Wednesday, April 7, 2010

DAY 241 Another Round of Honest Scrap Part 6

Hi Journal & Friends,

I'lll keep pecking away at this Honest Scrap award, given to me

Today's is: 
6. The Best Moment of Your Life 
(apart from having your children or getting married)
I think I've procrastinated doing this one because of the memories it stirred up. I'm not sure I'd call it the "best moment"... maybe instead, the "most healing moment".
My Mom was ill, and came to live next door so we could help care for her. It really was an honor, a labor of love. But Momma didn't WANT to need to be taken care of... she was independent, and only came because my step-dad died, and she couldn't live alone, so far away.
She was upset that he "got to go first". She would say "it wasn't supposed to be this way." It was so terribly hard on her... she loved the Lord with all her heart, and struggled to accept that this was the way it was.
She tried to be strong, and "protect" us... but we loved her and wanted to help carry her burden. That is what love does.
I was the closest "target" for her frustration, and she didn't realize how often she hurt me. This was my first experience caring for someone who was dying, and it took me a long time to forgive myself for the mistakes I made, and let go of regrets.  She was my Best Friend... and I was losing her. It was a long, hard 2 years.
But I'll never forget one of the last coherent things that Momma said... she looked me right in the eyes and said: "I love you sooo much."  
Right there, in that instant, those words healed my broken heart... all the pain, disappointment, hurtful words, confusion, guilt... they dissolved, and the healing process started... healed by Love.

Daughter of Mary
1922 - 2004
(can click on pics to enlarge)


Leslie said...

Beautiful post Loretta. I'm glad that your mom had that clarity at the end to let you know how much she loved you.

I took care of my mom when she was dying, though it was for a much shorter time...about 6 weeks. She had cancer, and I ended up taking a leave of absence from work to care for her. Very difficult, but I don't regret one second of the experience.

Thanks for sharing your memories with us.

Karen@StrictlySimpleStyle said...

You are very blessed to have had that moment. Some people go through their entire lives never hearing those words from a parent.

Anonymous said...

Regardless of one's age, the parental relationship remains just that: a relationship between a parent and a child. I'm so glad you got to hear your mom say that she loved her little girl. Deb

M Pax said...

A beautiful and powerful story. Thank you for sharing it and your heart. :) <3

Ms. PJ Geek said...

That's a moment to remember always.

cmoursler said...

ah, what she meant to say even when she was too hurt to say what she meant.
That is what I wanted from people...something real and special to their hearts.
Awesomness...absolutely beautiful.

The Brown Recluse said...

Such a heart warming, touching post. The last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. And I love what cmoursler said, "what she meant to say even when she was too hurt to say what she meant."
I always enjoy visiting here.

that TOPS lady said...

aaawwwww. I wish I had the right words to say---but I can't figure out how to express how this post made me feel. Makes me want to tell people I love them, though.

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