JAN 4th Ain't Got No Rezolooshuns!

I'm still alive an' kicking!

And I finally have something to say. So... here I iz.

The one advantage of being sick ALL of December is that I had no energy or desire to get all philosophical and analytical, and make up a bunch of optimistic and high-flying New Year's Resolutions. Nope, not this year. Not interested.

They're great if they help you. But I discovered something as the new year rolled around, and I noticed all the pro and con resolution talk: that was I was content. I didn't have any desire this year to shake things up, or make huge dramatic changes. 

What I've been doing seems to be "okay". There is no drama, no angst. Me and my Lord are just truckin' along, with Him leading and me trying to stay on the right path. When I wander off into the weeds now and then, He lovingly helps me scramble back on track. It's the no drama part I'm enjoying... the peaceful part.

Okay, the weight thing for 2013?? My highest during 2013 was 366, my lowest is currently 340. So, net loss of 26 pounds for the year. Better than a gain... I'll take it. End of story.

"Detail from Moonlight Rendezvous"

More than that, I've found Peace on this journey. And had one big eye opening revelation a few months ago that rocked me. Okay, if you are one of those that roll your eyes when the fat person talks about "aha" moments that are obvious to all around her... well tune out now, cuz here it comes. ;-)

It's this: I REALLY saw that I've believed a LIE all my life. I've thought about it before, but now I SEE it, know it. I get it. I don't know how to put it into one tiny sentence, so here is how the LIE worked out into my life:

• I felt had to lose weight to be taken seriously, to deserve respect, both personally and in my art business
• until I lost the weight, which is how I believed "mature/responsible" people behaved, I felt I was not good enough
• this LIE side-tracked me all my life, invading all areas, and holding me back from being who I was meant to be
• I kept thinking "as soon as I lose the weight" I can <fill in the blank>
• I allowed this Quest To Lose Weight to be number one, to get too much continuing focus

There's more, but you get the idea. The Weight Loss Thing sat on the throne. Got all the attention, all the energy, and drained me.

"Uphill, Peruvian Style"

These last few months when I've pulled back from the weight loss focus have so... NICE. I've already paid my dues to learn the physical/nutritional parts of what I need to do. I spent the time and effort to ask hard questions of myself, to look inside and do the Heart work. So to finally NOT make weight loss the Number One Thing all the time has been refreshing!

I asked God to help me see how to better spend my time; how to be who He meant me to be; how to not waste this gift of time; to learn to Love better.

"Time, Our Companion"

So, no big weight loss to brag about this year.

But there is one thing that I AM excited about, and proud of myself in a goofy way. At the beginning of the year I joined an online art group, the Virtual Paintout. I wanted to participate for the entire year. Each month we virtually traveled to a new place in the world, via google street view, and painted from a location there. And even though I was sick as a DOG all December, I finished December's painting in Venice, Italy!

"Are You Here, My Love?"

That was a big deal for me. It's as though something in me that I almost lost, that got buried and kicked to the side, and I almost gave up on, has come alive again. I have no allusions as to being some kind of "great painter", and changing the world or anything like that. But I do want to be who I was meant to be. To paint joy, and hope, and beauty, and put my Heart onto the canvas with that paint.  I almost lost that due to the LIE, believing that I had to do the weight loss thing first.

But the Lie has been exposed now. 

If I never lost another ounce, I will still paint. If I never sold another painting, I will still paint. I will paint with love, with joy, with passion and with hope. And with much gratitude, hoping that it can be a blessing to others.

May you all be blessed with a most wonderful and peaceful New Year!

"Hope and a Future"

Enjoying the Journey, 

Loretta

JUNE 1st An Exciting Announcement!

As I sat down to write this post, I was amazed when I realized how many writers I've met along this weight/health journey. Not only bloggers, but book authors.  

Today I'm excited to tell you about one writer that is about to have a long held dream of hers come true: she is courageously announcing the launch of her new book today, due out this summer! 

She is our very own Jules aka Big Girl Bombshell, Here.

Her book is titled:

 Click 3 Times 

Beyond the Flying Monkeys

by

Jules Joyce

And yes, she loves that great old movie The Wizard of Oz. The metaphors in her book are based upon the rich symbolism from The Wizard of Oz.

