Sept 16th... Wild Ride and Doing Great

A quick update to let the world know I'm still alive n kicking.












The surgery went just fine.
Was a wild ride for awhile, but I'm doing very well now.








I recently realized how close I am to cracking the "lost 200 lbs" mark, and I'm starting to get excited about that. I'm sitting at 271 right now, having started at 460. So only 11 more pounds to go for a fun number to achieve! Still mostly doing the ketogenic diet. Trying to move more, now that I don't have as much to haul around, ha ha.

It's been hard. And I still goof up now and then. But overall, things are going in the right direction. I'm so very thankful.

Still on the Journey,

Retta

=^..^=

Mar 22nd...One In A Million, Again!

Sometimes I think I need to go back and re-read my own posts! Like... a sentence from this post: 

In our own lives, this means "choosing to live your life intentionally and acting with purpose rather than mindlessly falling victim to whatever comes your way."

I just realized this morning that I have been doing exactly what that line says  NOT to do. Sheesh. It feels as though every time I get some traction going in this weight loss/health thing, along comes something to kick me to the curb.

How does that sound to my own ears?? Whine whine whine, excuse excuse excuse, victim victim victim.

Yet, sometimes we don't hear ourselves! A little while ago I was on the phone talking to my sweet, empathic Sister. She said something that really stopped me, and helped me very much. She said it sounded like I was allowing excuses to stop me from making progress. Ouch! But she was right. I just hadn't been listening to what I was saying. I really appreciated that truthful reminder said in love.

So, I'm going back to basics... again. And what was the first line that I read???!! This sentence from Dr Marty Lerners free booklet:

"I would encourage anyone with an eating disorder, 

or any addiction for that matter, to measure progress 

in terms of how one is doing rather than how one 

may be feeling at a given time."

Wow, how could I have forgotten that?!

Doing? Lousy. Inconsistent. Poor choices.

Feeling? Frustrated. Discouraged. Angry.

Why? I looked at circumstances, and fell victim "to whatever comes your way", as it said above.

My title for this blog post came from something a doctor told me years ago right before a medical procedure. "Oh, it's safe. It's one in a million that anything ever goes wrong."

Uh huh. That day I was that one in a million.

Back to present day. Went in for what was to be my LAST dental surgery. I was so excited to be at the end of a long process. And so what happened??

Again, I was that one in a million. Aaarrrgghhh!

They sliced open the upper gum and peeled it back to work on my brand new shiny implants, to get ready for my permanent dentures. Part of the work involved placing a tiny "torque test" tool inside the implant, to test how strongly it was bonded to the bone. I've had this little test done many times before. No biggee.

Except, this time it was a biggee. The tiny tool broke off INSIDE my implant!!!! It felt like they were pick-axing to China as they desperately tried to get it out. No go... wouldn't budge.

So they sewed me back up with the broken part still inside me!! That was last week. No teeth, no dentures, no chewing. Waiting for the manufacturer to send a special "retrieval" tool, and then I get to go back and repeat the whole surgery all over again.

I'm not mad at the dental surgeon at all. He's very skilled, and has been great these last couple of years. And he's refusing to even charge me for this go around (and he told me that BEFORE the fiasco). 

It's just these thoughts of... "Come on, now what??!!!" And "I can't believe this happened to me!"

And so I pouted and ate and complained and allowed stinkin' thinkin' to make me discouraged. Funny thing is... I had forgotten that when I can't chew anything, and it's all mushy or liquid, I don't seem to ever feel satisfied. Never full. Never satiated. Always want MORE. So I ate more. Now I weigh more. Sigh....

My action plan?? Back to basics. No huge changes, other than my thinking. Just DOING what I should be doing.

SERF

S = spirituality

E = exercise

R = rest

F = food plan

Plain. Simple. Doable. I dunno... there is something comforting in a simple plan. So that's what I'm DOING now. 

And the cancer surgery?? Still waiting. It's actually taken, literally, months to get appointments with the various specialists I've been told to see. Ooh la la, they are so elite and elusive. 

In the meantime... I'm off to go SERFing. :-}

Still on the Journey,

Retta

Dec 22nd Ending the Year with Hope & Peace

So many changes, so much to feel thankful about. 

