Nov 8th Crawling Forward

My last post had this quote from Dean Karnazes:

"Run when you can, 

walk if you have to,

 crawl if you must, 

just never give up."

Since that post I've been so sick and so discouraged, that I seriously considered "What the heck?! Why try... just accept that this is the way it is, and get on with the rest of your life."

Well, I'm finally NOT sick, and a couple of days ago I read something by Tommy Newberry that jerked me up short and made me realize that I had a serious case of Stinkin Thinkin.

Tommy Newberry is doing a 40 day "joy challenge", and I've been reading some of his posts on Facebook (link HERE). And yep, if my thoughts these last few months were to be given a grade, I'd most assuredly deserve an F!!

Here are some of the things he wrote that I found so encouraging, and helped me face my need to change my thoughts:

-The words you use today will create the world you'll experience tomorrow.

-Life will always have shortcomings but when you focus on your blessings life will feel abundant.

-In order to live a joy-filled life start thinking about what you want, not what you don't want.

-There is no need to cling to thoughts that haven't produced joyful fruit in your life.

There were many more, but that last one really stopped me in my tracks. 

See, the reason I've been so sick is because the medical specialist I saw back in August did an office procedure on my foot, and he was not careful enough, and cut me. Three days later I realized I had a raging systemic infection! I am just now finally about 98% over it. I've been indulging in anger, resentment, pouting, and fussing over the "unfairness" of it. And where did that take me?? Nowhere except to Miserableville.

So... I'm over it. He was not careful, true. But he didn't do it on purpose. It was a mistake. And by me holding onto resentment is just making me worse.

I'm now trying to remind myself of this verse:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  

I've been thinking a LOT about that first phrase, where it says to BE. Be joyful. If I can BE something, I must have some kind of choice in the matter. It kind of goes along with what Tommy Newberry has been saying in his 40 Day Joy Challenge.

I like what Tommy says here: "Joy is an outward sign of inward faith in the promises of God."

Well, methinks focusing on all these kinds of thoughts will make me a lot happier and peaceful than my grumping continually about "what that doctor did to me." 

"Each moment is a fresh start." --Tommy Newberry

  

Choosing joy,

Loretta

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Loretta

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Sept 7th Back to the Beginning

When I started this blog, I was studying some principles of change from Dr Phil McGraw. He can be annoying to some, I know. But that doesn't mean the principles aren't true and useful!

Over the years, I've tried all sorts of approaches. The last one, focusing on my art, turns out to NOT be the answer either. As much as I'd like to not "put in my time" here, it looks like I still need to. I'm still pursuing my art, for sure. But... here I am. On THIS blog. Again. Sigh...

I haven't gained ALL the weight back that I lost since the start , but enough that I'm skeered: 349. 

So... I'm starting over, taking a refresher course, and trying to have a teachable heart.

The quotes:

"Nothing will stop you from being anything other than healthy, vibrant, in shape, and fully in charge of yourself and everything you think, do and feel. This will happen because you MAKE IT HAPPEN. It will happen because you have made the DECISION to step up and DO what it takes to have what you want." (Pg 4 of The Ultimate Weight Solution by Dr Phil McGraw; emphasis mine)

"For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13 New Living Translation Bible)

My thoughts:

I've found out the How, now I need to DO it. 

It's not a matter of can't in my case. It's a matter of won't. 

That needs to change. I get so far, then back off. 

Lots of factors involved, but that's not the point.

To get what I want healthwise, I need to CHANGE.

And for me, bottomline, that's a choice.

No excuses.

"Run when you can, walk if you have to , crawl if you must, just never give up."

--Dean Karnazes

Loretta

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Sept 5th Tick, tick, tick, tick...

I'll share with you a favorite quote today (feel free to use this poster for your own use; click to enlarge, then download the large file):

Been a long, hard, dark tunnel.
But there is light at the end... it's gettin' closer.


Never give up, never surrender.

Loretta
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March 28th Breaking the Chains of Fear

Been spending most of my time over at my art blog and creating a new website. 

Thinking.

Learning.

