June 6th I'll Do ANYTHING... just not that.

I've written about this before. How I was "willing" to make changes, but I also had boundaries. Things/favorites/foods/routines etc, that were off limits. 

Whenever I got desperate enough to let go of something that was actually a hinderance to my progress... gee, guess what?? I'd make progress. You'd think I would figure out to let go easier and sooner, right?

During my weeks with Sean/Gerri/Kathleen's support group (it has no official name, so I never know what to call it) I realized I needed to once and for all let go of a LIFETIME habit: being a Night Owl.

I've given every justification in the book, and some even now sound legit to me: it's my biological clock; I enjoy doing my art then, it's quiet and peaceful; there are no interruptions; the phone never rings; the Husband is asleep and won't ask for this or that; it doesn't bother me to sleep in the light... etc etc etc.

Problem with all that is this:   It. Kept. Me. Fat.

I would end up tired and/or hungry, and eat too much. Again. After all regular meals were already done. Over and over I would try to come up with a solution to that. A compromise.

Now I accept and embrace this truth: 

There can be NO COMPROMISE 

with anything that is destroying my health.

It's that simple. Some things can be adjusted, changed a little, tweaked. 

Not this, not for me.

This is one of those things in life that truly is all or nothing. 

And I accept that. 

I surrender to that. 

I embrace my new identity as "a Morning Person." 

(okay, that last one was said with an eyeroll and cringe, I'll admit!)

When I started with this support group back in March, I committed to going to bed each night at 11pm. 

This I can control.

I don't control how well I sleep, so I allowed that I can sleep in if needed. But I CHOOSE to go to bed at 11:00. I might tweak that later, but for now, that's my rule.

For all you Early Birds shrugging and thinking "So what's the big deal???"...  this is a Big Deal to a lifelong Night Owl. A huge shift in body rhythms, timing, scheduling, thinking patterns. I'm surprised at all it seems to affect. 

But I am willing.

The result: for these last few months, though it does not feel "natural" yet, is that I have not binge eaten ONCE at night. 

Not. Once. 

If you don't struggle with night time overeating, then you don't realize how significant a change this is. It's a big deal to me. 

And I am extremely grateful for this breakthrough. More than I can get across here...

Today's quotes:

"You cannot rely on your feelings... you can act your way into feeling long before you can feel your way into action. If you wait until you feel like doing something, you will likely never accomplish it." --John C. Maxwell, How Successful People Think

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way." --II Thess 3:16, Bible

Today I am feeling Hopeful.

Retta

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June 2nd Still Squishy Concrete

I've talked so much about learning Consistency here because it was on my "to do" list. I wanted to learn it, apply it, master it.

But I never did.

Oh, I would be consistent "for awhile". Then I would let life interfere. 

Read: EXCUSES

Consistency needs to be welded together with Time for positive results.

That is one of the big things I've been learning from the accountability/support group that I joined recently. I am now officially re-upped for another 8 weeks. And I NEED it!

The things I've been learning don't feel rock solid yet. More like poured concrete that is still setting up, still squishy. But Consistency is a biggee to me.

I know WHAT to do. My plan is simple, but for it to work, I need to be Consistent. Hit and miss doesn't cut it. I'm too old, too broke down, tried this too many times. 

I can't play around, and think half-a$%ed efforts will get me anything other than half-a#@ed results!

I did my "official" monthly weigh-in on June 1st. Lost 9 lbs last month. For the 10 weeks I've been with this support group, that's now a total of 16 pounds down. Not because I didn't know what to do before. But because the Group helped me learn to HONESTLY be consistent. 

I think there are still some spots left for this next 8 week session. They keep it small so you don't get lost in the crowd, but get the support and personal attention as needed.

If you are stuck like I was, or need help in learning consistency - or anything else from the trained Coaches, then check out Sean Anderson's post about it, here.

Like Sean says: Consistency beats intensity!

The weight loss numbers are motivating and made me smile. But what I am HUGELY thankful for are the things I am learning that will KEEP me consistent, and going in the right direction for life.