Very busy, like everyone else. :-)

I'm feeling encouraged and hopeful. Lots to think about, lots to learn, lots to do.

Do.

That's the key. Consistently do.

I'm still working on my SERF practices. That stands for Spiritual, Exercise, Rest, and Food Plan. Simple, yes, but easy for me to remember.

In case anyone missed it, I wanted to offer a Christmas present to ya'll: 

a free e-book from Dr Marty Lerner (link below). 

It's the one that I feel God used to show me some pieces to the puzzle that I had been missing. It's not just a bunch of theory. Anyone on this journey to health very long has had it up to HERE with theory, yes?!

It's action oriented. Short. Practical. Sure... work on the Whys all you want. But in the meantime, DO. That's the book in a nutshell. In fact, in his 30-ish years of running an addiction clinic (Milestones in Recovery), Dr Lerner has been convinced that until we get our behinds fully into DO mode, we will be side-tracked and stuck forever in the WHY mode. That we will have the cart before the horse. 

So his solution: DO. Then once rolling in the right direction, we can work on the other stuff.

Highly recommended. Here is the link to the free ebook, no strings attached. 

Merry Christmas!

My book quote for today: "You make a daily choice in how the rest of your life goes, and it can be great. The rules are straightforward: exercise hard and you will grow younger. Care about other people and you will grow happier. Build a life that you think means something and you will grow richer." --Crowley and Lodge, Younger Next Year for Women

My verse for today: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

My quote for today:"Be like the bird who, pausing in her flight on limb too slight, feel it give way beneath her, yet sings, knowing she hath wings." --Victor Hugo

Retta

=^..^=

Nov 6th Gratitude, Service & Surgery

Still studying the book from Dr Marty Lerner I talked about in this post. 

It's short, more of a booklet. But packed with years of experience and wisdom. I've been stuck on this sentence in Chapter 3:

"The true nature of the problem, especially with respect to addictions has to do with almost total self-absorption and self-consciousness."

And: "...most of our struggles have to do with repetitive and obsessive self-centered thoughts".

I used to call it navel watching... remembering the old cartoon of the guy sitting and staring at his own belly button. And I've actually wondered at times if continuing long term with my blog was navel watching! Or, as Dr Lerner more eloquently puts it: self-absorption and self-consciousness.

Four statues of satyrs in the Louvre, depicting omphaloskepsis - navel gazing -  as an aid to meditation

I mean... I know all the "how it got started in my life" stuff. I've made peace with it. It's not about blame. Rather, it's about understanding. 

I've found a way of eating that is healthy and I can do for life: low carb, sugar free.

Now I am left with just one thing, according to Dr Lerner: DO IT. Do the next right thing. Focus on recovery, not weight loss. And the weight loss will follow as I DO the right things. What's left to talk about??

Shortly after I read this page in Dr Lerner's book about all this self-absorption, I read a blog post from Sean Anderson. In passing at the end, he mentioned Gratitude and Service. And those words lit up in neon for me! 

Gratitude and Service. I had used this phrase for years as a reminder: Love God, love others. It's truth, yet somehow it seemed a little bit lofty or esoteric. But if you put feet to it, action to it... it turns into Gratitude and Service!

Now it's no longer just "I am grateful to God for....". Me, me, me. I, I, I.... Yes, I am totally grateful, and want to be aware and express that gratitude. But now it doesn't stop with ME. As in that self-absorption and self-centered thoughts. (Now please don't go and misinterpret that; having a gratitude journal is life changing, and highly recommended!!!! I'm talking about MY hang-ups here).

But for me, now adding Service to the equation takes my thoughts beyond myself, and the arrows are not stuck constantly INWARD. I want to learn to get them to aim OUTward. I can ask myself how I can be of Service? Is there a gift I have been given that can be used as a blessing to others? To be of Service?

The day before all these thoughts hit me, I read something about Benjamin Franklin. He began each day with this question: "What good shall I do this day?" 

And he ended the day with "What good have I done this day?" He obviously had a heart to be of Service.

So... that's what I have been studying. That's where my journey is taking me. Some of it can feel uncomfortable. But I feel good about the direction.

