Jan 11th... Learning to Love this Process

Today I read a fascinating article by writer James Clear. He told the story of a German philosophy professor who had moved to Japan in the 1920's to learn Kyudo, which is the Japanese martial art of archery. 

The German man, Eugen Herrigel, also eventually learned Zanshin: a state of relaxed alertness. 

"Zanshin is being constantly aware of your body, mind, and surroundings without stressing yourself. It is an effortless vigilance."

In our own lives, this means "choosing to live your life intentionally and acting with purpose rather than mindlessly falling victim to whatever comes your way."

I LOVED that I read this article this morning! I had just finished trying to hammer out a new, simplified daily schedule. I need more hours in the day! I have goals and dreams, yet need to fulfill the daily practical chores and commitments. And for health's sake, that must include time for Spirituality, Exercise, Rest and a healthy Food Plan.

Later in this article (which I hope you'll read in full HERE) James Clear writes: 

"The point is not to worry about hitting the target. The point is to fall in love with the boredom of doing the work  and embrace each piece of the process. The point is to take that moment of zanshin, that moment of complete awareness and focus, and carry it with you everywhere in life."

For me, I would re-word one part this way: To fall in love with the process. His sentence about that struck me hard. I absolutely LOVE the process of imagining, planning, researching and creating a new painting. Love it!

Yet, have I applied that to the PROCESS of getting healthy?? Uh, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I usually have the final goal in mind! As in... lose this weight, get all health-i-fied, and get on with the rest of my life!

In fact I was just complaining this very morning to MyGuy that I needed to simplify. It's just getting too darn complicated! 

In addition to tracking calories, I was trying to keep up with grams of protein, carbs and fat; exercise; supplements; prescriptions; doctors appointments; support group meetings; and now per the doctors, the micrograms of Vitamin K in every bite, and to eat those same micrograms each day. Yeesh!! Tooooo much!

Ummmm.... I need to change my attitude.

I plan to re-read this article, and see how I can do that. How I can apply "effortless vigilance" - Zanshin -  to this process of gaining Health.

My book quote for today: "People don't fall off track because they do the wrong exercises at the gym. They fall off track because they stop going, just for a day or two, and then never go back. I've worked on this with thousands of patients, and it's the habit and routine of exercise that leads to success." --Younger Next Year for Women, by Crowley & Lodge

My verse for today: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" from Isaiah 43

Enjoy the journey... which I finally realize means to fall in love with the process!!!!

Retta

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DEC 22nd We Are Loved & We Are Worth It

Hello Journal & Friends,

I'm enjoying the holidays this year... in a sort of gentle way. It feels peaceful and thankful. 

Jim put up our white icicle lights this year, adding several large green wreaths with huge red bows. The house looks so festive and pretty! It always touches me when he does this... it's a lot of work. If he had his way, he wouldn't bother. But, he does it solely because he knows how much I love it. I don't take that for granted... it's a gift to me!

I started my sugarfree/glutenfree gingerbread men this morning... the dough is in the fridge "resting", and I'll finish them later today. They'll be my dessert contribution at a family Christmas Eve dinner.

I was trying to put my finger on why I'm feeling so peaceful this holiday season. Aside from staying away from crazy crowds of shoppers ;-) I think it's because I am feeling "worth it". 

• Choosing to make the extra effort to bake fun holiday stuff that is On Plan, because my health is worth it. 

• Choosing to tell the hostess of the dinner we'll be going to that I don't want to offend anyone, but will NOT be eating anything with sugar or flour, and offering to bring something... because I am respecting my own needs and putting my health first, above "politeness". And she was totally gracious!

• Choosing to pass on things I used to abuse, like store bought egg nog (which is full of sugar and chemicals) because I would rather lose weight and get healthy than repeat past poor choices. And I do mean reeeaaally poor choices... we'd get a half gallon of the stuff and Jim was lucky if he got one serving. Guess who drank the rest?!!  Now, I would rather take care of myself than go for that immediate gratification that comes back later to bite me in the you-know-where! It's just not worth it anymore. I found a recipe online for Almond Milk Eggnog from Carolyn Ketchum HERE  that I'm going to try instead. And I'm more than fine with that choice... in fact, it makes me smile.

• Choosing to continue to work on the mental aspect of this journey. I did my homework so have the majority of the nutritional stuff worked out, with a little fine tuning to do yet. But I am still 100% convinced that long-term success lies in the area of mental toughness. I have a spiritual foundation that gives me a solid footing. But after that, I know it's been my squirrelly thinking in the past that derailed me. So, I continue to focus on that aspect. More to come on that in a few days. :-)

My Christmas gift to myself: Choosing to believe I am worth it. I want to respect myself. To make loving choices that will help create my healthy future.