Quote for the Day: "We must embrace consistency... defend it from your emotions and circumstances at every turn." --Sean Anderson

Enjoy the journey,

Retta

May 27th Me n My Little Yellow Car - back on the road again!

Time to return to my original blogging purpose:

1) To help keep me focused

2) To keep a record of things I'm learning and/or thinking about

If anyone is still reading, I sincerely hope no offense is taken that the comments are disabled. It's not meant to be unfriendly or unappreciative of you. But for now my focus needs to be on the writing part. Thanks for understanding. :-)

Okay. I just completed what feels like the healthiest thing I've done in years: I finished all 10 weeks of the online support group I mentioned here a few weeks ago.

And it was fantastic! 

In a nutshell: I learned a bunch of stuff, and also lost 13 pounds. Yippee!

The Group is co-facilitated by online blogger Sean Anderson, from Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. Also Life Coach Gerri Helms, and soon to be certified Life Coach Kathleen Miles.

I can highly recommend it... The Coaches will be starting another session soon. Watch Sean's blog for details.

Overview:

-The group runs for a specific length of time, in my case it was 10 weeks. 

-We had a weekly tele-conference call with the Coaches and members. We went over our week, found ways to improve our progress, addressed any trouble spots, learned from one another.

-There is a private Facebook page, which was so valuable. We could share anything in private, and get feedback and encouragement from the group and Coaches.

-Most of us posted our daily goals on the private FB page, which lent a strong degree of accountability and helped me start to re-establish good habits. It really got me going again!

-We could call, text, or PM each other any time we wanted/needed to. The members were terrific; all there for the same reason, to get healthy, and to encourage and support one another. They made me feel welcome, even though some had been there before. There were no cliques; they were open and supportive to all.

-The group was not so large as to "get lost" in, and not get to know anyone. Yet enough members so there was always someone to contact if you needed to talk. I think that was wise on the part of the Coaches (about 23 participants that time, I think).

For the next few weeks, I plan to review things  from my time with the group. To refresh my memory. I don't want anything to slowly evaporate. I want to apply the things that are right for ME, and not lose them.

To visualize this leg of my journey, I used the analogy of a little yellow car on a road trip to Health. I had been stuck in a ditch, stalled out, and this group pulled me out and got me going again in the right direction.

Still on the Journey,

Retta

One More Chance

Desperation can be a good thing sometimes.

I was put on my first diet at 10 yrs old. Since then it feels like I've tried 'em all. 

Me at 10 yrs old

Yet I remember one time saying "I'll give up anything, except my Best Foods Mayo!" And I was serious.

I didn't think I should have to sacrifice; that was too Spartan; I refused to go on yet another "diet", because after all, it was a lifestyle change, so why couldn't I keep my mayo? And of course, it wasn't fair...etc etc etc. All that squirrely thinking stuff.

So...I lost, regained, lost, regained, lost, regained...

 Then, at 460 lbs I finally WAS willing enough to give up ANYTHING, even my favorite drug, my mayo (which I slathered on almost everything, of course). It took a long time to find my path. I lost over 150 lbs over the course of a few years.  Then I got stuck, and regained about 50 lbs. I came so close to permanently giving up. I was losing hope.

All that to say: desperation can be a good thing. 

I recently joined Sean Anderson's support/accountability group, yet I wasn't sure it would work one more time for me. I mean, come on, I'm now 65! But I finally was willing to try, one more time. I was again desperate.

My desperation has fueled my willingness to be teachable, to be honest with "strangers", to try again. To out myself when I see Me making excuses. 

More to the point: I'm just plain skeered to go off plan at this point! When I catch myself negotiating (out of habit, I now think, since it feels almost automatic), it shakes me up to think I could blow it that easily. 

I'd like to re-label that fear as a "healthy respect". A respect for the level of importance I need to put on STAYING on track, since I don't know how many do-overs I have left in me.

But for this day, I feel really grateful to have been given One More Chance.

Still on the journey,

Retta

Mentally Tuff Stuff

Read a wonderful article called "8 Things All Mentally Strong People Do", from Tommy Newberry.  The complete article is HERE.

