I recently spent a little time reading some of my own back posts. It hit me two ways: both ENcouraging and DIScouraging. I get to choose which one to embrace!
See, I thought by now I would surely be at my goal. So when I read some of those older, positive, confident and upbeat posts, sometimes I cringe a little bit. Okay, a lot! I battle thoughts that say:
See? You are all mouth, no action.
See? You thought you had some answers, and really don't. They are only pieces to the puzzle.
See? You are kidding yourself. It's too late, you'll never get there.
See? You are losing ground physically. The clock is ticking, and before you fix one problem, you get a new one.
So, I answer each of those attacks. Some days that's easier than others, to be honest.
Here is one example, from my post about a year ago.
It was about a meltdown I had, and how it was resolved thanks to some kind words from MyGuy. And the quote I used at the end once again hit me hard:
"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure, and separates the victim from reality.." --John W Gardner
Ouch! A whole year has passed, yet I feel no farther down the road than that post!
Photo by Jenny Kaczorowski
On to this one, written around the same time.
I talked about treating myself with respect; attitude; not settling; I am worth it...
The post was hard enough to read, but then blamo! I get smacked with my own quote yet again! This one from Muhammed Ali, who knows a little something about struggle, overcoming, and victory:
"Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them--a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill."
And there it is. In that last sentence. "The will must be stronger than the skill."
And I come full circle back to my source of strength, to DO that will. To make those good choices. To choose to be encouraged, uplifted and keep going, no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.
And here it is, the last quote from that page that reminded me of HOW to do the DOING part:
"I lift up my eyes to the hill-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."
Photo by Melissa Bowersock
Today, I am encouraged.
Today, I embrace gratitude.
Today, I decided not to bash myself for not being at my goal yet.
Today, I choose to embrace hope and determination.
And who knows... by the end of the day, I might even FEEL it!
:-}
Enjoy the journey (it's better than the alternative!)
Loretta
Day 1118
16 comments:
Something I have come to understand is that wisdom takes time and action. We can read an inspiring quote and think, "Wow...YES!" but then not actually "get it" on a cellular level. It takes time and immersion and practice to have the wisdom get instilled in us...to the point where it becomes a part of us. It's normal and natural that it works this way but in our go-go-go society we're shown that we should want it all now.
Oh, you are so so right, Karen. And with that feeling of time running out for me, I think I fall into that wanting it NOW mentality too often. :-}
Great post! I can really identify with how you feel. At least the desire is still in you and that has to count for something right? We know all the cliches, like "Life is not measured by how many times you fall, but by how many times you get back up again" we've heard them time and time again, and there helpful, and they work when we are in place emotionally where we can apply them. But you may never now how God has used your words and past experiences to help others. I really like that last scripture you quoted, Our help comes from the LORD, and so does our inspiration!
Quit bashing yourself. It's counterproductive. It leads to a downward spiral. You want to create an upward one. Just because we get it on paper sometimes, doesn't mean we truly get it when doing.
I appreciate your words, 700, thank you. And that last scripture is very meaningful to me, too. :-)
Counterproductive... you are sooo right, Mary! That's why I wrote this right near the end of the post: "Today, I decided not to bash myself for not being at my goal yet." Maybe I should tattoo on my forehead so I see it whenever I look in the mirror, LOL!
So frustrated FOR you. I can tell you get it and that you want it. Each one of us has to find our own key. We don't get to give someone else ours and have it open their lock.
My key is a bit bent and ragged and others don't always like it so much. But it works for me.
Keep praying. It will come to you. I know it.
Hi friend. You've come a long way but like the Israelites re-building the wall there comes a time when the task seems to be taking too long and discouragement sets in. You mention being in the same place as twelve months ago.
That is not true.
I'm daring to suggest a small task.
Forget food and weight and health for a moment and make a list of everything you see as achievements during those 12 months.
Now consider how well you are living.
Now you can pick yourself up,'gird your loins' and continue with the task in hand. You are doing good because you are keeping your sword and the rest of you arsenal handy.
See, not as bad as you thought.
Feelings follow facts.
Blessings
You are choosing right today Loretta! LOL at tattooing it on our foreheads. Maybe we could start a new fashion trend?
I love that scripture so much. That is just what I did in the pool today too.
MargieAnne hit on something that was circling my mind as I read this post when she said to "gird up your loins"
You know the rest of that statement. We are to gird our loins with TRUTH.
As I read this post, that is what I was wondering. Been wondering it for myself the last few weeks. What is the truth, really? What IS the truth of my situation? Why do I still weigh now what I weighed in January...which was about 40 pounds more than I weighed a year before that--even tho I've tried every day to stay on plan. Never quit. Kept fighting the fight. Knowing what to do..but not doing what I need to do to lose weight.
So, I've been wondering. What is the TRUTH here?
And you know what, Loretta? I don't know the answer. Not for you. Not for me. I can't read what is written upon my belt,it spins in my hands.
Ha. I just deleted a couple of paragraphs here, realizing that I was writing a post and not a comment. It may appear on my own blog...or not. As I recall, it already has...last year...and the year before...
The good news is that the God of all truth is willing to share some of what He knows...just as soon as we are ready and willing to hear it.
About ready,
Deb
Thanks, YellowRose, I appreciate your words. Wouldn't it be nice if we could "borrow" someone else's keys?? Even though we can learn from each other, you are right, in the long run we have to discover our own.
I've been thinking about your suggested "task", MargieAnne. I must admit, I only came up with one thing. But I was a little surprised--and a little encouraged--to realize it was very important to me. So, thanks for that!
Thanks, Debby. Some days it would be sooo easy to wallow in self-pity. But in the long run, I am always glad when I don't!
I love that scripture, too. :-) So hopeful and uplifting.
Truth. Oh, for the wisdom to know what the truth really is, without fooling myself! Thanks, Deb.
Way to go! It's so much easier to go negative sometimes and I'm so proud of you that you CHOOSE to be positive! Keep up the great work!
~Lolly
fantastic post loretta, for one reason....never quit and keep moving. Sometimes we are learning something about ourselves that will affect our future. It isn't about the weight. It's about living a full life.
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