And in the long run, it also turns out to be a gift to those I care about, since I am better able to live, love and give if I'm healthy and strong.

Do I ever struggle? Of course. Just last night I started to go over my limit. I had to laugh when I remembered Chris's post  about how to tell if you're really hungry... would you eat radishes or cabbage?? Uh... no! Not THAT hungry. Then stop. Do you want to lose the weight or eat that? Uh... I want to lose the weight. Then stop. 

I'm going to join the trend in taking a Christmas mini-vacation from blogging. 

So I hope all of you have a most WONDERFUL Christmas, or Hanukkah or other holy days you celebrate. 

Me... I'm celebrating the birth of the Christ child who grew up to be the Savior. And it was all because of Love. So God's gift to me and to you at Christmas is Love.

See ya in a few days!

Enjoying the Journey during the Holidays,

Loretta

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PS: Joey is doing great! The vet's office said to try to keep her calm so she won't tear out her stitches... then laughed and said "good luck with that" when they remembered she was a Mini-Schnauzer, LOL! Joey says Thank You for the well wishes. 

DAY 857

DEC 7th Playing in the Kitchen, Yet Still On Plan

Hi Journal & Friends,

I'm enjoying putting out the Christmas decorations and seeing the twinkling lights. And yesterday I experienced my very first time EVAH making chocolate candies in cute little molds. Sugar free, of course. You can stop reading here, if you don't want to see food pics... there are days when I don't wanna see any either, so I'll understand. ;-)

To be honest (well, why have a blog if I'm not going to be honest, right?) I don't understand people who have the "martyr mindset", who think that just because they are trying to go from fat to fit and eat all healthified, that they can't eat the really IMPORTANT foods in life... like chocolate! mwa ha ha ha ha. 

Really, there isn't a holiday I can think of that most of the food can't be tweaked in some way, at least enough so that we can participate in traditions we cherish, and still stay on our chosen plans. Lest I forget, I put it in my own sidebar, where it can smack me on the forehead whenever needed: No Excuses! ;-)

Okay, so here's my first chocolate candy batch, still in the mold. That's the oh-so-cool Wilton chocolate melter in the background. I first heard about it from Lisa at Sugar-Free Low Carb Recipes blog. This was my first time trying it out, and I loved it.

 

And here they are, just pushed out of my nifty silicone mold. I like this mold cuz it has a variety of cute little shapes, and they are small enough to be a very moderate portion.

And finally, here they are all prettified on a plate. The light chunks are chopped macadamia nuts, and the peeking red bits in the center chocolates are freeze dried sugar free cherries that I got from NutsOnline, here.  Mmmmmm...

I'm definitely not a trained cook, and MOST definitely a newbie at making my own chocolate. Most of them didn't have that pretty shiny finish. So, nope, not gonna share a recipe. I kind of tweaked a couple together, and while the taste was very nice, the texture wasn't silky smooth. Was sort of powdery or dry, or something. Gotta work on that. I was going for almost a milk chocolate, and these are most decidedly very dark chocolate!

Jim made his famous Eggnog Cheesecake (also sugar free) for the holidays, and I'm dinking around with little chocolates. And I'm still on plan!! Who'd a thunk it! 

My next Tradition Tweak is to change our habit of getting a Dairy Queen blizzard when we drive around seeing the Christmas lights. I'm going to make our OWN healthy and sugar free blizzard in my handy dandy Vita Mix blender, and take them with us. A cold blizzard drink in the middle of winter... yeah, we're weird. And yes, we sing Christmas carols off key as we drive around and ooh and ahh at the lights.

Anyone doing any fun stuff for the holidays??

Ha ha ha... I just re-read this post, and it sounds like I am into kitchen gadgets. I suppose I am now! I have more gadgets and specialty pans now than I have room for! :-O

That's better than in years past, when I was into cruising through several fast food joints, and bringing some from each joint home to devour all by myself in secrecy. I'd stuff it in until I ached, and hated myself for doing so... then cried myself to sleep, as I vowed never to do it again... only to do it again, and again, and again. I'm SO grateful those days are a thing of the past!! (... ghosts of Christmas past... must have Dickens on the brain...)

So, I'll take innocent kitchen gadgets over that any day of the week! :-D

From Dr Phil's book: "You can't eat what's not there."