Sometimes I "know" something is true intellectually, yet don't "feel" it is true. My emotions haven't caught up with what I say I believe. Maybe because I don't believe it deep in my heart? I still have doubts? 

When push comes to shove, we always act on the stuff we truly believe, not what we "say" we believe. In other words, our actions will usually "out" us as to what we really believe, deep down inside (I call it believing in my Heart; your terminology may vary).

Here is a great quote from the article:

"See yourself as a child of God. You are God’s special enterprise! Work to recognize that fact emotionally—not just intellectually. If you keep thinking of yourself the way you used to be, that is exactly what you will continue to be." 

--Tommy Newberry

The article is written from a faith-based point of view, namely Christian. Yet even if you have a different belief system, the values are still extremely healthy and useful.

I've been reading different thoughts about so-called mental toughness for years. Probably because I see that it's something I need more of! Hope this helps someone else, too.

Still on the journey,

Retta

Cowgirl Up Time

Just a shortie to say I've joined an online support/accountability group that has a 10 week program, starting next Tuesday.

I came close to just chucking it all, and accepting that "this is it", the way it will just have to be. But I read Sean Anderson's recent post (HERE) , and it really made me stop and think. I had to admit I'd bought into my own excuses, and that I didn't think there was much hope left to try again to get all the way to goal.

But... there IS hope. So I signed up and committed to giving it my honest best.
There are only 3 spots left if anyone feels ready for some help, for that extra boost that support brings. Here is the info; scroll down Sean's latest post for the links to sign up.

In "honor" of my commitment (gulp) I goofed around in my Zazzle shop (gifts, cards and the like) and made this motivational card from my ink and watercolor illustration:

Well, ignore the customized spot where customers put their own words, ha ha!
I can imagine MY name there, with something like: Come on, Retta, you can DO this!

Rah, rah, wave the pom poms and all that. ;-)

Reminding myself, once again, loud and clear: NEVER GIVE UP.

Retta

Nov 8th Crawling Forward

My last post had this quote from Dean Karnazes:

"Run when you can, 

walk if you have to,

 crawl if you must, 

just never give up."

Since that post I've been so sick and so discouraged, that I seriously considered "What the heck?! Why try... just accept that this is the way it is, and get on with the rest of your life."

Well, I'm finally NOT sick, and a couple of days ago I read something by Tommy Newberry that jerked me up short and made me realize that I had a serious case of Stinkin Thinkin.

Tommy Newberry is doing a 40 day "joy challenge", and I've been reading some of his posts on Facebook (link HERE). And yep, if my thoughts these last few months were to be given a grade, I'd most assuredly deserve an F!!

Here are some of the things he wrote that I found so encouraging, and helped me face my need to change my thoughts:

-The words you use today will create the world you'll experience tomorrow.

-Life will always have shortcomings but when you focus on your blessings life will feel abundant.

-In order to live a joy-filled life start thinking about what you want, not what you don't want.

-There is no need to cling to thoughts that haven't produced joyful fruit in your life.

There were many more, but that last one really stopped me in my tracks. 

See, the reason I've been so sick is because the medical specialist I saw back in August did an office procedure on my foot, and he was not careful enough, and cut me. Three days later I realized I had a raging systemic infection! I am just now finally about 98% over it. I've been indulging in anger, resentment, pouting, and fussing over the "unfairness" of it. And where did that take me?? Nowhere except to Miserableville.

So... I'm over it. He was not careful, true. But he didn't do it on purpose. It was a mistake. And by me holding onto resentment is just making me worse.

I'm now trying to remind myself of this verse:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  

I've been thinking a LOT about that first phrase, where it says to BE. Be joyful. If I can BE something, I must have some kind of choice in the matter. It kind of goes along with what Tommy Newberry has been saying in his 40 Day Joy Challenge.

I like what Tommy says here: "Joy is an outward sign of inward faith in the promises of God."

Well, methinks focusing on all these kinds of thoughts will make me a lot happier and peaceful than my grumping continually about "what that doctor did to me." 

"Each moment is a fresh start." --Tommy Newberry

  

Choosing joy,

Loretta

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Loretta

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