May 11th... Slower than Slow and Gratitude

It’s been going glacially slow for me these last months. Just when I get going, seemed like I hit another speed bump in the road. 

I feel like Tim Conway in this funny video. Everything is slow motion!!

38 seconds of Slo Mo Tim Conway

Still bouncing around 261. Still haven’t busted through to that fun goal of 200 lbs lost. Well, I suppose 199 lbs lost ain’t bad… ha ha, ya think?!

But it IS frustrating to be stuck again. Been hard lately.

• Had a sad, sad event. My big brother, Phil, passed away in February. I miss him so much. It catches me unawares at times, and hurts all over again.

• Had minor foot surgery. Ended my "get up and move more" plan.

• Had a bad fall that injured both shoulders. One is better, the other has a date with an xray soon.

• Had bad news for Joey. She was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Needs insulin twice a day. She is so small, and to check her blood glucose from the tiny veins in  her itty bitty ears is very stressful… for her and for me. We almost lost her, she got so emaciated before we got it under control. She is slowly getting her mojo back, gently and carefully.

• Had a minor stroke a couple of weeks ago. Affected vision, hearing and speech. Vision and hearing back to normal. Speech better, just a stutter occasionally when trying to say words now. 

But... I am truly thankful it was minor. My brain has a date with an MRI soon. I, too, am slowly getting my mojo back. Gently and carefully, too.

Joey, our girl Mini Schnauzer, 

laying against Jim's pillow, her

favorite place

My goodness! This is the first time I’ve put all the "drama" together in one list like this. Holy cow, no wonder I’ve been crying at the drop of a hat. Sean Anderson wrote in his blog today: 

This pain intolerance or intense pursuit of feeling "normal" again reminds me of the pattern I've had with emotions, stress, and food my entire life. Not wanting to feel uncomfortable or flat out refusing to feel uncomfortable or feeling any feelings if those feelings create resistance to feeling "okay," makes sense to me.My deeply ingrained pattern involves avoiding all conflict and accompanying feelings. Avoiding natural feelings of life stunts emotional growth. Avoiding the feels doesn't make 'em go away, it just sets 'em on simmer, below the surface--constantly bubbling up in everything we do. Feeling feelings and working through them instead of around them, changes things dramatically because it encourages real solutions instead of band-aids.” (please go here for the complete post) 

I sure can relate to what Sean wrote. Totally. I’m not gaining weight over all this, but it makes for some rocky feelings to process.

I have a verse I am trying to memorize thanks to all this drama. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”   (Philippians 4:6,7)

I must admit, the hardest part for me is to avoid getting stuck in the problem, and to focus on that Thanksgiving part. But when I do… the Peace comes. And I so want more of that Peace. 

Joy Comes in the Morning

by Retta Stephenson

Continuing the Journey with a (most of the time) grateful heart,

Retta

Dec 22nd Ending the Year with Hope & Peace

So many changes, so much to feel thankful about. 

Very busy, like everyone else. :-)

I'm feeling encouraged and hopeful. Lots to think about, lots to learn, lots to do.

Do.

That's the key. Consistently do.

I'm still working on my SERF practices. That stands for Spiritual, Exercise, Rest, and Food Plan. Simple, yes, but easy for me to remember.

In case anyone missed it, I wanted to offer a Christmas present to ya'll: 

a free e-book from Dr Marty Lerner (link below). 

It's the one that I feel God used to show me some pieces to the puzzle that I had been missing. It's not just a bunch of theory. Anyone on this journey to health very long has had it up to HERE with theory, yes?!

It's action oriented. Short. Practical. Sure... work on the Whys all you want. But in the meantime, DO. That's the book in a nutshell. In fact, in his 30-ish years of running an addiction clinic (Milestones in Recovery), Dr Lerner has been convinced that until we get our behinds fully into DO mode, we will be side-tracked and stuck forever in the WHY mode. That we will have the cart before the horse. 

So his solution: DO. Then once rolling in the right direction, we can work on the other stuff.

Highly recommended. Here is the link to the free ebook, no strings attached. 

Merry Christmas!

My book quote for today: "You make a daily choice in how the rest of your life goes, and it can be great. The rules are straightforward: exercise hard and you will grow younger. Care about other people and you will grow happier. Build a life that you think means something and you will grow richer." --Crowley and Lodge, Younger Next Year for Women

My verse for today: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

My quote for today:"Be like the bird who, pausing in her flight on limb too slight, feel it give way beneath her, yet sings, knowing she hath wings." --Victor Hugo

Retta

=^..^=

JUNE 6th Aftermath

This morning, I briefly thought about writing a post. That's what you DO on a blog, right? But I didn't. All I could think of was: I got nuthin to say.

Well... now I do.

Jim is doing his civic duty today, for Jury Duty. I'm baby sitting The Pup. She has Barkarrhea today. That's like diarrhea... only with noise instead of... well, you know.