Why am I involved with her book launch?? Because I had the honor to be asked to do the cover art for her book! 

I've followed Jules' blog for sometime now, and connected with her heart and vision of learning, changing and growing from the inside out, and with her courage to share that process with the world. Here is the cover for her new book (can click to enlarge):

For all the details and links, please visit Jules (HERE)  . Her book is honest and rich in imagery. The questions she asks  along her "yellow brick road", her personal journey, will open up your thinking to all sorts of new possibilities! I think you'll enjoy a peek behind the curtain of Big Girl Bombshell. 

For those interested in peeking behind the curtain of how the art was created... I'll be doing a series on my art blog (HERE)  as to how it was made. 

I'll bare it all:

from the ratty looking preliminary sketches 

to playing with color schemes (some were ghastly!) 

to what all the symbolism on the cover means

to tips on how to create your own cover for that e-book you know you want to write

to the finished book cover 

I took lots of photos, so it'll take several posts to cover it all. It should be fun... if you're into that kind of thing, LOL! Join me over at Art by Retta  for it, starting later today.

Congratulations Jules, on the birth announcement of your new book!

My book quote for today:  "It's not until you risk it all and go for the thing you really want that life becomes unlimited." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash The Warrior Within

My verse for today:  "He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way."

My quote for today: "Sometime in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself." --Katherine Sharp

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 1019

JAN 31st Toon Tuesday On Fire!

Hello there Journal & Friends,

The pain pills have kicked in, and hubby made it through the night without me murdering him in his sleep. Yeah, I was a tad bit grumpy yesterday. :-D

So on to the fun stuff! Last week I posted a free download of a WordBubble doodle (here, if you missed it) 

and today I'm showing my finished doodle. If you'd like to share yours, I invite you to leave a link in the comments to where we can see it.

Here's how mine looked, nekkid of color:

My first pass with the blue family:

Almost done:

Finished, before final varnish (it's hard to photograph with the glare of varnish):

I hope you enjoyed playing around with yours... I liked what Mamajulianna called it... a stress buster. :-D

When I get my new video camera, I plan to do another one. That was fun!

As I discover who played along, I'll add them here, so it'll be easier to visit them and see all the variations:

• Mamajulianna at Abide and Endeavor
• Mary Pax at Wistful Nebulae
• Yellow Rose Jasmine at Yellow Rose of Texas

For you artsy fartsy types, if you'd like more details on materials and method and all that, I invite you to visit my art blog by clicking on link under the pic below. I'll be posting all the deets there later tonight.

My art blog

                               

From Dr Phil's book: "You can create an internal dialogue that is healthy, constructive, and joyful."

My verse for today: "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power."

My quote for today: "If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing." --Marc Chagall

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 897

JAN 24th Toon Tuesday, A Freebie & Playing With Fire

Hi there Journal & Friends,

With the shiny new year of 2012, I am shifting some of my emphasis to what I want: my art, and to live my life to the fullest, becoming who I was meant to be, living with passion and purpose. 

That's why I'm working, afterall, to lose weight and regain health. That's my WHY. I want to focus on that, on what I WANT, not focus on what I do NOT want. To look forward, not backward. 

I was reminded recently that our brain can't tell the difference between a negative or a positive. For instance, think of a pink elephant.

Now... do NOT think of the pink elephant. I don't know about you, but every time I close my eyes and say "do NOT think of a pink elephant"... I DO! This silly example helps to remind me not to focus on "I don't want to be fat"...but rather... "I want to be healthy, strong and lighter". 

So... on to focus on what I DO want. :-D

For my birthday, my sister Karen sent me a birthday card with this quote: 

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." --Albert Schweitzer

Today for Toon Tuesday, I want to offer a VLOG showing--in speed drawing mode--my doodle of Word Bubble #1. It will be blank in the middle, and I offer the finished doodle below as a free download to anyone who would like to play along. You get to pick your own inspiring word to add to the center. 

By the way, I kinda sorta goofed, and didn't leave a very large word bubble in the middle. Sorry 'bout dat. Next time I'll make the blank space bigger. :-}

Here's the finished blank for you to download. Be sure to click and enlarge, so you download the large file, not the thumbnail.

