Amazing how better life looks after some good sleep!! Sorry for my whiney post from Saturday.
You all were so supportive and kind. And so many insightful comments! What a treasure... what a resource. Thank you so much.
There was one comment that made me say Bingo! It was Deb, of course.
She ought to start her own online counseling business, for reallies!
Anyway, it took a full nights sleep for me to comprehend her comment. And when I did... Blink! The light came on. Let me explain with a visual.
How many birds do you see in this image?? I found 14, but I suspect there might be more.
The point is... it's hard enough to really SEE stuff, even when we know what to look for. But I didn't even know I what I was looking for when I wrote my previous post!! I really appreciate seeing it from someone else's point of view. Deb pointed out my blindspot... something I was doing but didn't see.
"WE let it get tooo far before we work on it, because that's how we've trained ourself to be. We ignore, look away--and eat. Eating allowed us not to bother about things.
Not to bother... Taking care of ourselves feels like a bother, doesn't it? Eating--now eating--that's not a bother at all. That's instant gratification. And we don't have to bother. ...until the drug wears off.
So hard to break that "not bothering" habit. ... Feels like so much effort to put forth oveer a little thing. And the "too whatever" always starts as a little thing. Then it's a big thing. then... Well, you know what happens then.
Retraining, girlfriend. Making ourselves a priority to us. Deciding we're worth the bother."
The part that I put in bold was what caused me to read this over and over, til it sunk in.
And that's when the epiphany smacked me. I am embarrassed to admit that for the LAST 33 YEARS I've been critical of MyGuy for his habit of detesting any kind of "maintenance".
Whether it was for cars, household repairs, or our relationship... if it was maintenance, forget it. He ALWAYS waits for a crisis to hit, which FORCES him to deal with it. Then it is a BIG deal, instead of handling it when it's still a LITTLE deal.
Umm... that suddenly started sounding mighty familiar to me... and the light came on, and my blinders came off.
I saw, much to my embarrassment, that I DID THE SAME THING. I did it in regards to the way I was handling those things I wrote about... the "TOO" list.
Too little sleep, too much physical pain, and too many negative emotions.
I would ignore them when they were in the "small" beginning stages... not doing the maintenance to fix them, before they turned into a BIG deal, and I was forced to work on them!!!!
Seeing the real problem is half the battle, I think. So now the work of "retraining" myself begins. To deal with these things while they are still small.
Before, I looked but didn't see. Now I see. Thanks, Deb!
(If you enjoy optical illusions, there is a fun site HERE with tons to choose from)
From Dr Phil's book: "You must carve out time for tension-reducing activities."
My verse for today: "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge."
My quote for today: "Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new." --Og Mandino
Enjoy the Journey,