Still on the journey,

Retta

A Big PS: I didn't want to make a huge post about medical stuff, making it into a big deal. But thought it would not be very courteous to just disappear without explanation. I'm not God. I can't predict the future, or when it's my turn to die and go to Heaven. But I was recently diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer. It's still only Stage 1; the prognosis is excellent, and my surgery is on Wednesday, Nov 9th. 

The doctors are still fretting over my weight. It does not count how much I have lost; it counts what I am NOW to them. I was 310 this morning, and that still puts me in the high risk category. But quite a few things have been happening in my favor the last couple of months that make me feel like God is looking out for me, and encouraging and reassuring me. So... I am hopeful. If you are so inclined, I would appreciate prayers. Thanks ya'll, and see you in a few weeks! =^..^=

A Kitty for Nancy 

Aug 31st A Turning Point & Why I Was Wrong

Sorry in advance this will be long. It feels like I’ve turned a corner, and I want to get it down here.

I’m 65 years young. Put on my first diet at age 10. Fought this wt thing all my dang life.

(can click to enlarge)

I tried to do everything “they” told me to do. Spent thousands over the years, including going into debt from a hospital based Dr/nutritionist program in the 80’s. Liquid fast of 400 calories a day. Ended up in hospital with mini-stroke and gallstone attack. You get the idea. Only reason I never did wt loss surgery was my insurance refused to cover it. 

I believe “they” meant well. Most just gave some form of “eat less, move more” advice. But nothing worked for this food addict. I finally discovered, that FOR ME, I needed to let go of sugar. I went low carb and sugar free several years ago, which finally released me from the physical food cravings.

Yet… the emotional part was still there. A lifetime of using food to “mood shift”, to try to fix feelings. That ingrained habit persisted.

Over the years I’ve tried about every book/CD/video/course out there. Secular, Christian, psychology, behavior modification, power of positive thinking with all it’s various offshoots. Private counseling, various alternative herbal, alternative therapies. Investigated rational emotive therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and some I can’t even spell.  

I still think there is merit in some of that. But…

I think now, I was wrong. For some issues, all that is great. For this food addict… it didn’t work. Believe me, I sincerely tried. I wasn’t playing around. I would plunge in and give it my all, with high hopes. Only to be painfully disappointed when I eventually crashed once more.

Through the private support and accountability group A Better Weigh, I was introduce to the little free e-book from Dr Marty Lerner. He has run an in-patient addiction recovery clinic for many years, and knows a few things. I’ve been studying his book for weeks. I had to be teachable, since a lot of what he says is the opposite of other stuff I’ve read! Yet as I read, then re-read, thought about it, prayed about it… I finally understood some of it.

Thank you, Dr Lerner, for showing me why I was wrong. Why I had the “cart before the horse”. I sincerely believed what “they” all said: Change your thinking, change your life. That was the whole premise of my former approach. I mean, all the big name writers/teachers said so, each in their own way. 

Yet, for the food addict… there it is again. For the addict, Dr Lerner says that approach doesn’t work, in his years of experience.

And he explains why that is BACKWARDS for the addict. His approach finally, finally has penetrated this hard head. In a nutshell, he says to obtain recovery from an addiction (in my case, using food as my drug of choice) one must DO the right thing regardless of how one feels. In his words:

“Recovery is about transcending our  need to fix how we feel and doing the next right thing no matter what we’re feeling.”

“The cart is placed before the horse when we get it backwards by insisting we fix our feelings first. Believing our feelings and thoughts must be changed before we’re able to change our behavior can be a very costly mistake.”

I still believe in the truths about the power of our words; of what we choose to consistently think upon… all that. But thanks to Dr Lerners explanations, I can see that for this food addict to obtained and KEEP recovery, the answer lies first in the DOING, regardless of feelings. AFTER recovery is when those therapies have merit. I had the cart before the horse.

Feeling very thankful today. 

If you would like to read Dr Lerner’s e-book, he is generously offering it free online HERE. Just put in your first name and email addy, and they will send you the link. Truly, it’s life changing.

Still on the Journey,

Retta

June 6th I'll Do ANYTHING... just not that.

I've written about this before. How I was "willing" to make changes, but I also had boundaries. Things/favorites/foods/routines etc, that were off limits. 

Whenever I got desperate enough to let go of something that was actually a hinderance to my progress... gee, guess what?? I'd make progress. You'd think I would figure out to let go easier and sooner, right?

