APRIL 1st Foolish Thinking & Continuing On

Hi there Journal & Friends,

People are interesting...

I remember once having a friend from church that I looked up to. She was older than I was, had quite the high IQ, and we had a weight problem in common. One day we were talking about some topic--I don't remember which--and we disagreed.

Then she said something that I never forgot...

 When I asked her WHY she insisted she was right, she said: "It MUST be true... because I believe it."

Alrighty then! But really, isn't that how we are? We get stuck in our own opinion, and just keep building our body of evidence. I'm including myself here.

So... lately I've been challenged to rethink a position, to acknowlege there might, just might be a different way to look at it!

Okay, here was my big opinion:

If you want to lose weight and KEEP it off, you can't have a Diet Mentality. And my definition of a Diet Mentality was: a diet is something you go ON, then later you go OFF of it. And you go back to your old ways, and regain your lost weight, along with some of it's buddies.

I believed that because I DID that too many times in my life to count! It was disheartening... demoralizing... devastating.

Now, if you're just skimming this post in a rush, you are going to go away thinking that's my main point, to not have a Diet Mentality. Nope, it's not.

My main point is this: I was wrong. I was foolishly narrow minded. There IS a Diet Mentality, don't get me wrong. I lived it, I proved that. 

But I'm beginning to see there is a Parallel Truth there. You know... when a different point of view is ALSO true. Doesn't make one NOT true... it just means there is more than one way to reach the goal... more than one approach that can work.

What am I babbling about?? 

When I started on this final weight loss effort, I told myself that I WILL NEVER GO ON ANOTHER DIET AGAIN IN MY LIFE. That's IT. I've HAD it. If it's not something I can do for life, then it's a "diet", and I just won't do it.

Well, I stubbornly, pridefully, clung to that belief, and foolishly thought it should apply to EVERYONE. I supported anyone's chosen path publically, but inside I would be worried for them... about what would happen to them when they ended their "diet" and went back to real food. I assumed the same thing would happen to them, that happened to ME. 

But my premise had a flaw. I was assuming that anyone who was losing weight on a "diet" had that same Diet Mentality that I used to have. Ooops.

I've finally had my eyes opened, I think. I've been reading many different blogs, and can see a few who are different. Oh sure, there are some who are still hunting for that "easier, softer way" as they say in OA and AA. Who still hope for a magic quick fix, and all that.

But I was watching carefully as people like Anne at Carb Tripper experimented with Liquid Protein drinks. And others, like Margene and her Hub,  who have successfully lost about 250 lbs together, using Medifast. And she is at GOAL NOW!! Margene has a whole terrific website, with photos showing healthy ways to put together nutritious Lean n Green meals. She is obviously planning on eating healthy for life! (Really, if you want ideas for simple healthy meals, check it out here).

But the icing on the cake (sorry for that!) was when I read an old post by Lyn at Escape from Obesity. It was titled: For the Rest of Your Life: Diet, or Lifestyle?

What a zinger! It was the final nail in the coffin of my know-it-all opinion on the subject!! 

No, I haven't rushed out to buy Medifast (I don't do soy, it messes with my thyroid function). But I'm rethinking my position. What Lyn, Anne and Margene said made a lot of sense. Sometimes we need a tool, a method, to shake things up, and get going. So... I've just been trying to be more open minded  about this topic, and been a-thinking...

This was a hard month for me, for sure. My Dad died on March 7th. I didn't do bingeing like in days of old. But I didn't try very hard, either. I was "comfortable" with portions. Which for me means too much too often. Hence this mornings weigh-in: 344. Up 7 pounds from last month. Siiighhhh. Bloggers who enjoy slicing and dicing those who struggle will have fun with that one. *shrug*

But... I am trying. This past Monday morning I was 347. That was so discouraging, it helped me face reality. We will always have "life" to deal with. I've let it become an excuse, and that needs to stop.

So... onward with the Great Spring SlimDown to Summer. I will never quit. I may have to adjust... rethink... or try a better approach, but I'll never quit. 

From Dr Phil's book: "Change your thinking to change your weight."

My verse for today: "I will praise your name, O Lord, for it is good. For He has delivered me from all my troubles."

My quote for today: "Looking back you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life--and it was you. It is not too late to find that person again." --R. Brault

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 595

DAY 165 Yet Another Misleading Diet Book

Hi Journal & Friends,

Yesterday I received an email from an assistant editor at a book publishing company,  asking me to review a diet book, and then give some away.  Huh? Me? Apparently he saw I had lost a few pounds, and thought it would lend credibility to their product.

