Tuesday, April 5, 2016

One More Chance

Desperation can be a good thing sometimes.

I was put on my first diet at 10 yrs old. Since then it feels like I've tried 'em all. 

Me at 10 yrs old

Yet I remember one time saying "I'll give up anything, except my Best Foods Mayo!" And I was serious.

I didn't think I should have to sacrifice; that was too Spartan; I refused to go on yet another "diet", because after all, it was a lifestyle change, so why couldn't I keep my mayo? And of course, it wasn't fair...etc etc etc. All that squirrely thinking stuff.

So...I lost, regained, lost, regained, lost, regained...

 Then, at 460 lbs I finally WAS willing enough to give up ANYTHING, even my favorite drug, my mayo (which I slathered on almost everything, of course). It took a long time to find my path. I lost over 150 lbs over the course of a few years.  Then I got stuck, and regained about 50 lbs. I came so close to permanently giving up. I was losing hope.

All that to say: desperation can be a good thing. 

I recently joined Sean Anderson's support/accountability group, yet I wasn't sure it would work one more time for me. I mean, come on, I'm now 65! But I finally was willing to try, one more time. I was again desperate.

My desperation has fueled my willingness to be teachable, to be honest with "strangers", to try again. To out myself when I see Me making excuses. 

More to the point: I'm just plain skeered to go off plan at this point! When I catch myself negotiating (out of habit, I now think, since it feels almost automatic), it shakes me up to think I could blow it that easily. 

I'd like to re-label that fear as a "healthy respect". A respect for the level of importance I need to put on STAYING on track, since I don't know how many do-overs I have left in me.

But for this day, I feel really grateful to have been given One More Chance.

Still on the journey,


Retta



2 comments:

Peg C. said...

Thanks for sharing with us! I'm 64 and have been gaining and losing 100 lbs for years. I just rejoined WW because I need that weekly accountability at the scale (of course - I avoid the scale at all costs at home!). I hope to formally retire from full time work in a couple of years and I want to be healthy and fit enough to enjoy those years left when it will finally be MY time! Right now, a flight of stairs is a challenge, so the years aren't working in our favor. However, I do believe that, little by little, one goes a long way. Best of luck as you continue your journey! -- Peg

Retta said...

Thank you, Peg, for your comment. Me too, about that same 100 lbs!
I hope we both have wonderful success! It's OUR time.

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