 I'm going to dink around this coming week and color mine. You are welcome to do whatever you want to yours... color it, change it, glitter it, alter it, collage it, whatever. And next Tuesday it would so fun if you came back and gave a link to your blog to share your results, if you're comfortable doing so. 

Only one rule: Have fun! Remember when we were kids and not worried about "being good"? So give yourself permission to just goof around and play, okay?  :-D

Remember the above quote from my sister Karen? The inspiring word I added to my word bubble is FIRE!

This is a first for me, drawing with a camera watching. In INK! No pencil, no eraser. No plan, other than to leave a word bubble in the middle. New year... new adventures!

Speed Doodling - Word Bubble #1 by Retta

(For an easier to see larger version, just

go to my YouTube Page HERE)

For you busybees who don't have 6 min to watch (or maybe you're at work) that's okay, just swipe a copy of the doodle and play along anyway. :-)

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 890

MAY 25th In Search of My Priorities

Good afternoon Journal & Friends,

Still alive and kickin' here in the WET Pacific Northwest! We had a gully washer earlier, and now it can't decide if it wants to be rain, hail, thunder or sunshine... so it keeps switching back and forth. Joey kept running outside and watching it with a puzzled look on her face. 

I've been doing a lot of thinking the last few days. It all started with a painful... make that VERY painful cyst in my nether regions (sorry you fellas).  This is the second time in as many months. It swelled up... burst... bled... healed. Only to repeat. Only this time the closest lymph node was swollen, red and painful. 

Naturally I consulted Dr Google. And was horrified to read the word "lymphoma" among the possibilites. First, let me just say my doctor, this last Monday, said it was just a garden variety cyst. It figures. Yes, these are incredibly painful, but kinda common. We will have to wait to see if the infection drained out or whether it comes back. If yes, he will cut it open and drain it thoroughly. Great. Sumpthin to look forward to...

Anyway, the whole point of this post is that the minute I read about "lymphoma"... and I admitted to myself I am not immortal... and that things like this happen to people, even me... I asked myself what would I do with the time I had left?? My immediate answer was: Well, I wouldn't be spending my time writing a weight loss blog!!! I'm not a writer... I'm an artist!!!

See... the previous week I had read a blog where the writer was all excited about his new goals. It's a good blog... one I read fairly regularly. He said his goals were to get to 1000 followers... to write a book... and to have something to offer for sale through his blog. 

That's when it first hit me... uh... I didn't relate. Totally didn't relate. I rarely look at my follower numbers. I don't have a desire to write a weight loss book. And I don't want to sell stuff from my blog. Now, my art blog... sure, someday I'd like to sell prints and cards and such that could be a blessing to others... but not here. Here... freely I have received... freely I give.

So when the health scare hit, and I remembered my reaction to the blogger who WAS a writer... well, it got me to thinking. And that's why I haven't been here much. 

I've been wondering if I wanted to change my priorities. 

To post less. 

To shift how I spend my time. 

I've been reading a book by Stephen Covey, and he talks about spending our time, our lives, doing what really matters most to us. To "lean the ladder against the right wall." And it's different for each of us.

It's so important to find our purpose, our calling, what lights us up inside... and to reach for it. To not let doubts, fears and lies keep us from living our own "authentic" life.  I've been struggling lately with those doubts, and I think I'm winning.

I want to always remember my "WHY", my reason for doing this whole weight loss thing in the first place. I don't want to waste any more time being side-tracked by repeating the same old mistakes over and over. I want to get ON with it.

(Photo credit)

My original purpose was for my blog to help me stay focused. And it really did! I posted every day without fail for over a year. It's now almost ingrained, finally, to check with my goals and see if I'm on track. It really did work! I highly recommend it for anyone just starting out, or who wants to get back into the Focus Habit.

I'm not saying I am doing perfect. I never have done perfect. But I've made progress. And this blog has contributed to that progress. And all the wonderful people I've met along the way. That was such an added and surprising bonus!! I'm so thankful for all of you. 

I want to continue my blog... just not so often. But I do plan to visit ya'll and keep in touch! You are real to me, and I've become invested in your lives, and care what happens to you. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Are your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes moving you closer to what you want?"

My verse for today: "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;  his love endures forever."

My quote for today: "I want to know God's thoughts... the rest are details." --Albert Einstein

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 649