Pondering.

Questioning.

And listening for the answers.

After hearing a song called "No Longer Slaves" a few zillion times, I decided to actually believe the message.

"I'm no longer a slave to fear, 

I am a child of God."

Link for those interested: song on youtube

Fear? Me? naw.... yeah, right.

I've spent years at this health/weight loss blog. Writing, looking for answers. Reading and researching. Trying to learn. I found some things that worked for me, as long as I worked at them consistently.

Yet it never seemed to permanently take root. I had to constantly focus on it. It felt like it sucked all my time and energy. When was it going to be permanent?? 

I knew most the mechanics of it, this "losing weight thing". So... I decided to put it on auto-pilot. And I spent my best energy over at my art. And waited. 

I floundered around awhile. Gained some. Lost some (thankfully, I'm on the losing end of that now). I tried to just do the basics I knew, and focus on the thing I felt I was here to do: to do something, anything, in art. 

To make something, anything, that might be a blessing to someone else. To bring a smile, to enrich or add value to someones life.

Oh, and those fears?? Well, let's see...

Fear of sounding pompous or self-important by wanting to make art that would actually be a blessing to someone.

Fear of putting it out there, to be accepted or rejected.

Fear of being judged in the art world, the way I've been judged in the "weight loss" world.

Fear of trying and failing, of never making art in the real world the way it looks in my imagination.

Fear that it really IS too late.

Fear of going against the mainstream of what is "popular" in art circles nowadays.

And how's this one: fear that some will think this post is a clever marketing trick to get ya'll to go visit my new art site. 

Anyway, I decided it's time to let the fears go, the best I can. Let go of all the fears that kept me for YEARS from making a serious art website where I sell my art. 

To let go of the fear of mentioning it, because I was afraid people would think I was using them... trolling for customers. All that squirrelly thinking that held me back.

And now that I actually DID take action, I am more at peace and happier with myself, and finding it not "quite" so hard to do those healthy basics I mentioned earlier.

I suspect I will need to work on eating healthy more than the average bear for the rest of my life. But...  now that my focus is on something that brings me joy and a reason to get up in the morning, methinks it won't be such a grind. Well, I can hope! 

:-D

I encourage anyone, everyone who is on this quest to get healthy to find YOUR path. Your own answers. Never give up looking. 

And find your passion, the thing that lights you up inside. That gives you a feeling of purpose. For too long I put that aside, thinking I had to have this weight loss thing all squared away before I could really pursue my dreams. WAY too long. As in, years. 

Learn from my mistakes, and live your best life NOW. Live on purpose NOW. :-)

Enjoy the journey (not just the destination),

Retta

But What if I WANT to give up??

Been sick.

Not sleeping well.

Ready to give up.

DID give up... stopped trying... what's the use?

Went to doctor.

Got medicine.

Finally SLEPT well.

Feeling better.

Gee... maybe this giving up thing is not such a good idea.

Ya think?!

Reminder to self (and anyone else who happens to read this):

Good Sleep is our friend! 

Good Sleep is a good thing.

Good Sleep is to be protected, planned for, prioritized, FOUGHT for.

A good night's sleep, done over and over, will change how our brains function!

Like, giving us the energy to try once again. 

To hope once again. 

To believe once again.

I was making up answers in my head to my doctors usual question he always asks: "How are you today?" 

I was all set to answer honestly with: I just feel like giving up.

The day before my appointment I saw a little sketch by a fellow artist, done of her bestie in the kitchen cutting up onions. The smiling lady was wearing a cheerful apron and funny "onion goggles".... and was on oxygen, connected to a tank. The caption read:

No matter how you feel:

Get up

Dress up

Show up

and

Never Give Up

I cried when I read that. 

I wanted to agree. 

I wanted to WANT to agree. 

But I was so exhausted, so wiped out, I just "wished" I could agree.

Now, after a 9 solid hours of sleep, I can smile and agree.

I think sometimes it's not just all "mental", but physical too.

Get yer ZZZZZZZZZ's! :-)

Happy Sleeping,

Loretta