My verse for today: "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

My quote for today: "Sometimes it is not good enough to do your best; you have to do what's required." --Winston Churchill

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

PS: Sorry for the messed up font sizes. Blogger is acting stupid today, and no matter what I did, it just won't work right. Oh well... in the grand scheme of things, it's no biggee.

DAY 842

AUG 23rd Dolphins Made Me Smile

Hi Journal & Friends,

I just watched THE most amazing little video! It gave me such a huge smile. It was about dolphins doing something that made me sit here, wide eyed, saying Wow, how cool! 

I've been intrigued by dolphins for a long time, and even featured them in a painting that I've shared here before:

(can click to enlarge)

It's not a long video, and TOTALLY worth your time, if you'd like a big smile for the day. Enjoy!

Here is the LINK to the dolphins... prepare to be impressed, LOL!

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 737

JULY 22 The Product Review & The Hissy Fit

Howdy Journal & Friends,

For my Friday Favorites, I'd like to have some fun with a real, honest to goodness Product Review!! Oh, and a recipe I made up all on very own! I'm not a fancy schmancy cook or anything, but when I got wind of a new natural sweetener, I thought it would be a fun break from all this "serious" weight loss business to dink around with it. :-)

Recently, Lisa at 24/7 Low Carb Diner shared a recipe she created  (now, she IS a good cook!) using this new natural sweetener, called Z Sweet. It's made from stevia and erythritol, neither of which messes with blood sugar levels. Lisa gave a link to a sample. I wrote. I received said sample... yay!!

By the way, Lisa has been posting some wonderful summer recipes, all sugar free and low carb...like Orange Mint Iced Tea, Sparkling Lemonade, and Salad Sundae. 

In fact, I liked it so much, I bought MORE Z Sweet for myself, from Netrition (they have a great low carb section, and usually the best prices on the interwebs).  

First the low down on Z Sweet (Disclaimer: they sent me some samples for free, but this is MY honest opinion):

•  I liked it! Straight erythritol has a sort of cooling effect in the mouth, kinda like mint. I don't like mint.  But combined with the stevia, Z Sweet didn't affect me that way. Thumbs up.

•  It dissolved just fine in my batter. I used the granular, and it wasn't gritty or anything like that.

•  It's not cheap, but since I don't eat a LOT of baked desserts anymore, that's not a problem. I spend less NOW than I did before when buying junk food. And Netrition has good prices. Don't know if you can find it locally or not. I didn't try.

•  They offer Z Sweet in bulk granular, in little travel packets, and powdered. I really LIKE having the powdered... I have several recipes where that's the best version.

•  You can use it just like sugar, measure for measure, so no annoying converting. And we all know Loretta doesn't like to be "annoyed". Okay, that's an inside joke... you have read my last post to get it...sorry 'bout dat.

•  Did I mention zero calories, zero glycemic effect, and it doesn't promote tooth decay like sugar does?? Yep. All true. Oh, and for us low carbers... the package says less than 4 grams carbs per 1 teaspoon. But remember, erythritol isn't metabolized in our system like other sugar alcohols. AND... at least for me, doesn't have those dreaded rooty tooty gastrointestinal side-effects like maltitol and sorbitol does. :-D

Bottomline: Good stuff in my opinion. I'll be buying it again. :-)

And of course, I drafted MyGuy as the guinea pig...no, make that Test Pilot, to taste my creation, LoCarb HiProtein Pancakes. First, I'll show you the photos... gotta have photos, right? 

The verdict: MyGuy liked it!! 

It is now officially Husband Tested.

Okay, the recipe for Rettakat's LoCarb HiProtein Pancakes was SUPPOSED to be given here. Uh huh... remember that famous novel that refers to the "best laid plans of mice and men"?? 

I spent over 2 HOURS searching all over for my recipe!! Gone. Disappeared. Poof! I was sooo frustrated, I was tempted to throw a hissy fit!!! 

But, today I sound all mature and calm, ha ha ha... can't change it. I worked hard to perfect my little pancakes, and am soooo annoyed that if I want the recipe, I have to do it all over again. Well, sorry, not in the mood! 

So if anyone out there wants to get creative... I DO remember it had: eggs, ricotta cheese, whey protein powder, almond flour, oat bran, baking powder, sugar free daVinci syrup, chia seeds, the Z Sweet... and I used coconut oil in the pan. :-}

This must be proof I am NOT destined to be a fancy schmancy cook. Better go visit Lisa for that. :-) 

From Dr Phil's book: "Your food plan sustains your commitment in the absence of emotional energy."

My verse for today: "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

My quote for today: "Life is short and there will always be dirty dishes, so let's dance."  --James Howe

Enjoy the Journey and avoid hissy fits,

Loretta

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DAY 705

JUNE 19th Day of Rest & Favorite Photos... New Life!

