APRIL 19th A Different Point of View!

For all those who roll your eyes whenever I post a new "aha" moment... get ready to rock an' roll 'em! 

I read a post by Marion at Affection for Fitness that stopped me in my tracks. It's titled: Why I Don't Believe In Willpower for Weight/Fitness. 

Now, I've been  looking for answers for YEARS, trying this and that, going down many dead end paths, reading umpteen different books and trying to learn from the "experts". Everyone has an opinion. But I can't recall reading THIS idea before, from quite this angle, that Marion wrote about.

I highly recommend you read the whole post yourself, but for the sake of discussion, here is what I got out of it, in a nutshell:

Stop trying to find ways to stay all excited/highly pumped up/motivated every single day as a way to get you to your goal, or you will burn out!

 

That's my summary... she said it better. But I had to stop and think about it. Cuz I've been doing the OPPOSITE of what she is saying. Trying to find ways to keep that "motivation" level all hyped up; to "feel" motivated. But Marion made the point that NO ONE can "feel" highly motivated for long periods of time, without ending up feeling tired and wanting to take a rest, a break from it all. 

She said what we need is STAYING POWER, not will power. And we get that by not depending upon "feeling" all excited and motivated, but from just having a plan of what we need to do, day in and day out, then DOING it regardless of how we "feel". 

Bingo! That's when I saw she was right... that IS how I've been feeling lately, tired and burned out. Actually, for a long time! I just never saw it in quite this light before. I won't repeat her post here, but she does explain the answer to all that, so if you find you are feeling kinda burned out, I really do suggest you read her post HERE.

After thinking of all the posts I've written here about motivation, attitude, determination, energy, passion, positive thinking, getting strength, being a Warrior, willpower, blah blah blah... I wonder if I've made it clear that I am a SEEKER, not an expert??

 I don't HAVE the answers, I am SEARCHING for the answers. I know that I've said that before, but not with every post. And I suspect that I must come off as some kind of know-it-all, due to some "feedback" from certain folks. For someone who has turned that corner and has finally "gotten it", I guess I can see why they might feel impatient or frustrated with those of us still trying to "get it". I mean, even *I* get tired of feeling like all I do is talk it, not walk it!

Let me make it reeeeaaalllly clear: I am ON this journey to wellness. I have NOT arrived! I am still learning, and I like to write about stuff that I am interested in, and that--at the time--I am excited enough about to want to put it into a post. Yes, I hope someone else might find it helpful, too. And I'm sorry--truly-- if my communication skills make it sound like I'm thinking I have all the answers, or that I'm saying everyone should do it "my" way. Cuz that's the opposite of what I think! All plans do NOT work for everyone. We all have to find what works for us.

But there are some overall "principles" that do seem to apply to most everyone. And I'm thinking that this post by Marion is one of those. At least... it rings true to me. So I'm pointing it out, in the hopes that others might also find it helpful. If it contradicts anything I've previously written, then definitely ditch what I said, and listen to someone who IS successful at this journey to wellness!

 I really mean it when I say... do yourself a favor and take time to read her post. It's a keeper!

My book quote for today: "All inputs contribute to who you become as a person! Nothing is neutral. Every exposure either overtly or discreetly influences your personality, your character, and the choices you make during the day, even though you are consciously unaware of most of them." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

My quote for today: "The reason why you aren't interested in "deep motivation" is because you know that success in the long run is about pacing yourself and not emotionally exhausting yourself." --Marions daughter

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

PS: As of April 2013, the Comments are turned off. 

Please enjoy just reading, no pressure to respond. 

I hope something Encourages you, or sparks Hope or interest. Or not. 

But either way, I want to continue to document my Journey to Wellness. 

 

DAY 268 Willpower Schmillpower

Hi there, Journal & Friends,

I think Willpower is over-rated. I don't put much stock in it... it has always failed me in the past. My supply of it is miniscule.

Someone once left me a nice comment, saying they admired my willpower... I laughed right out loud!