During my weeks with Sean/Gerri/Kathleen's support group (it has no official name, so I never know what to call it) I realized I needed to once and for all let go of a LIFETIME habit: being a Night Owl.

I've given every justification in the book, and some even now sound legit to me: it's my biological clock; I enjoy doing my art then, it's quiet and peaceful; there are no interruptions; the phone never rings; the Husband is asleep and won't ask for this or that; it doesn't bother me to sleep in the light... etc etc etc.

Problem with all that is this:   It. Kept. Me. Fat.

I would end up tired and/or hungry, and eat too much. Again. After all regular meals were already done. Over and over I would try to come up with a solution to that. A compromise.

Now I accept and embrace this truth: 

There can be NO COMPROMISE 

with anything that is destroying my health.

It's that simple. Some things can be adjusted, changed a little, tweaked. 

Not this, not for me.

This is one of those things in life that truly is all or nothing. 

And I accept that. 

I surrender to that. 

I embrace my new identity as "a Morning Person." 

(okay, that last one was said with an eyeroll and cringe, I'll admit!)

When I started with this support group back in March, I committed to going to bed each night at 11pm. 

This I can control.

I don't control how well I sleep, so I allowed that I can sleep in if needed. But I CHOOSE to go to bed at 11:00. I might tweak that later, but for now, that's my rule.

For all you Early Birds shrugging and thinking "So what's the big deal???"...  this is a Big Deal to a lifelong Night Owl. A huge shift in body rhythms, timing, scheduling, thinking patterns. I'm surprised at all it seems to affect. 

But I am willing.

The result: for these last few months, though it does not feel "natural" yet, is that I have not binge eaten ONCE at night. 

Not. Once. 

If you don't struggle with night time overeating, then you don't realize how significant a change this is. It's a big deal to me. 

And I am extremely grateful for this breakthrough. More than I can get across here...

Today's quotes:

"You cannot rely on your feelings... you can act your way into feeling long before you can feel your way into action. If you wait until you feel like doing something, you will likely never accomplish it." --John C. Maxwell, How Successful People Think

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way." --II Thess 3:16, Bible

Today I am feeling Hopeful.

Retta

=^..^=

March 28th Breaking the Chains of Fear

Been spending most of my time over at my art blog and creating a new website. 

Thinking.

Learning.

Pondering.

Questioning.

And listening for the answers.

After hearing a song called "No Longer Slaves" a few zillion times, I decided to actually believe the message.

"I'm no longer a slave to fear, 

I am a child of God."

Link for those interested: song on youtube

Fear? Me? naw.... yeah, right.

I've spent years at this health/weight loss blog. Writing, looking for answers. Reading and researching. Trying to learn. I found some things that worked for me, as long as I worked at them consistently.

Yet it never seemed to permanently take root. I had to constantly focus on it. It felt like it sucked all my time and energy. When was it going to be permanent?? 

I knew most the mechanics of it, this "losing weight thing". So... I decided to put it on auto-pilot. And I spent my best energy over at my art. And waited. 

I floundered around awhile. Gained some. Lost some (thankfully, I'm on the losing end of that now). I tried to just do the basics I knew, and focus on the thing I felt I was here to do: to do something, anything, in art. 

To make something, anything, that might be a blessing to someone else. To bring a smile, to enrich or add value to someones life.

Oh, and those fears?? Well, let's see...

Fear of sounding pompous or self-important by wanting to make art that would actually be a blessing to someone.

Fear of putting it out there, to be accepted or rejected.

Fear of being judged in the art world, the way I've been judged in the "weight loss" world.

Fear of trying and failing, of never making art in the real world the way it looks in my imagination.

Fear that it really IS too late.

Fear of going against the mainstream of what is "popular" in art circles nowadays.

And how's this one: fear that some will think this post is a clever marketing trick to get ya'll to go visit my new art site. 

Anyway, I decided it's time to let the fears go, the best I can. Let go of all the fears that kept me for YEARS from making a serious art website where I sell my art. 

To let go of the fear of mentioning it, because I was afraid people would think I was using them... trolling for customers. All that squirrelly thinking that held me back.

And now that I actually DID take action, I am more at peace and happier with myself, and finding it not "quite" so hard to do those healthy basics I mentioned earlier.

