I have a bad habit. And I think maybe it's time to ditch it. :-}
I have a habit of sometimes burying things that shouldn't be buried. Feelings, opinions, emotions...
I'm NOT saying we should immediately blurt everything out, with no filter. I don't believe that for a second.
That's selfish. That's satisfying my own need to "vent" at the expense of someone else.
No, I'm talking about burying what I really think just because someone else has a different point of view. So... I doubt myself, if I am wrong.
Um... sometimes it's not a matter of right or wrong... it's just an opinion!!
Months ago I got a post all ready. Took photos and everything... had it all written. And then, I read something someone ELSE wrote in some comment somewhere, and shelved my post. I thought... oh, they must be right. After all, they've lost all their weight... they are a success story. They MUST be right and I am wrong.
Maybe part of me was afraid of what these people that I had admired would think of me.
Well, dang it all, I'm done with that. I'm done with burying my own opinions. I'm done with burying my feelings ABOUT their judgements of those who still have weight to lose. They are entitled to their opinion, but so am I! The topic??
In a nutshell, they were criticizing women who post about "food" when they still have weight to lose.
Yep, you read that right. If you are still "fat", you have no business posting recipes, ESPECIALLY dessert recipes. Even if the recipes are healthy versions, sugarfree, low carb, whatever your thing is. And DOUBLE especially if you are still struggling to reach your goal.
So... I shelved several posts I had in mind, because I was still "fat" and figured these success-story folks must be right.
Well phooey... I'm so over caring what the successes of this world think about what I post!
Last year I almost perfected a sugarfree chocolate candy bar recipe. And I had a killer sugarfree, glutenfree cookie recipe. And a fantabulous mock low carb potato salad recipe. And a high protein, sugarfree, flourfree breakfast pancake that keeps me full and satisfied for hours and hours. I even had a post about Chatting Chickens.
Yet I caved to the peer pressure, invalidating my own opinion.
Have you ever gone into a restaurant before you'd lost all your weight, and had people stare at your plate, and watch you eat in disapproval?? I have. Even though I was eating very moderately with healthy choices! It's like they judge the very fact that you are even eating AT ALL. You are still "fat", so of course you have no business in a restaurant... you should be at home living off lettuce, air and toothpicks.
That's what this felt like, the judgement of the Success types. Them thinking that if you are still fat you have no business posting about... gasp... food. And heaven forbid if that food is... double gasp... dessert!!!
Okay, rant over.
If you are interested, I'll be sharing some of those shelved posts that are about... gasp... food!
In the grand scheme of things, I realize the topic of posting about food is no biggee. But I was thinking about it this morning... so there you go.
Part of my healing now has to do with honoring my own truth, my own point of view, but doing it with love and kindness. And that includes being kind to ME, by not burying my own feelings.
They don't really go away, ya know. They are still there, leaking out under pressure. So, I want to either heal them, change them, or honor them by acknowledging them when appropriate. And I think that's an okay thing to do. About time, huh? :-}
My book quote for today: "But above all, what mattered was this: You don't have to like it, you just have to do it. Stand up, shake it off, and keep going." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash The Warrior Within
My verse for today: "He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate."
My quote for today: "If you're going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you." --George Bernard Shaw
Enjoy the Journey,