we know we are to do, and power on with prayer activated and hands held by the One who knows how to get us where we need to be. :D

We're doing this thing.

Deb the Determined

E. Jane said...

Hi Loretta,

I can feel your disappointment with the scale, and I wonder if it's really correct. Somehow I doubt it. So sorry about the other difficulties too--financial hits take a toll. Bless you, and take care of yourself.

affectionforfitness said...

Loretta, I would check another scale to see if it was correct. And both say the same thing, well, you're not the first person that's happened to. I gained 18 pounds in 2010. That seemed so unfair, but I dealt with it. Calorie counting is a super great plan. Yes, my TOPS meetings there are people who fluctuate up to 10 pounds of water weight.

:-) Marion

Niecy said...

So sorry you are feeling down, Loretta. I agree with the others - check that scale. I really think that you would feel a 27 pound weight gain, especially since you have been so focused on getting healthy.

That being said, begin again and do not let it stop you. I know how frustrating it is to lack motivation or get distracted and then have to pay for it, but the real tragedy is quitting and letting it get worse.

This is not an easy thing, but you are successful. You have had a little setback, but have learned so much. Use what you know.

M Pax said...

Maybe the scale has a glitch.

Either way, hugs to you. Frustration is a pop quiz. Huh? You can do this and get to where you want to be. You can. It's a bump on the road. That's all. It's not an insurmountable mountain. Just a bump.

Recently, I felt like I was gaining a little, too. Nothing like that to kick the old motivation into gear.

Find the positives and cling to them. You're in a better place mentally and emotionally. You are practicing healthier habits. All great accomplishments. They may seem empty some days, but they're really not. They're essential foundations for getting farther down the road you're on.

Rettakat said...

I did like Deb suggested, and weighed a huge sack of cat food. Unfortunately, it would appear to be correct. :-(
But thank you for your kind words.

Rettakat said...

Yes, I can fluctuate a LOT from water... but never this much. :-O
Like you said, Marion, I'll just deal with it. :-}

Rettakat said...

Thanks Niecy, I appreciate your words.

Rettakat said...

I'll do that Mary... think of it as a bump in the road. It may be a teeth-rattling, bone-jarring bump... but it's just a bump. I'll keep repeating that til it sinks in. :-}

The Brown Recluse said...

Miss Loretta! I'm sorry you've been having to deal with drama. No one likes that...but you always seem to have such a good attitude.

I can imagine seeing 27 pounds on the scare would be pretty devastating...however, I find it hard to believe you gained that much. I wonder if your previous battery had weakened so that it wasn't weighing you properly before it finally died? I'm assuming you have calibrated or somehow checked the new battery/scale for accuracy? If not, give that a shot, as well.

If indeed the weight is accurate, it's going to be ok. You'll bounce right back into your routine, I know you will. I'm gonna do my best to bounce with you. You won't give up...you've proved that over and over...and I thank you for posting the ups and the downs.

Rettakat said...

Actually, that's what my hubby suggested, that the old weak battery was the one that was inaccurate. Sigh... so this is my new reality, and I just need to accept it and move on. We weighed a 20 lb sack on it, and it's now accurate. I'll admit, I was sure hoping it was off. :-}

But I've started counting the calories EVERY day now, and sending the totals to a friend. And am working to make a way to safely exercise. So... I'm back on my way. Thank you for your kind words, Margaret, I appreciate that.

Diana said...

I feel your pain on the weight thing. I've gained almost 50 pounds in six months. I finally woke up to the reality of it a few days ago. I'm doing the same thing, facing up to it, moving on, counting calories. I will say that it hurts like hell. Mentally and physically. I thought I wasn't doing that bad either, boy was I wrong!

Hang in there Loretta. I know you will. You have the best attitude of anyone I know. You can overcome anything.

Rettakat said...

I'm sorry you've been going thru a hard time, Diana. But it sounds like you are at a turning point, and facing your own reality and doing something about it. I joined Deb's informal SOS campaign (Summer of Success) at Satisfied With Good Things. It's not a challenge... just like-minded people who have decided to make the most out of the Summer. To encourage one another and offer support and some "group synergy". :-)
Time for some success!

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