Admire my will power... say what??!

Na Uh.... not me. 

To me, willpower is like a flash... like the initial spark given off by a spark plug. Then it is spent... and then I am relying on the OTHER things I have learned over the years. 

That spark is great to get those OTHER things set into motion, though. Fortunately, that initial spark of willpower only needs to last long enough to ignite those things in my life that have been the true source of my progress. Things like:

ROUTINES... habits, things to do that become automatic. They don't require willpower, you just do them out of habit. Once set into place, and repeated enough, they carry you when you don't "feel" like it.

ENVIRONMENTAL CONTROL... you can't eat what's not here! Getting the current problem foods out of my house, out of my immediate reach. Some people can eat a little bit of anything, some can't. Um... I can't. Right now, sugar will set off nutso cravings for me. So, in order to reach my goals, I am willing to NOT eat it.

REGULAR WEIGH INS... knowing that I will see the results of my choices. This is a good kind of pressure for me. Whatever the results are, the information is always useful to me.

SUBSTITUTE FAVORITES... to take the place of the foods that still affect me too much (sugar)... this way I don't feel left out or abnormal or resentful. Yes, all rather immature reactions, but it is what it is... for now. I expect it will be better in time.

REWARDS... to add some enjoyment and fun to the process of change. Since my journey is soooo long (I started at 460lbs) I find I need to break it up into fun mini-goals, and enjoy little rewards along the way. NON-edible rewards, just to be clear. ;-)

SUBSTITUTE BEHAVIORS... this is a biggee...things to do that are instantly available  INSTEAD of eating, at those times when hit with strong impulses. Gotta just hold out for little while, and the impulse will usually fade. The best for ME is something creative, I get lost in time and the pressure to eat gets more and more quiet. 

Also, at times I need to examine those feelings, and face my stuff, not stuff my face. For me, it's a situational thing, as to which I do. If it's just long-standing habits (like wanting to eat whenever I turn on the tv) then I use the substitute behaviors. If it's some kind of inner turmoil that I need to deal with instead of eating, then I've just gotta face it and deal with it, not numb it with food. See the diff??

At one time I wrote out a whole list of substitute behaviors... things to do that were incompatible with eating. In other words, something to do during which I can NOT EAT. For example: can you eat while taking a nice hot shower? Or with both hands busy crocheting? Or while outside going for a brisk walk holding little dumbells? 

Anyway, if you are relying on Willpower to see you through a long journey, please re-examine that method. There is so much more than that to carry you all the way to victory. Those of us that have lost a bunch of weight are no different than those that are just starting... we just figured out what works for us. 

If you are at the beginning of your journey, I hope this helps you see that there is no magic formula, no exceptional person... that YOU can do this too. 

CHOOSE to do it.

Whatever it takes.

Be consistent.

Be honest with yourself.

Never quit.

Remember WHY you are doing it.

One good choice at a time.

It will be worth it.

From Dr Phil's book: "You must have a new conversation with yourself that responds to negative messages truthfully and positively."

My verse for today: "Praise the Lord, O my soul... who satisfies your desire with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

My quote for today: "Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival." --Winston Churchill

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 218 Dusty's Big Adventure & Food as a Drug

Hello Journal & Friends.

Yesterday we put a pink harness onto Dusty, and carried her outside for her Big Adventure. It was her first time to explore our backyard. After warily looking around, she relaxed and seemed to enjoy herself. She chomped lots of fresh, green grass and enjoyed the sunshine (can click on any pics to enlarge).

This has been a hard weekend for me, emotionally. Dusty responded well to the cortisone shot, but is obviously weak. Both Saturday and Sunday nights I wanted to turn to my old familiar method of emotional pain management: food. 

Food as a drug. 

An escape. 

A temporary enjoyment. 

A diversion from the realities of life. 

I get it that a sick cat is not the worst thing in the world compared to what some are going through... but Dusty is family, and it's hard not to revert to old habits to cope.

