MAR 6th Sabotage, Strength & Surveys

Hi Journal & Friends,

If you've been blogging for any time at all, then you're probably just like me: you get emails asking you to endorse, promote, join, or otherwise become involved in all kinds of stuff. 99.9% of the time, I can't hit the DELETE button fast enough.

But today I received one that I feel passionate about! Surprise, surprise. So I'm going to promote it, and ask YOU to care, too. :-)

What's it about? 

Sabotage 

Specifically, sabotage of our weight loss efforts by our significant others.

Why do I feel so strongly about it? Because when I finally discovered the nutritional path that was healthy and doable for ME, my hubby (bless his pea-pickin heart) dug in his heels and--without meaning to--tried to sabotage me. For my health, I needed to stop eating sugar and flour. Period. That was March of 2009.

I was committed, determined and wholehearted in my decision to DO this.

He was equally committed, determined and wholehearted in his refusal to join me!!

So much so, that he'd bring home huge trays of giant muffins. Or a large flat of a favorite dessert of mine, baklava. 

Or several gallons of premium Dreyers ice cream. 

You get the idea.

At first I was such a martyr!! 

Then I was mad. 

Then I was full of self pity. 

Then... as I was bellyaching to God one day, I realized I had a choice. I could just keep on suffering and go down in flames, OR,  I could see this as an OPPORTUNITY TO GET STRONGER.

I chose the opportunity to get stronger. Every time he gave me resistance, it was akin to lifting weights. At the gym, resistance training builds muscles. And THIS resistance was strengthening my commitment muscle. Nothing, no one, was going to take this from me! 

Yes, I stumble now and then as far as the quantity that I eat. I've never hidden that fact. I'm working to get consistent with that. But the commitment to not eat sugar and flour has STUCK from day one, in spite of attempts at sabotage. 

That's the message I feel so strongly about: YOU CAN DO THIS regardless of your home situation. 

Regardless of who is criticizing you, or giving you resistance. Regardless of lack of support in your "real life". I didn't have it either. But I had all you great bloggy friends, and that helped tremendously! Heck, I even have my very own troll, who helps me to examine what I really believe, thus making me stronger! :-D

So what's this email thing I was talking about??

There is a lady named Amanda Harp, a PhD candidate at Clark University, who is asking for volunteers to participate in her survey on sabotage from significant others. She is close to collecting enough data, and just needs a few more volunteers to finish her research. 

I'm going to do it, and thought some of you might want to, also. 

If you can answer yes to these 4 questions, then you qualify to participate:

1)  Are you at least 18 years of age?
2)  Have you been participating in a weight loss program for the last 5 consecutive weeks?
3)  Have you been in a committed, cohabitating relationship for the last two years?
4)  Do you ever feel like your partner/spouse gets in the way of your weight loss?  

Here's the pertinent info and links:

--The Study info 

--It is an anonymous survey, and cannot be traced back to you

--After you finish the survey, she will donate $1 to a charity you choose from the following:

Playworks 

The Carter Center 

Susan G Komen for the Cure  

MAP International (the one I'm choosing) 

--She is also offering participants to opt in for a drawing for one of 10 gift cards, or you may choose to also donate that amount to your charity. I think that's a nice thing. :-)

I wish Amanda well in her studies!

Again, here is the main link to participate. 

PS: Just so you know, my sweetie is now very supportive and even tries to enjoy some of the yummy "alternative" things I cook.

My book quote for today: "I extend to you in invitation to meet your true self... and explore the adventure that is your life. There are challenges... but for the warrior, they are opportunities to see how far you can go and what you are absolutely capable of being." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash The Warrior Within

My verse for today: "My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare."

My quote for today: "The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do." --Bill Phillips

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 932

JAN 3rd I'm Stubborn! Are You??

Good afternoon Journal & Friends,

Okay... so here's what I was thinking the other day:

Stubbornness 

can be a good thing 

It all depends how you use it. Recently I was feeling Stubborn, so for the fun of it I put on the donkey earrings my sister made for me.

I am stubbornly believing that even though I'm not a young chick, I can still lose weight and get healthier.

I am stubbornly clinging to my opinion that it's the MENTAL ASPECT of this journey that will be the deal breaker. Too Busy to work on that? Ignore it at your own peril.

I am stubbornly determined to ignore the people that say I must be "realistic" about my goals to get out of a wheelchair. Not only do I want to ditch the wheelchair, I want to go on to someday ditch the walker and then the canes!