I would be curious as to your opinions... I learn so much from all of you, and this was a first for me! Here is the email I sent back to him:

Hi Mr-Fake-Name (So-I-Don't-Get-Sued),

Thanks for visiting my blog. I found your email very interesting, after I overcame the reflex to automatically hit the delete button. 

I watched the YouTube video link you provided, and went to the website with the screaming yellow and red decor. Eye catching, for sure.

Okay, here's the deal. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say.  I try to be honest. With myself, and with others. I am not even sure you would want that kind of "reviewer".  But my good name is more important than money... integrity is paramount.

So, here is my first knee-jerk reaction to all the info I have read/seen today on this book (without having the benefit of actually reading the book):

1. Hey, I did that, too... no flour/no sugar

2. This guy is quite the entertainer

3. I enjoyed the info and entertaining way it was presented in the video.

4. But was highly irritated by the website... because:

--Annoying shouting, tacky colors and layout

--Too good to be true presentation

--It's low carb, but no where admits that, like it's trying to repackage an old concept and present it as something new he discovered = deceptive feeling

--It's only offering HALF the answer

That last one was the deciding factor for me. The book, according to the video and the website, focuses on the external means of change: diet and exercise (though

 some of the testimonials flaunted the fact that they lost weight WITHOUT exercise).

For the average person with a little extra lard, fine. That'll do the trick. But for a whole huge (no pun intended) chunk of the population, it is the INNER changes that are necessary to KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF.

No way on God's green earth am I going to support a weight loss method that does NOT include the inner changes--in thinking, attitude, emotions, beliefs--that are needed to make the weight loss permanent.

I have lost over 100 pounds 3 previous times in my life, with "diets", only to regain it all and then some. Why would I inflict that kind of hurt onto others???

A "diet" is something that you go ON, and at the end of it you go OFF of it. And then you REGAIN it all back unless... UNLESS, you have made permanent inner changes.

People don't get to be the size I was--460 pounds--without having inner issues. We used food as a drug of choice... a coping mechanism... a way to numb feeling, to escape, to avoid... whatever you want to call it.

Take away the food, and you are left with the feelings! Now what?? We need to face our stuff, not stuff our face.

We need to do the inner work necessary, and for most people just starting on this journey to find themselves, they need a track to run on... a guide... a simple plan to help them sort it out. It took me a heartbreaking number of years to stumble upon the answers for myself, and then finally the rest of the answers from Dr Phil's book The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution. 

I didn't follow his nutritional plan, instead I did no sugar/no flour. But the simple plan he offered for Right Thinking and Healing Feelings was life changing for me.

So go back to your author, and tell him WHY I refused to be associated with his book. And if he DOES address these issues in his book, WHY DIDN'T HE SAY SO ON HIS WEBSITE??

I'll tell you why: that kind of work takes time and effort, and facing ourselves, and it can be uncomfortable, but worth it. And HE touted all over his website how EASY AND FAST it will be. 

Sure, it will be. They will lose LOTS of water and a little fat, fast and easy. He doesn't bother to explain that it is not all FAT LOSS. Big difference. Does he think people are stupid??

But after all the fast and easy "weight" loss, then what?? 

They will be right back where they started, looking for the next fast and easy answer to their heartache.

This is too important to me... it is life and death for some of us. I have been fat ever since I was a baby. I was put on my first diet at age 10. I could fill oceans with the tears I have cried.

I am PASSIONATE about telling people the truth. And this book is ONLY HALF OF THE TRUTH.

And... it is not even the most IMPORTANT half, at that!!

Sorry, but I am giving you the respect of telling you the bottomline truth. Your book will be a flash-in-the-pan success, because it only deals with the external part of the plan, and neglects the internal part.

Which is like a car without an engine. How far do you think you can push that vehicle without an engine???? You will eventually poop out, and walk off to look for a different, better, easier car to get you to where you want to go.

Respectfully,

Loretta Stephenson

Not Your Average Reviewer

From Dr Phil's book: "Are your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes moving you closer to what you want?"

My verse for today: "I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled."

My quote for today: "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." --Douglas Adams

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 34 Baby Elephants & Success

Hi Journal,

I've been thinking about something that Dr Phil taught in his book, The Ultimate Weight Solution. The story he used to illustrate his point had to do with how elephants were trained. 

They are so huge and powerful, that in order to control them the trainers used to chain the baby elephant to a tree with a large chain. Over time, as the elephant grew up, they reduced the size of the chain and the tree so that by the time the elephant was fully grown, he was contained with a mere flimsy rope and a small stake in the ground.