I suspect I will need to work on eating healthy more than the average bear for the rest of my life. But...  now that my focus is on something that brings me joy and a reason to get up in the morning, methinks it won't be such a grind. Well, I can hope! 

:-D

I encourage anyone, everyone who is on this quest to get healthy to find YOUR path. Your own answers. Never give up looking. 

And find your passion, the thing that lights you up inside. That gives you a feeling of purpose. For too long I put that aside, thinking I had to have this weight loss thing all squared away before I could really pursue my dreams. WAY too long. As in, years. 

Learn from my mistakes, and live your best life NOW. Live on purpose NOW. :-)

Enjoy the journey (not just the destination),

Retta

July 7th I Can Do Better

What's that emo we see on the interwebs? Face palm?

(photo credit)

That's what I feel like doing today. I JUST finished visting a blog I read once in a blue moon. And scrolling down past posts, one jumped out and smacked me right between the eyes. The post title is: 

How to Succeed at Weight Loss 

(And Anything Else) 

(Link to whole post Here) 

Sounds like an infomercial, right? But here's the thing... the blog writer, Bryan Ganey, has lost nearly 400 pounds, no surgery. 

You read that right: LOST 400 lbs. So, I have to give the man some respect, and at least be open to new ideas.

But that was the problem. What he went on to say was NOT a new idea to me. Ouch... it was all too familiar, in fact.

I looked up from the computer screen, and saw the little yellow sticky note I had stuck where I could see it every day. It was slightly curling at the edges, and dated 7/30/12.  I felt rather... I don't know... foolish feels about right... as I read it:

Make a Schedule... and FOLLOW IT!

Make a Menu.........and FOLLOW IT!

Yep, it was exactly what Bryan Ganey had posted about. Exactly.  Have a routine, and then follow it. Sigh...

The problem is, without the "doing" part, having a cute little sticky note with good advice doesn't do a bit of good. If I had taken CONSISTANT ACTION when following the instructions on that sticky note, I would have been at my goal weight now, and a lot healthier.

Consistent Action. That sounds familiar to me, too, as I type it out. Must've done a post about that, too. :-}

I've kept a daily "to do" list for decades. 

Planned my projects.

Made lists.

Made plans.

And here I sit, admitting it is just wasted ink without the follow through.

I can do better.

I can follow through. Like Mr Ganey writes, if we do that day after day after day... we will eventually see results. It will add up. 

I know I've written about this before. I've even "tried" before. But I think we must learn in layers... in levels. Hard to explain. But maybe we just have to ready for that next step. Be willing for that next step.

I'm not going to get all jazzed up and write out yet another plan or list or program. I've done all that. I'm just going to DO the part I haven't been consistent in doing:

FOLLOW IT.

I highly recommend Mr Ganey's post. Very good kick in the tush if you are struggling.

Never quit,

Loretta

Time For To Make Art, saith the Cat

One of my favorite passages written by wise King Solomon says "There is a time for everything."

It goes:

There is a time for everything, 

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

I know most will skim over that due to time pressures, but I've slowed down many times and read it carefully, thinking about each line. And I think I know why I haven't felt the need lately to write on this blog.

See, I've been here for YEARS, asking questions, searching for answers. And now it feels like I have no more questions. It's that simple. I feel at peace that I already have enough answers... now I simply need to DO what I know needs to be done. Sure, there is always more to learn, but that's not my point. My point is: it's time to DO.

• I've done the search for Understanding, in regards to my past.
• I've done the tough job of accepting TOTAL responsibility for my situation.
• I've made huge changes in what kind of nutrition I eat on a regular basis.
• I've made peace with the fact that this is permanent; I can't "use" food like a drug, and still be healthy.
• I've learned that in order for this to be permanent, my Heart must change.
• I've decided to accept "what is", and totally let go of "what could have been."
• I've learned I need to embrace my goals and refresh the vision I have for myself.

And I feel at Peace about all that. Finally. 

So I really don't have a lot to say right now. I am enjoying reading and supporting some other health/weight loss blogs, but mainly am spending my online time over at my art blog. I feel the freedom now to put my energies there. I don't need to spend tons of time looking for my answers here: I already have them, and need to DO them. Hmmm.... I said that before, didn't I?

