Monday, February 15, 2010

DAY 190 Week in Review & It's Worth It

Hello Journal & Friends!

What a week! I think it has been the hardest since I started my blog.

I was thinking last night about all of my pontificating on Dayne's question (at Coach Your Mind)  of how we respond to pressure. I actually did 4 posts on it. In case anyone missed it and is interested, it starts HERE, with links to all 4 posts at the bottom.

In the four posts I wrote on this topic, I worked my way through the subject, and finally concluded that I wanted my response to be one of seeing pressure as OPPORTUNITY. An opportunity to respond with Strength, Achievement, and Spunk.

It's pretty ironic that this last week is when I got the news that they want me to come in tomorrow for that biopsy. I mean, come on, right on the heels of all this "thinking"??!!

It was a rough week, emotionally. And I wanted to EAT... boy did I ever. I came perilously close to the edge several times. It's unnerving to see how easily it can call you back, with a siren song that is very convincing.

So... this really WAS an opportunity to see what I really believed. 

We ACT on what we believe. 

We find out how strong our commitment really is... and if we really mean it when we say "I will let NOTHING--no person, event or circumstance--steal this journey from me."

Is it easy?? Not on your life.

Is it worth it?? Absolutely.

Last week, I kept hearing in my head what Sean Anderson has said over and over:


"You have to defend your journey from anything and everything that might try to derail it. You have to protect it from yourself."

"Cling tight to those motivating thoughts, defend your journey like your life depends on it, in most cases it does."

"Decide that emotion, no circumstance, no person, place or thing is allowed to steal this away from you. I deserve this success. You deserve this success. It's too important my friend." 

"One of the biggest elements is self honesty. This means calling yourself on all those excuses and rationalizations that we tell ourselves in order to feel better about bad choices. Honesty, 100%---at all times."


Last week.. heck, even last night!... I wanted to use this cancer scare as an excuse to "pamper myself". After all, who would dare call me out on it, right??!! Ha ha ha... sometimes the best thing a friend can do is hold up a mirror and tell it like it is. Friends, whenever I get squirrelly, please don't hesitate to straighten me out!! I really do want to do like Sean says... be totally honest with myself.

On the new season of Ruby last night, they said the definition of "denial" was not knowing that you are lying to yourself. So that is why I officially give permission for any of my friends here to spout off at me, in case you feel I am ever in denial!! :-)

If you haven't read Sean's blog, I highly recommend it (HERE). 

From Dr Phil's book: "Get real with yourself. When conflict arises... don't panic and seek solace in food. I have the power to choose."

My verse for today: "My soul finds rest in God alone."

My quote for today: "You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future."

Enjoy the Journey,



Leslie said...

Hi Loretta,

I've been away from the computer for a few days so will have to go back and read about your needing a biopsy. I've been through that with my thyroid, and it ended up being 9 months before it was entirely resolved. I had 3 biopsies - very unnerving, despite being assured by my doc that she truly believed all was well. Hugs and prayers for you.

Thank you for posting those quotes from Sean's blog. They are amazing and true - and very inspiring. I might print them and hang them in places I need to bump into their wisdom, like the refrigerator door and the pantry.

I watched Ruby last night too - glad they're talking about the 12 steps. They can be good tools.

My thoughts and prayers are with you! I'm going to read your last few posts I missed right now.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Loretta!

Love this post. You're right, of course, when denial is really denial--we don't KNOW we're lying to ourselves.

I follow a blog in which the author (who has almost 140 more pounds to lose) bakes cookies, cakes, bread or other treats on an almost daily basis along with full meals for lunch and dinner--all the while saying that she needs to cook like that to feed her family. Her family is one overweight husband and a 3 year old child. My heart aches for her. She's trying so hard, but doesn't see that she's shooting herself in the foot.

Anyone reading my blog could probably give equally obvious examples that I don't see. That's what denial is.

But, you, you really have pushed through and worked at examining what you do. And you've been so kind in responding to my own posts.

I truly think being able to get through this week is miraculous. Really, I do. Victory is going to produce some sweet fruit soon.

You have been and will be in my prayers!


midlife_swimmer said...

funny I was pondering the phrase "worth it" also... in sync

antgirl said...

Ah, sista, you are not in denial.

Pampering is being good to yourself. Being good to yourself is what makes you stronger. You are worth giving that to yourself. Keep that in mind.

Whatever comes of tomorrow, you can fight back by what you have been learning on this journey. I'll be here you to help you. :) Keeping you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Lorretta, It's almost 2a.m. here. I'm praying for you right now. I'm asking God to just heal whatever it is the MDs saw. I'm asking that when they look in your mouth, no biopsy will be needed. Nothing will be there! In Jesus' Name!


Anne said...

Keeping you in my prayers during this difficult time.

Patsy said...

Thinking of you...

P x

Ms. PJ Geek said...

Loretta, thinking of you today . Hope you are well. hang in there..prayers flying up for ya

CinciMom11 said...

BIG, BIG HUGS! You are so strong. You are one of my weight-loss heroes! Good for you for not viewing this as an excuse. You are amazing, Loretta!

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