DAY 36 of ReStart, Monday Sept 14, 09
Good Morning Journal,
I had just finished making MyGuy's two meals to take to work with him today...he was finally out the door and the house was quiet again. I felt sleepy, glum, and I wanted my coffee!
Thought I would take a quick peek online, and see what's up...and I just finished reading an entry from Shelli's blog, at http://shellibelly.com/
Thank you Shelli! It was very encouraging to suddenly see a thing from someone else's point of view. She was talking about being kind to ourselves, and not having to have it all figured out ahead of time...of making the good choices one meal at a time.
What she said struck me because my morning was feeling very "glum", and it wasn't just because I didn't have my cup-o-joe yet. I wasn't even tuned in to it, was just accepting it, not aware, walking around on auto-pilot.
After reading Shelli's thoughts, I realized I was doing the very thing she described: not being kind to myself. I was beating myself up for only losing 1 pound this last week. I had allowed "upward portion control creep" to happen.
If I am honest, I think part of me was scared to look too closely, because in the past I would do well for a season, then just sort of lose focus, and the "creep" thing would happen. Yeah, right...like ignoring it would make it go away! I need to have the courage to look more closely, to not be afraid of or embarrassed by my feelings. They are clues!
So! It is trying to happen, the "creep" thing...I acknowledge it...I am facing it...and I do not accept it! I will not beat myself up for not being perfect. I will use the information to make a course correction, to be more aware, to make better choices, and to learn from it. I have not lost my way...I just need to pay better attention and not stray off the path. To stay aware.
The journey continues...
From Dr Phil's book: "There is strength and power in support."
My verse for today: " He will keep you strong to the end."
My quote for today: "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." --C.S. Lewis
Enjoy the Journey,