For totally unrelated reason, this morning I was looking up word definitions, and it helped me in writing this post.

Here are some of those words:

self-centered

self-absorbed

self-indulgent

self-involved

Hmmm... see a pattern there?? Now you see why I'm tired of writing about ME??!!

Remember, this is where *I* am, after years of blogging around the same mountain. If you are just starting out, don't think I am telling YOU not to explore your own life, mind, heart, past, situation, etc.  May your journey be filled with discovery and new understandings!

But for me, it's time to pursue my passions... the things that get me up in the morning, and fill my day with joy!

See ya sooner or later.

Enjoy the journey,

 

Loretta

APRIL 5th Back to Consistency

I read a terrific post by Chris at A Deliberate Life (HERE)   

a while back. She said a LOT of great stuff, and I highly recommend it. But the word that reached out and grabbed me the most was CONSISTENT. 

I thought of all the times in my life I've "dieted". All the "tries", all the repeated efforts, programs, methods. Fail, try, fail, try, fail, try, ad nauseam. 

If I had just picked one and been consistent, I would have been done with this thing EONS ago. 

Out of curiosity, I looked at my own blog index and found I'd written about Consistency/Consistent 85 times!!!!!!!! EIGHTY FIVE!!

It was even my "theme" for 2011... sheesh...

My first reaction was... exasperation at myself! 

My second was... sadness and embarrassment over all the wasted time.

My third was... I just shook my head, smiled sheepishly to myself, and decided to read each and every one of those posts. To see if there is anything helpful there for me. Because I still WANT to learn consistency. 

It's not a matter of "need" to. 

I WANT to.

And I hope that will make the difference.

In fact, I BELIEVE that WILL make a difference.

I want to Consistently DO, not just talk. 

Talk is cheap... it's what I DO that will make the difference.

My book quote for today:  "The true story of every person in this world is not the story you see, the external story. The true story of each person is the journey of his or her heart." --from The Sacred Romance, by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge

My verse for today: "Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."

My quote for today: "Consistency. Doing it day in and day out and not letting it be optional." --Chris Oursler, A Deliberate Life

Enjoy the Journey to Wellness, consistently,

Loretta

PS: As of April 2013, the Comments are turned off. 

Please enjoy just reading, no pressure to respond. 

I hope something Encourages you, or sparks Hope or interest. Or not. 

But either way, I want to continue to document my Journey to Wellness. 

The "numbers" do matter, since they are the result of Consistent good choices.

But it's not ALL about the numbers. 

We are more than that... we are whole people! 

DEC 26th Improving Focus & The Hanging Neck

I loved this POST by Jules, in which she recalled her accomplishments from 2012. It made me realize I had started to focus too much on that fact that I was ending this year heavier than when I started.  

Yes, I needed to learn from it and make course corrections. But after I read her post, I started thinking about making my own "accomplishment list". In fact, I was toying with calling it "What I Learned In 2012". Just remembering some of it was encouraging! And that brought it home to me how much focus I had been putting on my disappointment in the weight loss... or lack thereof. 

My focus was aimed in the wrong direction! I want to focus, instead, on where I am going, and what I WANT, not on what I don't want... on my goals and dreams, and not get stuck in my mistakes. Also, on NOW... to LIVE in the present.

I had to remind myself that what I focus on GROWS! So I'd better take careful aim. I must admit, I'm feeling hugely  encouraged since I've been working on that consciously.

One of the comments on that post from Jules was from June, at The Path to Health.   I visited June's blog, and was set to giggling over the ending of THIS POST  of hers. It tickled my funny bone, because I knew just what she meant! 

She had posted a photo of herself... taken lying down! And made reference to a certain episode of The Golden Girls, and how that was the only position (laying down looking up into the camera) from which she wanted to take the photo, feeling old at the moment. 

Why could I relate?? Because just a few days ago I had to renew my drivers license. Yes... a new photo was required... aargh. It was... not what I had hoped!  (I was going to write ghastly, but that doesn't sound too positive, does it?!) :-D

The guy taking the photo kept saying "just relax". I thought I was relaxed. Later, as I was moaning about how awful it looked, MyGuy said: "He TOLD you to relax, and was trying to help, because you had your lips pursed!"