 The elephant learned at an early age that it was impossible to escape...his "personal truth" told him "that's the way it is". He tried and tried, but could not change his situation.

Dr Phil believes that we CAN "pull up the stakes" of our own experiences, change our thinking, and improve our lives.

We CAN change. What we believe and therefore say about ourselves equals our success or failure. I can be my own worst enemy, or my own best friend. Whether or not it was there inside me all along doesn't matter...I didn't know it, didn't  believe it, therefore it was useless to me. I didn't realize my own potential. It would be the same as being the  lawful owner of a huge fortune...but if I didn't believe it, or accept it, or act on it...of what use was it to me??

  I have made many attempts to lose weight in my life.  I have lost over 100 lbs three times...and lessor amounts many more times....only to re-gain it all back and then some. I DID NOT CHANGE ON THE INSIDE. I did not change my thinking. In fact, each failure created a history of "failure" in my thinking, reinforcing that I was securely "staked to the ground."

I had the "diet mentality", so that as soon as "life" interfered with my program, I reverted to my old personal truth...I went back to my way of coping by using food for other than fuel.

This time, the progress has been much slower. But this is also the FIRST TIME in my whole life that I have kept off weight that I lost. I have had a lot of stalls along the way...and bounced around a bit...but I have not gone back up to my former 460.

This time, I have asked myself the hard questions.

This time, I have been willing to be "uncomfortable", and be honest.

This time, I am willing to change.

This time, I believe it.

This time, whether the going is easy or hard, I am believing that I am up to the task...that it is NOT impossible to change...that it's not going to kill me to be uncomfortable and DEAL with my feelings instead of eat them away. I will survive just fine.

Today, I don't FEEL like I am strong, or successful at this. But I am choosing to believe that if I do not quit, and just plow on ahead regardless of transient feelings, I will make it.

This time, I am not accepting NO for an answer.

This time, I am making it all the way.

This is MY time.

From Dr Phil's book: " No matter what happens, I'll stay the course. If I do what is required, I will succeed."

My verse for today: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

My quote for today: "I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 24 Echoes in My Mind & Question Three

Hello Journal,

I had a funny experience this week...I lost track of time (there is that time management thing again) and it was almost 7:30 pm, and I hadn't done my exercise yet. Well, I thought...MyGuy is going to get home soon...I can skip today and do it tomorrow....screeeech!! My thoughts are jerked to a halt...and what do I hear?? Echoes in my mind of Sean Anderson's words about decisions: are they iron-clad...or elastic??? (here) I laughed right out loud, loaded the Richard simmons CD, and away we danced! LOL! Thanks, Sean. :-)

So today is on to Question 3 from Bob Greene's 5 Questions (I started here).

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Questions 3:  Why have you been unable to lose wt, or to maintain wt loss in the past?

My Answer:  Didn't make the changes permanent... this time kept off the lost 70 to 80 lbs, but it's been a struggle... haven't made more progress towards goal... haven't been willing to make stricter changes, to give up my “drug”... don't think I really believed it would work or I could sustain a " diet" ... that is what it will take from here on down?

_________________________________

When I wrote this answer back in Jan of 09 I still hadn't found a way of eating that I enjoyed, that I could see myself doing for life. Now I have, and it's made all the difference, like the missing piece to the puzzle. I just knew I had to get out of the "diet mentality". It had to be for life. I didn't CARE who promoted it, sold it, recommended it, or proclaimed this or that was THE answer. If it wasn't something I could live with for life, forget it.

I hear soooo many people complain that they lost weight, then re-gained it, and just don't know what happened. Well, I can tell you what happened...real simple. The same thing that happened to ME, over and over.

The Diet Mentality. If you stopped doing a nutrition plan and went "back" to old habits (whether slowly or in a blitz) then you were on a diet...something you go ON then later go OFF. And if we didn't CHANGE INSIDE, then of course we will go back to what we have known all our life...either right away...or later, under stress.

In Dr Phil's book, The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution, he has a whole section where he warns about "instinctual drift." We need to remain aware and careful to make healthy choices, especially in times of stress and pressure. We have the tendency to revert to our prior learned behaviors...those second-nature habits that got us into trouble in the first place.

I still remember from years ago hearing a speaker talk about the difference between those that are willing to make the EFFORT necessary to achieve a thing, and those that were not...he painted such a word picture, that it stuck.

He vividly described those that take the path of least resistance as "floating downstream like a dead fish"...making the least effort, just giving in...

