Today I woke up at 1:30 pm, feeling instantly frustrated with myself...I stayed up way too late last night, into the wee hours. I heard myself whining..."I can't get my hours straigthened out...I am such a phoney."
Oh brother...did you just hear yourself, Loretta??? "Okay, I WON'T get my hours straightened out." It's a choice. Own it. And I really need to fix this, regardless of my natural night owl tendencies. My whole day goes better and I get things done and caught up when I get up earlier.
So, I will practice what I preach, and challenge those thoughts. Slow my thoughts down...listen attentively... and run these thoughts by the TBGG questionnaire (I talked about that before, here).
T...Is it true? (if true, then deal with it; if not true, then kick it out!)
B...Is it in my best interest? (to be thinking this, to believe this)
G...Is it good for my health? (both physical and mental health)
G...Does it help me reach my goals? (am I holding myself back by my own thinking)
T....is it True? Yes, I allowed my hours to get out of whack, again, but am I a phoney? Hmmmm....the dictionary says phoney is: fraudulent. And fraudulent involves deception. No, I can't accept that...I am not trying to deceive. I messed up...I am still learning...but the intention of my heart is not deceptive.
So, no, it's not true that I am a phoney.
Yes, it is true that I still have things to learn about time management, and I need to be making better choices.
B...is it in my best interests to think this way? That I "can't" and that I'm a phoney? Obviously not. Because I CAN, and I am NOT.
G...is it good for my health? Nope, and having my hours messed up increased my frustration and stress levels, also causing a feeling of failure and embarrassment. I am annoyed at myself to find myself still dealing with this same thing AGAIN.
G...does it help me reach my goals? It does the opposite, wasting time and energy.
For me, it seems so hard to get this sleep schedule thing straightened out, and so easy to get it messed up again!
I have analyzed it in the past, and know that I do it because it is so enjoyable for me to stay up and putter on projects in the wee hours. It is quiet, there are no interruptions, and my natural rhythms seems to go towards those hours.
So: if my goal is to enhance my "play time"...then stay up and have upside down sleep hours, and follow the "immature Loretta" schedule.
But if my goal is to enhance my "new, healthy, creative and productive" me, then I want to follow the new "grown up Loretta" schedule.
Hmmmm....just last night I had been going over some notes from a past episode of the Biggest Loser. One contestant that I really liked, Filippe, said: "You never do anything with all your heart unless your WHY is big enough."
I need my WHY...the reason I get my schedule straigthened out and kept that way...to be big enough. How?
The only way I can think of is to connect my sleep schedule with my dreams...to connect time management with my goals. Sort of like that old saying: hitch your wagon to a star. I need to hitch my sleep schedule to something big enough that I will CHOOSE to follow good time management, looking ahead to the more exciting, creative and healthy future...my big WHY.
I hadn't thought of it that way until just now. I will definitly work on that...I am sort of excited that maybe now, looking at it in this new way, I will make progress on this. Progress...not perfection!
From Dr Phil's book: "I have the power to choose."
My verse for today: "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall."
My quote for today: "Discipline is remembering what you want."--David Campbell
Enjoy the Journey,