Well, THIS IS ME! Pursed lips, hanging neck and all! The alternative is to be under a tombstone, so I might as well "be thankful in all circumstances".

Instead of writing out my "accomplishment list for 2012" here today, I'd really rather include something I stumbled upon Christmas eve. I'd read it before, but maybe the timing is just right this time, and it struck a chord in me. 

The verses below were found written on the wall of a children's home in Calcutta, India, that Mother Teresa ran. Some say they seem to be adapted from something originally written by Kent M Keith in 1968. But Mother Teresa changed a few words and made it her own, especially her reference to God at the end.

I love Mother Teresa's version... so here it is in full. I want to keep this in mind going into this bright new year of 2013:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. 

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. 

Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.

Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.

Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.

Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

Enjoy the journey anyway,

Loretta

Post 2022

AUG 27th Quotes & Chris Has Struck Again!

I love quotes. I can't remember a time when I did NOT enjoy them. They are like distilled wisdom. So naturally I have little scraps of paper around my studio with some of my favorites scrawled on them. Some are so old, they are faded and hard to read. (click on any pics to enlarge)

One favorite place I stick them on is a kitchen tool caddy that I use in my studio for my colored pencil collection, plus other assorted junk.

You know how when you have something up so long, that you eventually don't even "see" it?? Well, yesterday morning I glanced at my tool twirlie, and two words caught my eye: the amateur

The paper this quote was on had faded so badly--it's probably been taped up there 15 years!--that I had inked over those two words to see them better. I had to get up close to read the REST of that quote:

"The artistic temperament

is the indulgence

of the amateur."

--G K Chesterton

Huh! It struck me that the truth of that quote is not only for the "artist". But for all endeavors. Like... oh let me think...hmmm... weight loss endeavors!! 

No, not a deep or new thought. But it just struck me yesterday, and reminded me that it doesn't matter in the slightest how I FEEL. Strong, determined, optimistic, spiritual, hopeful... or discouraged, weak, frustrated, annoyed or skeered. 

Doesn't matter. 

Doesn't matter in the sense that I don't have to be sitting around waiting for the right feeling to come along, for me to be working on making the right choices in the meantime. If I want to be successful at this thing, then even while I'm still trying to get my ducks all in a row, I can't indulge in the "temperament of the amateur".

Even while I iron out the wrinkles, I need to be working on making healthy choices. Chris at A Deliberate Life  recently had a post that really affected me. So much so, that I didn't leave a comment for days!! Some things you just have to chew longer before you can swallow them, ya know?!  :-}  

Does she have all the answers? All her bugs worked out perfectly?? I doubt it. But Chris decided she wasn't satisfied with "mediocrity" any longer. She is ready to make a hard push. She said she will work out the rest of the details later. She said that for NOW, "I am capable of more."

Sometimes we need a kick in the tush to shake up our point of view! I had always said that whatever I do, it has to be for life. I've gone on and off hundreds of "diets" over the years, and I was done with that. Well... Chris offered a different point of view about that. And it made me at least stop and think, and consider that sometimes it's okay to shake things up! 

I mean... if a guy was out in the ocean drowning, you wouldn't sit in your little boat and lecture him on how to swim, because after all, it's a skill he'd need for life. You throw him a life ring! And worry about swimming lessons later. Right or wrong in my interpretation, that's how what Chris wrote struck me.

So! Hard as it is to stick my neck out there and once again declare a "goal"... I am joining Chris in her determination at making a HARD PUSH. It's time. I need it. I don't plan to stop my other lines of focus, since the REAL change is on the inside. But I'm drowning here!! I need to swim NOW!!

It's Hard Push time. It's hit me hard that as of today, it's been 1100 days since I started this blog. And I'm still not to my goal. I can let that kick me DOWN, or I can choose to let it kick me UP.  I'm choosing UP.

Want a kick in your tush?? Go read Chris' post. Pretty good stuff. :-)

My book quote for today: "With  high levels of mental discipline, you'll reach your goals faster, upgrade your potential for joy, and become a lot more fun to be around. When you keep your thoughts fixed on God, the things of God will naturally permeate your life, and thus your goals will be in line with his will..." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

My quote for today: "Becoming realistic is the most common path to mediocrity." --Will Smith

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

Day 1100