I am stubbornly protective of my way of eating, not giving in to societal pressures to "be polite". I don't DO sugar and flour. Period. If people don't like that, that's THEIR problem. I don't push it on others; they shouldn't push their junk on me. It's just what *I* need to do to reach my goals. 

I am stubbornly rejecting pity, disrespect or being patronized. I've finally learned to respect myself, so why would I allow less than that from others? I am kind when possible, but I stand up for myself now when needed. No apologies.

I am stubbornly NOT running with the "easy crowd" any longer. You know, the forums that talk and whine and pat each other on the back for repeatedly doing the opposite of what they claim to want: to lose weight and get healthy. I'm NOT talking about learning and growing, finding our own key, the whole process we all must go through. I AM talking about the "but" people. Those that whine over and over and over and OVER about the same thing, and when offered suggestions, ideas or advice, always respond with "yes BUT". That might be a clue they aren't ready to change. I recognize it ... because I used to BE one of them. I don't wanna be that way any more... I want to learn and change.

I am stubbornly determined to succeed. To claim 2012 as MY YEAR. To make amazing, astounding, fantastic and COLLOSAL progress this year! 

I am stubbornly going to be DEAF to the Naysayers and Eyebrow Raisers that think if you reach up for a huge goal you must be either stupid, arrogant, or setting yourself up for a huge, humbling and disappointing failure.

Why?? 

Why must excitement and determination be equated with cockiness?

 Why are we afraid to declare our intentions of victory with certainty?

 Why are we scared to stick our necks out, boldly and with passion?

I'll tell you why: because we are gauging our chances of success by our PAST failures. 

I am stubbornly refusing to do that any longer. My past failures are no longer the yardstick by which I am measuring my future. I am breaking that sucker in half... SNAP!

Sure, I've made a lot of mistakes in my past efforts. But I've also done some stuff right. So I am drawing upon THOSE victories. I am building a New History from them. I've found a lot of things that DO work for me, and will use them as my tools. Successful things about exercise, nutrition, and the mental stuff. Those make up my NEW yardstick.

I am going to be STUBBORN in 2012 

And that's a good thing

PS: If  you missed my poll on Sunday, I'd love it if you did a quick skim of that post, HERE, and left a comment with your suggestion. I'm going to tally and submit them soon. Thanks!

From Dr Phil's book: "That's your priority. You must hold yourself to a higher standard now. You cannot be wishy washy."

My verse for today: "But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."

My quote for today: "When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves." --Viktor Frankl

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 869

DAY 453 Choosing My Identity on Toon Tuesday

Hi there, Journal & Friends,

I wrote this post, but had decided to just skip posting it, cuz I didn't "feel" like it, and felt like a phony... then I read Anne's post at Carb Tripper (HERE).

She drew a hilarious series of cartoons (on her cell phone!) that snuck in a serious message. It was about the 3 Pigs--weight loss version. And here is the line that hooked me: "Her MO was strong... she made time for working out - even on days she didn't "feel" like it."

So, whether or not I "feel" like it, I am doing this, too. I will not curl up in a ball and withdraw. I will go on. Here then, is the post I was going to dump, because I didn't "feel" like it. Instead, I "choose" it.

I am a weight loss Warrior.

Unapologetically. 

Unequivocally. 

Unreservedly.

I remember a time in my life when I didn't like fighter-type analogies. Words like battle, struggle, fight, warrior, defender, army, war, weapons...  At church it got so I didn't even want to join in when they sang songs about being the army of God, or fighting the good fight, battling the enemy,  etc.

Anything that smacked of struggle and strife... nope, I'm outta here. 

I just wanted Peace and Quiet. 

I wanted Calm and Nicey-Nice. 

I wanted everything all Happy Happy.

And that's why I ran away from any negative emotions, right into the arms of Food. I was trying to escape the turmoil of the negative. 

Like I mentioned in a recent post, I wasn't taught HOW to deal with the negatives. We didn't talk them out. We weren't taught coping strategies. We got in trouble for crying. We were told to shut up. "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

So I learned my lesson well. I stuffed my face, instead of facing my stuff. Because I didn't know HOW to deal with it, to process it, to bring about healing.

In the last few years I have learned a lot. That in order to feel GOOD, I must face the bad. I cannot sweep it under the carpet, and then wonder later why I keep tripping over this huge lump under the rug. Problems don't get better by inattention!

I have learned that the peace I sought comes at a cost. My pastor once said a working definition of Peace was this:

Peace is a by-product of things set in order.

I'm not talking about the gift of Peace, from the Prince of Peace... the free gift from God. I AM talking about my responsibility to deal with life in a mature way, not like a spoiled child who wants instant gratification... who wants to just play and have fun and not deal with the tough stuff.

