Hi Journal & Friends,
This (too long) post was prompted by three things:
One: a comment I read on another blog a while ago
Two: a specific comment that was left on MY blog a while ago
Three: a few other comments left on my blog a while ago
In the first case, the Commenter seemed to dislike blogs that were usually cheerful, positive, upbeat... the pom-pom waving bloggers. She also called this happy blogger "self-righteous and holier than thou", if I recall correctly. THEN, she goes on to gloat over how Little Miss Perfect was going through a struggle, and was saying that she "was only human."
It's unrealistic to think we will "click" with all people... sometimes we just aren't on the same wavelength, and that's okay. But to sound happy that another person is struggling???!! Methinks that says more about the Commenter than the Commentee.
In the second case, someone left me a nice comment, and part of it was encouraging me to stay true to my purpose for blogging. BUT... then SHE included in that purpose things that were not part of MY purpose. In summary, I was to blurt out whatever I wanted, and not care who was reading or how they were being affected. I am positive her intention was well-meant, but... she doesn't understand me.
In the third case, several people had left very supportive and encouraging comments... yet they got me a little worried that I was being misunderstood. I definitely do NOT have it all together, I am still learning. I don't have all the answers, I am still refining my methods and strategies... but I try to resolve my junk BEFORE I sit down to post. It's more fun that way for me! Yep, that's totally selfish! ha ha ha
Anyway, all that got me thinking, and my conclusion was:
We need to be careful and
not put anyone on a pedestal.
We all have feet of clay.
But it would be unfair to make them into my weight loss "superheroes", and expect them to live up to that kind of pressure. I guarantee you, they are human and have bad breath in the morning just like the rest of us, LOL!!
People blog for all kinds of reasons, even within the "weight loss" realm. I have been exhorted at times to blog a certain way by people who haven't read enough of my blog to understand MY purpose (which by the way, is stated in the sidebar under my photograph).They were just trying to be helpful, so it's all good.
We all blog with different intentions:
- Some use it to think out loud, write uncensored, say whatever about whomever. They might be anonymous, and therefore feel more free to "let it fly".
- Some use it as a food record, exercise record, water intake record, etc.
- Some use it as a general record of their journey in wt loss, their weigh-ins, what they learn along the way, what they are going through and what is important to them.
- Some use it to vent, to get out all the stressful emotions that they used to stuff down and numb with food... a sort of stress-relief.
- Some use it as a kind of therapy, to help them get in touch with what they are really thinking and feeling, and sort out ideas and emotions.
- Some use it as a kind of diary of their daily life, and their wt loss journey, letting friends know what each was like.
- And some, probably most, are a combination of several of the above.
I don't think there is a thing wrong with any of these!
What I have noticed, however, from comments around blogland, is the natural tendency to think OUR way is THE way, and to forget that the blog you are reading might not have the same purpose that YOU do. Hey, I've been guilty of that too. Yeah, I go nutso when I read a woman who claims to be a "Christian" trashing her husband for all the world to read for eternity!!!
What does all this have to do with weight loss?? A lot... I am an emotional eater. In the past I allowed how I feel to drive me to eat, rather than deal with the feelings. (Well okay, even now occasionally... but I'm definitely better!)
I guess I am being selfish on this journey... I plain ol' don't want the stress of having to live up to some big reputation for having it all together.
Honestly, it brings out the fear in me, it reminds me of how many times in my past I have lost weight only to fall on my face and regain it. I never want to get so puffed up and proud of myself and overly confident, that I forget from where I came, and how hard the struggle was... that would be the kiss of death.
- I do NOT write my blog using the uncensored, think out loud method.
- I do NOT write about the minutia of my daily life... if it bores ME, think what it would do to you... you would fall over dead from boredom, and I would be arrested for 'blogicide'.
- I do NOT write my blog to vent and rant. I CARE not to hurt people... once a bell is rung, it cannot be un-rung. Later, when I am not angry or hurt, I can never take back whatever I have sent out into the blogosphereinterwebs.
- I do NOT use it to record every morsel of food or drop of water... again, they would have to bury me because of D.T.B (bored to death).
So... why do I write what I write? I wrote about that once before (HERE).
In a nutshell, I write what I need to keep me focused, going and successful. But I do NOT come first to my blog. I work out my problems first, THEN I come to my blog. That's just me.
We all have a foundation for our lives. For me, I believe in a loving God that lets me bend His ear whenever I need or want to... Who helps me figure stuff out, sending answers to some of my questions.
I take time to THINK before I blog
To read and study
To ask myself questions
To try to be honest with myself
To be open and teachable
To be willing to see if I need course corrections
And there have been many course corrections on this journey! It helps to have a foundation for your life...you have a place to go when things get confusing, a shelter in the storm. Mine is traditional... God, Bible, Jesus. It's a love-relationship thing, not some law-condemnation thing.
Bottomline, I never gave up and quit because I felt like God never gave up on me.
That has always been encouraging to me, like God was sitting in the bleachers, leading the cheers for me....
Gimme an L, gimme an O, gimme an R, gimme an E.....
Sounds goofy, I know! But He is FOR me, not AGAINST me, and that makes me feel loved instead of judged. Don't misunderstand... He is God, the center, not me. I'm just saying, He has revealed this whole other side that I missed out on before. The side of the loving Father.
Anyway, if it sounds like I am little-miss-perfect-got-it-all-figured-out, uh no... it's just that I do my questioning and crying and head shaking BEFORE I blog.
This is not a "right way" to do it. It just works for ME. I find it more productive for me... it crystalizes all those swirling thoughts and emotions, and distills them down into little life lessons that are actually useful for me... liveable stuff, useable stuff, where the rubber meets the road stuff.
If it's a nice theory but you can't USE it, what good is it??
Too long... stop! ;-)
From Dr Phil's book: "This is about you, your weight, and your health; it is not about them."
My verse for today: "Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."
My quote for today: "Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. Oh! The places you'll go!" --Dr Seuss (Oh, The Places You'll Go!)
Enjoy the Journey,