I came close, but... I did not give in. 

Not because I am any big deal, or have some kind of super willpower. It's just the natural result of the "mental exercises", as Sean calls them, at Daily Diary of a Winning Loser.  The constant reminders of our goals and dreams. The right mental input and thinking.

And I kept remembering what he wrote last Friday (HERE): 

Is this choice going to make me feel good or bad?

I've said it so many times... attitudes are contagious. It is so important what we fill our minds with... and what we read. I NEED to read the blogs of those that not only talk the talk, but walk the walk. It encourages me, inspires me, and at times, like this weekend, it gave me that extra push not to throw up my hands in defeat and give in to that urge for instant comfort food. 

Oh sure, people would pat me on that back, and say it's okay, you learned from it, now go on and do better... we are only human. And that is all true.

But... I was about to use it as an EXCUSE... to get away with making a poor choice knowing full well I had everything it took NOT to revert back to "using" again. I have spent too many months building a "new history" of making better choices, to throw it all away now. 

To open The Excuse Door. Once open, believe me it is VERY difficult to get closed again! All kinds of junk gets stuck in the crack, like a foot in the door. Junk like guilt, frustration, anger, doubt, regret, embarrassment... the list goes on. 

How do I know??? Too many years of being the Queen of Excuses.  Too many years of doing well for awhile only to LET something push me hard enough, that I gave in and opened that Excuse Door.

Bottomline, how is me overeating going to help me take care of Dusty?? It's not. It would only interfere with us enjoying every last minute we have together. And I am just not going to do that. Nope, nadda, nyet.

It is NOT how you "feel". 

It is how you CHOOSE, 

regardless of how you feel. 

Period.

From Dr Phil's book: "Because living is hardly painfree, never will your life be without crisis. It is not a matter of if; it is a matter of when. When a crisis hits... you need to be doubly careful because the desire to escape the painful realities of that crisis may override your commitment to managing your weight... Have a plan, and the courage and commitment, and energy to execute it, and you will overcome the tough stuff."

My verse for today: "Be still, and know that I am God."

My quote for today: "As you make choices... your road narrows, until there is no road left but the one you made." --Chris, A Deliberate Life

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 5 Daily Routines

Hello there Journal!

I think I'd like to take a closer look at each of those things I listed yesterday in my "need to be CONSISTENT" list...maybe take one each day and roll it around in my head awhile...I still have a lot of work to do on that list!

The first was being consistent "in my daily routines". It's taken me a long time to hammer out a daily routine that works for me...when I WORK it, that is. Routines take some of the pressure away, and let things run smoother, and I don't have to figure it all out new each day, and rely on willpower every day...cuz most days it's not there! Like today...

Today I feel impatient for results...I don't "feel" like exercising...I don't feel like making an effort at much...all those old excuses are running in my head, like what's the use, one day off won't matter, no matter what you do it doesn't really seem to make a difference, you are just fooling yourself, who do you think you are to post a blog, you're just going to fail and look like a fool...on and on.

But I need to just ride out the storm, and it will pass...challenge those thoughts, and replace them with truth...I need to endure, and be patient for the results. So today, I will follow my routines, my daily schedule, and be consistent in the small efforts...eventually they will add up.

Yesterday the message from Ralph Marston must've been for me to remember today...it includes these thoughts:

One action, taken now, can have powerful consequences far into the future....

Time will magnify whatever you do. So even in the smallest matters, do what is right....

For over time, all your efforts will add together to exert great influence on your life...

Point all your actions, large and small... in the direction you wish to see your life move.

Time will combine all those actions into an increasingly powerful set of results, and now is when you can choose those results.

Make the future your friend by making the most of right now.

From Dr Phil's book: "Change will happen because you MAKE it happen."

My verse for today: "...being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience..."

My quote for today: "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four...unless there are three other people." --Orson Welles

Enjoy the Journey...choose an Attitude of Gratitude.

Loretta

=^..^=