Hello there Journal & Friends,
I've made 3 choices very recently that reflect my NEW way of thinking. There was a little one, a medium one, and a big one.
The thing they all had in common was: I put ME first... the Real Me... my hearts desires. The Me I think God created me to be.
I think I was able to do this, at last, because I finally felt free to trust, to believe, to hope FULLY that I really, truly, NO DOUBTS LEFT, am building my new life.
The Little Choice: I wanted a souvenir from the Fair. We went past the booths, and I was enchanted by the lovely items imported from Peru. I stopped in my tracks when I saw earrings that glowed a passionate red.
Then, the Old Me said "Oh, you'd better get the neutral colored ones... they will match more outfits and be a more practical purchase... money is tight, remember?"
I almost did just that... then I stopped. I asked myself which ones did I REALLY want? Which ones did I "feel"? Which were the Real Me? And I decided that if I only wore them once in my entire life, I wanted the fiery red ones! Here they are (can click on any pics to enlarge):
Yeah, I know, they were probably made in China not Peru, LOL! But from a distance, they are lovely.
The Medium Choice: Some of you might remember that in the Spring Challenge, my reward for sticking out the LONG 13 week challenge was to save up some money each week in my glass bear jar, and buy myself a drawing tablet that connects to the computer.
Well, I did save up JUST enough money.
But I didn't buy the tablet.
Why?? I felt guilty. Money is tight. Guilt, guilt, guilt....
Last night I went online and ordered my Bamboo Fun tablet. I decided that I had earned it.
If I had made a promise to someone ELSE, I would break my neck fulfilling that promise. Am I not worthy of that consideration, too??? I decided that I was. That I was going to NEED this tablet in my future. And I am claiming my prize.
The Big Choice: Yesterday I made a call to a dear long-time friend and turned down his offer of a temporary part-time job that I could do at home. It was not creative work... it was just assembly work, but he needed some help and I needed some money.
I finally made that decision to say No after I admitted to myself how much it was crushing me to set aside my dreams and go back to assembling piece work. I have been having more and more problems with the nerve damage to my left hand. There are so many things I can no longer do with that hand.
Um... I am an artist.
I am a left-handed artist.
By doing that repetitive assembly work, which required me to use scissors for hours a day, I might lose what use I have left! I finally decided I could not take that risk. I would not do that to myself. What ability I have left is going to be used in pursuit of my DREAMS.
I decided to put ME above the budget. My hopes and dreams above a temporary paycheck. We'll be just fine without this. The Real Me is not an assembler of piece work. The Real Me is creative, becoming bold, and has ideas and plans!
The Real Me is emerging!
And now for the Fair pics!
Before the Fair, so fresh and cool.
I was going to get a temporary Henna tattoo on my hand... they were so pretty. But there was a line, and I never got back there later in the hot afternoon.
Funny part: I asked Jim if he minded that I got a Henna tattoo... he hesitated, then said if I wanted to, it was okay with him. Later, I found out he thought it was a REAL permanent tat! LOL! He is so sweet... he said yes to a tat!!!
Ya gotta understand, he is one of those old-fashioned conservative guys that wouldn't be caught dead wearing "girly" colors or jewelry. So I found this endearing.
The Metal Animal Parade.
People are so creative.
I had fun picking out hair clips... they made me think of the Fair: colorful, sparkly, gaudy and twinkly... and look... a Spikey one! LOL!
We cruised around the games along the Midway.
And I got a pic of Jim here (he's a photographer, yet avoids having HIS pic taken... ha ha ha... gotcha ya!:
But he likes to surprise ME...here I am at the glass-worked trinket booth. They had a tiny pig, and if it had had wings, I would have bought it!
More pics tomorow. :-D
From Dr Phil's book: "No matter what happens, I'll stay the course. If I do what is required, I will succeed."
My verse for today: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."
My quote for today: "When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goals; you do not change your decision to get there."
Enjoy the Journey,