My thumb is infected. Hurts. Has hurt for the last 8 months actually. Some days I get frustrated and start whining and feeling sorry for myself. Some days it feels like my "pain cup" is already full, and the least little thing will make it overflow. The old "I can't take any more" crapola thinking.

So, for the umpteenth time, I bumped said thumb. That was IT. That was all it took... I let out a scream, more in frustration than the pain. Then I felt bad because Joey came running, all worried that something was wrong. She wanted to lick me, to make it better. Sigh... then of course, I felt silly, and my pride wondered if the neighbors heard my meltdown. Double sigh...

THEN... I thought of all the stuff others are going through. Not in the  big world; you could overwhelm yourself if you went there. No, just my own little world... the people I know, my family and friends. And then I really DID feel silly. 

It's not life threatening, or crippling, or even life altering. It just hurts a lot. And sooner or later, it will get better. And I started thinking of all I really DO have to feel thankful about... and it's a lot. 

Yesterday I watched a PBS special: Yanni Live in El Morrow. I've always loved to paint to Yanni music. It's instrumental mostly, and relaxing and uplifting to me. During the special, he said that he doesn't write his music when he is in the middle of hard times. He waits... and writes it after he's gone through the healing/learning process. Ahhh... I could relate. I realized that's the way I like to write my blog, and that's even the way I paint.

So here I am, done with the screaming, and shifting my focus to gratitude.

Thank you, Joey, for interrupting my pity party.

My book quote for today: "I've observed that all lasting change is preceded by changed thinking. Any other type of change will be only temporary. The place to begin, then, is with your thought life, with a revival of your mind." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "When I said, 'My foot is slipping', your unfailing love, Lord, supported me."

My quote for today: "If you wait for circumstances to be perfect before moving forward, you'll do much more waiting than achieving. If, instead, you make the most of what you have here and now, life will be full indeed. You are here, in this place at this time. There's something unique and wonderful that you can do with it all." --Ralph Marston

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 1018

DEC 28th I Stuck to my Plan & The Birthday Girl!

Hi Journal & Friends,

Joey went with us on Christmas Eve to see the Christmas lights... what fun! 

We made our "imitation blizzards" to take, and they turned out delicious. I didn't miss the Dairy Queen version in the least! And we knew what we were drinking was actually good for us, too. Well, "most" of it. Jim wanted a "butterfinger" flavor, like the one DQ makes. I came kinda close, but to get his requested flavor had to use some of his little Russel Stover butter crunch candies whizzed up in them. Oh well, it was still better than going off plan and hitting the local DQ!  :-D

I went into the holidays with a plan, and stuck to it. I can't tell you how encouraging and energizing that feels. By the way, if anyone reading this did NOT stay on their plan, please don't wait til the new year. Start NOW. You'll feel that same encouragement and energy just from making the choice to make your health a priority. Or, as Anne at Carb Tripper calls it, your Fitness Goals. You've gotta see her latest VLOG, it's so good.

Anyway, grab ahold NOW, don't wait, you'll be glad you did. :-)

So... off we went to see the pretty lights. And Joey was sooo funny. She spends most days at home with me, so she is always jazzed when she gets to go on an adventure. This was her first Christmas... she will turn one year old on Dec 28th... oh, wait, that's today! 

Happy Birthday Joey!

Here are a few of the pretty houses we saw (can click to enlarge).

First stop was at the

Elf Training Center:

 Joey and Jim looking

at the lights:

 Joey was excited by 

people walking around...

lots of parents brought 

their children and that

got Joey all jazzed. Not 

that it takes much to get a

mini-schnauzer jazzed!

 She caught me aiming the

camera at her:

 Can you see what the

neighbor did for his 

decorations?

 The neighbors lights:

 Next we were off to the 

"fancy" neighborhood. Every 

year they do a food drive, 

since they get thousands

of drive by lookers.

It was a residential street, with lots of pedestrians. Joey was so excited by all the people walking around... and actually tried to sort of sing/howl when she heard the carolers... too funny!

And I want to thank all of you that left such great comments after my first VLOG attempt. You were soooo kind and encouraging! Why... I think I'll even do another one some time, ha ha ha!

From Dr Phil's book: "You must hold yourself to a higher standard now. You cannot be wishy washy."

My verse for today: Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble."

My quote for today: "Age is something that just doesn't matter, unless  you're a cheese." --Billie Burke

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 863

DEC 19th Snip Snip Ouch Ouch!

Good afternoon Journal & Friends,

Lessons from a Puppy #11

If It's Hard Now, 

Keep Going...

Cuz It'll Get Better

Joey went in for surgery yesterday. She will forever be a Miss now, never a mommy. It was hard on her, since she is almost always with either me or her Hero, Jim. That was the hardest part, seeing her fear of being left with strangers. Poor baby.