The price for me to "get happy" was to have the courage to face life, to deal with my stuff, and resolve it, not run away from it.

If your home was under attack, would you defend it?

If someone you loved was being assaulted, would you fight for them?

If your child was being dragged off into the bushes by a mountain lion, would you turn into a raging Warrior on their behalf??

Well guess what? My journey to health is finally that important to me! And I will defend it against ALL assaults, from whatever source. 

From negative opinions... from sabotuers... from faulty theories... from my own squirrelly thinking. Even... dare I say it?? Other bloggers who are critical of this kind of terminology, who feel above it, more enlightened, more at-one-with-universe-and-all-the-peaceful-little-bunnies-and-butterflies-and-happy-little-trees... whew!

I am unapologetically a 

Weight Loss Warrior. 

And I fight for my own peace, my own health, my own happy and healthy future. I do this most days with joy, with a smile, with excitement for life right now, and with growing anticipation for what is to come.

I say do what works for you. Do it YOUR way. For me, I can't be passive any more. I can't be wishy-washy or namby-pamby. That got me NO where in the past. 

I had to get FEISTY! I had to be willing to go on the offense, to get spunky!

There is a time for all things. 

There is a time to fight for what is important. 

And this is my time.

On to victory!!

From Dr Phil's book: "Don't be deterred from achieving your weight loss goals just because somebody else is too afraid or unmotivated to go after their own."

My verse for today: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

My quote for today: "The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses--behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights." --Muhammad Ali

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 332 Defend Your Journey!

Hello Journal & Friends,

How embarrassing! How utterly frustrating!

For days I've been spouting off all about this great new challenge... Deb's  Freedom Challenge. And I was sooo excited to get started... all charged up, rearing to go.

Day One, Monday went fantabulous! I made myself a little chart, and as silly as it sounds, I got such a kick out of X-ing off stuff from that list as I accomplished them.

Day Two, Tuesday, was a TOTAL BUST! I am not exaggerating... it was ridiculous. 

It was FRUSTRATING! 

And... if I'm honest with you, I am embarrassed. Because while I would like to say it was outside my control, I still had choices.

Tuesday was He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless's day off this week. And right before bedtime on Monday night, he innocently said he needed my help on Tuesday running the machine that blows insulation into the attic. He can't be in two places at once, so would I be the Switch Master. He had to return the rented machine that same day. My help would save him many, many trips up and down the ladder into the attic.

"Sure, Honey, I'd be happy to help you. What time?"

"6 am, before it gets too hot in the attic."

"WHAT???!!!!"

Okay, I wasn't quite that brief in my response.

You have to understand... I have been a night owl all my life. For reasons too long to go into right now, I decided to work on getting up earlier. I have worked it consistently back to getting up at 8:00 am, and was sooo proud of myself for going to bed on time fairly often recently. My bedtime right now is Midnite.

Getting shorted by 2 hours was no big deal in my "youth". But now, it ruins the day. Physical pain multiplies, and I drag all day, and yes, I did allow it to affect my attitude. Little Miss Sunshine turned into the Wicked Witch of the West. I tried, really I did. But... okay, enough excuses.

Bottomline, Tuesday I did NOT do well on my goals for the Challenge:

1. I did my Bible reading... reluctantly. 

2. I went over my calorie budget of 1600 by about 200 calories.

3. I only got 5 1/2 hours sleep (this is the only one that I felt I couldn't change).

4. There were 3 things to do on my Exercise list; I did one.

5. I drank water/tea, but didn't keep track, so not sure if I drank it all.

6. Feelings: all over the place! Frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, discouraged, annoyed..but definitely not proud of myself.

What is the take-away for me from that whole fiasco??

Never give up. Never surrender!

(From Galaxy Quest)

It's so easy to let a stumble sidetrack us, if we let it.

But I had to choose between making excuses, and blaming Him-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless for sabotaging my day (by giving me no advance warning so I could plan for this)... and accepting that I DID have a choice as to attitude. 

I could have done better. It was a choice.

So today, I am defending my journey from all saboteurs... even from myself! 

I can get right back into the swing of it... let go of yesterday and get ON with it. Admit that I goofed up and made lazy choices full of self-pity and frustration. And learn from it!

Today will be a GOOD DAY!

From Dr Phil's book: "Challenge your faulty thinking."

My verse for today: "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord."

My quote for today: "I hated every minute of training, but I said, Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." --Muhammad Ali

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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