I've been thoroughly enjoying my recent "good times", when all of lifes dramas seemed to have calmed, and things were going smoother.
It was nice while it lasted... but now, the drama is back. Sigh... Lesson: enjoy and appreciate the good times while they last!
Life seems like the tides... events come and go, up and down, good and bad, in and out... low tide, high tide.
It's funny... I had JUST been reading about joy. How true joy is not dependent upon circumstances. It comes from within, from our relationship with our God, from the eternal not the temporal.
Uh huh... I should have KNOWN there would be a pop quiz. :-}
Anyway, lots of disappointing stuff going on, and big hits to the budget. Big hits to plans I had (past tense) to get stuff done while Hubby and The Barker were SUPPOSED to be off camping.
And big hits to my "optimism". I had been doing so well on this journey to get healthier, having finally seemed to turn a corner not that long ago.
Recently a tool I use died... The Scale. No biggee, I'll just get a new battery, right? By the time I got said battery and installed it, and did the Monday weigh-in ritual,
I was S.T.U.N.N.E.D - A.G.H.A.S.T - H.O.R.R.I.F.I.E.D!!!!
I just don't get it. I know I haven't been counting calories for awhile until just recently, but come on... no way! My newly batterized scale says that since May 1st, I have GAINED 27 pounds!!!! Two Seven. Twenty-seven.
I'm having a hard time believing that. I double and triple checked, and it's the same each time.
I can't begin to describe the crushing disappointment... how deflating, discouraging, frustrating and even angering that is.
Please, do NOT post a comment telling me not to let "the scale" dictate my mood, etc etc. The scale is a tool, and I get sick to death of people whining about how mean "it" is to them. It is simply a tool I totally appreciate having. Without it, I would not know I was on this wrong trend!!!
I just didn't know. I can't tell from my clothes at my size. I can't tell by how I "feel", since I always feel "heavy" and have pain in my joints. So the scale is a helpful tool to give me some indication of how my plan is working... or NOT working, as the case may be.
My upset is not in the scale's reading. It is in ME. In my apparent obliviousness to how I've really been doing. I truly thought I was making progress, doing better than this. Uh... can we say REALITY CHECK??
So... now what?
I don't believe in coincidence, so I have to take note of the post I read just this morning from Coach Dayne at Coach Your Mind (HERE).
Bottomline, there is no point in dragging out my crummy feelings about this crummy news. I saw it, I processed it, I felt it. And boy howdy, did I feel it!
In my past, I most likely would have wallowed in it for a while before moving past it. But really, there's just no point in doing that.
So, time to move right into the DOING phase.
Time to just get on with it, to do what I know to do. I'll count the dang calories, I'll move more, I'll just never quit. I don't know what else to do... but to just keep on, and trust that the hard work will pay off.
I admit, I'm hoping against hope that part of this is water retention.
My book quote for today: "...Behind everything you do is a thought, and each individual thought contributes to your overall character... No area of your life is untouched by your thoughts." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle
My verse for today: "The Lord hears the needy..."
My quote for today: "You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings!" --Pear S Buck
Enjoy the Journey, and if you're not then at least don't quit!