Hi Journal & Friends,
There are so many things that I am trying to learn on this journey. From the beginning I decided to NOT try to take them on all at once. Rather, one or two at a time, then add as I go.
When I take too many on at once, I don't seem to do well at anything. Then I feel as though I am juggling too many balls in the air, and end up dropping them all.
For the last 14 months, I've been getting used to life without sugar or flour. I also worked on learning portion control, and eventually found that--for me--the best method was simple calorie counting.
I have FINALLY reigned in the portions. No, I haven't done it "intuitively", but by the artificial method of tracking calories. But for me, it worked. It's a place to start.
But... this method has it's downside, too. Yes, it's helped me reign in portions, something I've tried to do for YEARS. I didn't succeed until I was willing to set a calorie cap and abide by it. But I still haven't mastered other areas.
Here are some of the things I still want to improve, that have to do with my eating plan:
1. More veggies and fruits
2. More water
3. Less processed stuff
4. Less Splenda
5. Less treats
6. Calories more evenly spaced thru the day
I finally feel ready to throw a couple of more "balls" in the air. There is the Ideal, then there is Reality. My reality is, if I'm honest with myself, that I still have a lot that needs improving!
The last one on that list, #6, is a biggee for me. Several times I have ended up with barely any calories left for the evening, and it totally messed with my head. It's not the physical hunger. I've fasted for days in the past... I can survive that just fine.
It's the mental/emotional havoc it wreaks. All my life, overeating at night has been my Achilles heel. It's something that ruined my progress every single time on previous attempts. The only way I have been able to stay within my calorie budget this time was to make sure I allowed enough calories to cover the evening meal plus a snack later. But to do that causes the daytime allotment to be mighty scimpy.
It's a catch 22 for me. And I'll admit, it kinda scares me. I don't want to put myself in a position again that might push me over the edge in the evening and open the door to nighttime bingeing. Yet, I need to get my calories more balanced throughout the day.
This is a learning process. And I still have a lot to learn! I'm ready to add
a couple more balls in the air, but right now the "Calories more evenly spaced thru the day" ball feels as heavy as a bowling ball! I guess it will have to wait til I make more progress on this journey.
The first 5 items on my list don't seem so daunting compared to that last one! Those, I am consciously working on. When I feel more stable and ready, I'll tackle number six.
I'll get there eventually. I'm not obsessing or stressing over it... but I am determined to make it.
From Dr Phil's book: "Your food plan sustains your commitment in the absence of emotional energy."
My verse for today: "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love."
My quote for today: "The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." --Chinese proverb
Enjoy the Journey,