Then there were those that decide...CHOOSE to keep trying, never to quit...to have the courage and determination to go against the current, and swim upstream, like the salmon that gives everything within them to swim upstream, in order to reach their place of birth. I am familiar with that image, living here in Oregon. 

I finally stopped listening to all the statistics trying to tell me what percentage of people lose weight, and how many keep it off, etc etc... I don't care anymore. I will not be defined by cold dead statistics...I will create my own future by my choices now.

Now, I AM willing to change inside, and to make this permanent. Some days are easier than others...but I will not stop "swimming upstream."

From Dr Phil's book:  "You must never relax your watchfulness over your thoughts, feelings and actions...failure to self-monitor is one of the top reasons why people allow their weight to creep back on."

My verse for today: "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped."

My quote for today: "Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." --Arnold H. Glasow

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 17 Way of Eating & Way of Thinking

Good Afternoon Journal,

I have reached the last topic from my "need to be CONSISTENT" list...and that is: and don't forget my Low Carb way of eating.

(okay, that food pic is not low carb, but it was just too hilarious and weird!)

I feel like I have been on a treasure hunt all my life, and finally...at LAST, have found the treasure...the last piece to a puzzle. The last few years I have been consciously trying to make real, lasting changes. 

I've worked on my thinking and my emotions...trying to learn ways to handle stress other than using food...learning to exercise (when you start at 460, that's easier said than done, and you can get owies if not careful), learning the importance of support (not hose--people)...and much more.

But even while working on all that, I was still floundering around trying to find a way of eating that was do-able for life, for ME. I didn't want a "diet". That is something you go ON, then later you go OFF of it...and guess what happens then?? The same thing that has happened to me all my life: I regain it all, and then some. 

No, this had to be something that I could do and enjoy in the long run. Even though the mental stuff is of critical importance, I still needed to eat right, for me. I finally found it in a restricted-carbohydrate way of eating.

Since the purpose of my blog is to focus on the things that help keep my head straight, so I don't drift off into stinkin thinkin, I don't plan to repeat all the arguments for or against low carb eating. Anyone interested is welcome to do like I did...I read about 6 books on low carb, listened to a gazillion podcasts from Jimmy Moore's site, researched on several websites, joined a couple of low carb forums and went crosseyed reading archives of information! Oh, and I even got some cookbooks, and learned there are wonderful foods that are just as yummy as all my old favorites that were killing me! I had to be sure, so I did my homework, til I was satisfied.

Bottomline: I like it, it works, it's healthy, and that's all that matters to me.

I believe we are all so different....I have no problem with people doing different ways of eating...I just hope they are permanent ways of life, healthy in the long run....do-able for life.

In the past, I have tried all kind of plans...including "everything in moderation." Whatever it is in my head, I can't tell you, but for me it doesn't work. For ME, trying to stop at a "little bit" of sugar was like telling an alcoholic to enjoy just a little bit of booze every day...it fed my cravings and eventually led to a binge.

So for ME, I found that getting the sugar (and carbs that turned to sugar fast in the body) out of my system dramatically reduced the cravings. I felt like I finally had a fighting chance at saying no! Now that the physically cravings are handled, it's just a matter of learning to deal with emotions and the stress of life without turning to food...the same ANYONE else using any other plan must learn.

But for ANY plan to work...change must come from the inside. Any plan could work, but any plan can FAIL, too, if the thinking is wrong. Right thinking is a powerful foundation for that necessary change. Obviously, I had work to do in my thought and choice making processes or I would not have gotten up to 460 lbs!

A while back I was talking to my doctor, and said offhandedly "this weight is not a physical problem, is it a MENTAL problem." He looked right back at me, nodded his head and firmly said "Yes!"

So that is why I probably sound a bit redundant...always harping on the mental aspect of this journey...that The Battle Is Won Or Lost Between The Ears.

"I believe that what works in your life works because you make it work. You succeed because you make the right choices, you choose the right attitude, and you enact the right behavior to generate the right results. It is you who must create the life you want. And the choice is yours to make."--Dr Phil McGraw

"Work each day on your thoughts rather than concentrating on your behavior. It is your thinking that creates the feeling that you have and ultimately your actions as well." --Wayne Dyer

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
-- Norman Vincent Peale

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing....that's why we recommend it daily." --Zig Ziglar

"Whether you think you can...or you think you can't, either way you are right." --Henry Ford

"Don't stuff your face; face your stuff." --author unknown

Couldn't have said it better myself. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "You cannot be wishy washy."


My verse for today: "As a man thinks, so is he."

My quote for today: "Never make the same mistake twice, or you'll never get around to all of them."

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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