Hello Journal & Friends,

Jim works at a small community hospital in Ashland, Oregon. All along one of the buildings, outside the patient windows, is a low block wall to provide a sound barrier from the parking lot, and some privacy. And inside that wall are little trees, lush greenery, flowers... a nice oasis for the patients to see.

Well, much to everyone's delight, there is now something else to see. Just a few days ago a doe came down from the nearby hills, and decided that the long secluded nook would make a safe haven in which to have her babies!! And she has stayed, and her little fawns are local celebrities! You see, she HAD TRIPLETS!! 

Here are the photos Jim took just a couple of days ago. He couldn't get a photo with all 3 babies together at once... Mama had them hidden among the foliage in different spots (all together now... Awwwww). So the pics you see below will not be of the same baby.

Everyone is protective of her and her babies, and no one gets close. There is plenty for her to eat in this little haven, and they are all safe in there.

I don't know why this touches me so much... maybe it's because inside those hospital windows, there might be such sorrow and pain going on. Yet right outside, the joy and hope of new life is gently going along, just doing it's best. The innocence of the fawns... the Mama deer trusting they will be safe there...

I hope you enjoy them as much as I have (can click any to enlarge).

At peace... under the protection of angels.

Enjoying the journey of these little creatures,

Loretta

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JUNE 14th Strawberries, Sharks & Tears of Joy

Hello Journal & Friends,

For some of you, being told you needed a Size 3X dress would bring on tears of horror!! 

But for me... I had tears of joy. Yesterday was Jim's day off, and we went shopping and goofing off together. I got all dressed up and tried on a new lavendar dress, to see if it fit yet. YES!! It was a 3X. 

I've been buying clothing occasionally on clearance, but always in sizes too small for me yet. And I got this one a couple of months ago. It's been 26 YEARS since I've been able to wear a 3X!! When I was 460 pounds, I could barely squeeze into the largest 6X's that the Lane Bryant catalog sold. So... this is extremely encouraging to me.

While we were at WalMart, I spurged on some silly party plates to eat my lunches on.

For lunch today Tinkerbell and I had a small piece of the sugar free pie we also bought there.

And we couldn't forget Joey! Here is her new squeaky toy, which she loves:

We also picked strawberries yesterday...our barrel planter is overflowing with ripe strawberries, finally. Yay!

You know how you work hard, and wait, and expect results from your efforts...yet sometimes those results are not always exactly what you expected?? Hmmmm...

It's been a whole month since I started my Secret September Challenge. Wow... and we have both benefited so much! We've hit and overcome that "wall", where the honeymoon phase is over and the routine sets in. 

We've discovered some weaknesses we each need to work on, and I've had some new realizations that I think are going to help me go forward and make progress.

One of them is that my perceptions are skewed. REALLY SKEWED. Remember, I started up there pretty high, at 460 pounds. And when you are that overweight so long, I think it messes with your head... at least it did for me. 

What *I* think is normal, is not. 

What *I* perceive as bigger or smaller, is not.

What *I* feel is more or is less, is not the same as other people.

A perfect example: my new lavendar dress. I am sooo excited to be "down" to a 3X. Yet most of you would be aghast if you found yourself in a 3X. It's all in the perceptions. 

And... I think that's been working against me. 

Both my Secret Challenge partner and I have been having trouble ratcheting down the calories. And I finally realized just recently it's because, TO ME, the 1600 I was aiming for SEEMED VERY SMALL. But that was because I was--without realizing it--comparing it to what I USED to eat.

What I USED to eat was abnormal, not normal. Okay... intellectually, that's obvious. But I'm talking here about feelings... senses... perceptions... emotional reactions, whatever you call it.

I was using an ABNORMAL YARDSTICK as my comparison. I need to change my perceptions. To compare to a healthy, normal, moderate amount. 

I have the same trouble with portion sizes. A "normal" portion seems mighty tiny when I am hungry!! Yet invariably afterwards I am satisfied. But beforehand, it didn't "look" like very much. Again, I was comparing to the amounts I USED to eat. Skewed perceptions.

I know this will take time... to get so used to a new thing that it becomes my New Normal. But that's what I'm working on. Visualizing, accepting, enjoying, embracing and celebrating a Healthy New Normal. 

From Dr Phil's book: "Having specific, carefully mapped out, vividly envisioned goals is an absolute requirement for success."

My verse for today: "...put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love."

My quote for today: "If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell." --Lance Armstrong

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 669