Here she was, in the car right after picking her up to bring her home. I drove so Joey could cuddle with her Hero. She was a little groggy and subdued, but perked up the instant she saw Jim.

She spent the rest of the day being pampered, watching tv with Jim, and dozing in his lap.

Today she is a little better. She doesn't bark out loud yet, just "whispers". And is sleeping most of the day, or just sitting and watching. But she is improving, and totally will be back to a bundle of enthusiastic energy by the time her first birthday gets here on Dec 28th. :-)

This too shall pass... 

And that's my lesson to remember the next time things get hard. And I know sooner or later they will, it's just the nature of the beast... that's life. But it's not permanent... it always gets better.

For now, I'm enjoying the holidays! :-D

From Dr Phil's book: "You talk to yourself more than everybody else in your life combined."

My verse for today: "See, I will not forget you... I have carved you on the palm of my hand."

My quote for today: "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." --Neale Walsh

Enjoy the Journey, 

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 855

DEC 9th Planning a New Adventure

Good Evening Journal & Friends,

Okay... nuff controversary. Time for some fun! Well, it's fun for me, anywhoo. ;-)

I mentioned recently that next year one of my goals was to pluck up my courage and open my very own Zazzle  store. I no longer feel as though I have to get "skinny" before I step outside my comfort zone. :-)

Zazzle is an online shop that takes our own designs and puts them on stuff. Everything from prints, cards, posters, key chains and stickers, to personalized postage, t-shirts, buttons and coffee mugs. And tons more, too boring to list here. 

Anyway, before I get involved, I'd like to make sure I really want my NAME associated with them. In other words, I want to check out the quality of their printing and merchandise. So, I bought some stuff.

And most of them turned out terrific! 

I'll be honest in my review... I bought 5 things and: 

3 were fabulous 

1 was just okay 

1 was a little disappointing  

The actual merchandise seems very nice. For instance, the apron is not flimsy at all, but nice, bright white heavy poly/cotton fabric, neatly sewn. Same with the coffee mug: nice size and fabrication. My minor beef is just with how the images turned out on 2 items. And one of those might be because I didn't read close enough to know how big the final image was going to be... not sure about that one. Here's the deets:

We got two mousepads... here

is the one Jim chose, from one

of his waterfall photos. He likes the

quality and richness of the image.

Here is mine. I used one of my 

designs, and stuck on text that

was meaningful to me. I think it

came out crisp and colorful; overall

I am very satisfied. The background

is a soft gray, and my mouse glides very

 easily over the silky smooth surface. 

Eek, I sound like an infomercial!

I love the sturdy white fabric of my apron,

but have to say that in person the image

is not as bright as I had expected. 

Perfectionist?? Me?? Why, never. ;-) 

My mug turned out bold and fabulous!!

I am drinking tea out of it this very minute.

The colors are strong and vibrant, and

I added my new Mantra: 

I Can Do Hard Things

And last but not least... we got Joey

her very own t-shirt! We love how 

she looks in it, and it's adorable. But,

this is the one I was most disappointed 

in. The photo was sooo much smaller 

than I expected. Good thing we have

her in person to look at, LOL!

We're starting to get frost and snow here

in Southern Oregon, so she can keep cozy

when she goes outside to Do Her Business.

Oh, and dig to China after the gopher that 

decided to move into our backyard!

So far, I am leaning towards a thumbs UP on opening my own Zazzle store. It would be called Art by Retta, with a bunch of my designs available to put on shoes, hats, t-shirts, ipod cases, mugs, posters, office accessories, blah blah blah... all the stuff I've mentioned and more. I'll just do it in my spare time. (choke choke... if you only knew what a joke THAT was, LOL!) 

But Jules at Big Girl Bombshell recently had a wonderful post on choices, time and our goals. So my Zazzle store will happen when I make it a priority. Period. Thanks for that nudge, Jules.

Anyone use Zazzle before? Would you recommend it? If I'm headin for a cliff, I'd rather know BEFORE I feel air blowing in my hair! Just doing my research before I decide. :-D

From Dr Phil's book: "Having specific carefully mapped out, vividly envisioned goals is an absolute requirement for success."

My verse for today: "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless."

My quote for today: "Age is something that just doesn't matter, unless you're a cheese." --Billie Burke

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 844

DEC 4th Day of Rest & Fav Photos

Hello Journal & Friends,

Pics of where the kitties lounge and sleep all day... but wait... look who invites herself to the party, all scruffy and in need of a combing! 

I find myself often thinking about enthusiasm... and that if only I could bottle Joey's, I would be a billionaire. ;-)  

Oh, then I remember a lot of that is choice. So, I try to copy her cheerful attitude. So how come she never runs out of steam like I do, LOL!!

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 839