But I don't want to give the impression that I'm trying to hide anything, or mislead. I just really didn't know what to say. Or that what I thought of to say wasn't worth saying. I hadn't changed anything that I was aware of, yet the scale was creeping UPwards. My conclusion is that it was a combination of several things, that all added up.
So... the last few days I've been doing a lot of praying, thinking, praying, reading, praying, and more praying! If you don't believe in prayer, or in a relationship with the living God, that's okay, I respect that. But I do, and I've been met with kindness, graciousness and encouragement.
And I really did need that encouragement! I'm looking for the answer to one question: "What now?"
And for me, it starts with my relationship with my God. Back to basics, if you will. Programs are fine. Books are fine. Plans and lists are fine. Blogs, dreams, goals... all this is fine and has a place. They are great tools.
But for me, they need to come AFTER the relationship. I don't want to get the cart before the horse. Get so busy that I forget that love relationship with my Lord, the one who loves me best.
How do I do that? Hey, I'm not the expert here, that's for sure. All I can say is, it's about focus... priorities... the intention of my heart.
If you loved a person, but forgot to include them in your day, your plans, your thoughts, your TIME... how loved would they feel? Wouldn't they think "Gee, you're getting kind of self-absorbed, dontcha think? Remember me??"
I don't feel guilty, condemned, or anything like that. I feel quite loved, actually. :-) But I'm just working on getting my priorities in line.
And this morning I listened to a podcast that confirmed to me that I'm on the right track. It was Dr Loyd (author of the Healing Code book I've talked about HERE a little) and he was asking the question: are you doing things to GET love, peace and joy, or are you doing things OUT OF love, peace and joy??
He said if you are doing things to GET love, peace and joy, then it can get hard; you can get tired, burned out and feel like you are always chasing it and it's just out of reach. It will just seem so HARD! Um... kind of how I was feeling about this weight loss journey.
But if you are first filled up with that love, peace and joy, then it flows OUT from you to others. That thing you are doing, working towards, or the goal you want to reach will not feel so hard; you will have that energy that comes from being full, not running on empty. And it will seem a lot easier, not an uphill battle. You will be working out of a place of love, peace and joy, not chasing after it.
Well, like I said, I'm no expert on all this. I feel like it's time to dig deeper. I've gotten too comfortable; stalled in my journey. That's weird to say, that I got "comfortable", seeing as how I have such physical pain right now.
Yet, I got comfortable in my mindset, not wanting to make harder changes. Not wanting to shine the light into the corners where I held on to the "familiar" and safe stuff. But to make progress, I need to do that now. To trust that even while uncomfortable, it will be okay. Because I don't walk alone. My God is leading the way into those dark corners, shining the light and showing me what to do next.
It's an inside job, this journey. Always has been. The rest follows. How did I forget that??!
My book quote for today: "Research indicates that the average person thinks approximately fifty thousand thoughts per day. This is either good or bad news because every thought moves you either toward your God-given potential or away from it. No thoughts are neutral." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle
My verse for today: "I will restore them because I have compassion on them."
My quote for today: "They say I'm old-fashioned, and live in the past, but sometimes I think progress progressess too fast!" --Dr Seuss
Enjoy the Journey,