Desperation can be a good thing sometimes.
I was put on my first diet at 10 yrs old. Since then it feels like I've tried 'em all.
Me at 10 yrs old
Yet I remember one time saying "I'll give up anything, except my Best Foods Mayo!" And I was serious.
I didn't think I should have to sacrifice; that was too Spartan; I refused to go on yet another "diet", because after all, it was a lifestyle change, so why couldn't I keep my mayo? And of course, it wasn't fair...etc etc etc. All that squirrely thinking stuff.
So...I lost, regained, lost, regained, lost, regained...
Then, at 460 lbs I finally WAS willing enough to give up ANYTHING, even my favorite drug, my mayo (which I slathered on almost everything, of course). It took a long time to find my path. I lost over 150 lbs over the course of a few years. Then I got stuck, and regained about 50 lbs. I came so close to permanently giving up. I was losing hope.
All that to say: desperation can be a good thing.
I recently joined Sean Anderson's support/accountability group, yet I wasn't sure it would work one more time for me. I mean, come on, I'm now 65! But I finally was willing to try, one more time. I was again desperate.
My desperation has fueled my willingness to be teachable, to be honest with "strangers", to try again. To out myself when I see Me making excuses.
More to the point: I'm just plain skeered to go off plan at this point! When I catch myself negotiating (out of habit, I now think, since it feels almost automatic), it shakes me up to think I could blow it that easily.
I'd like to re-label that fear as a "healthy respect". A respect for the level of importance I need to put on STAYING on track, since I don't know how many do-overs I have left in me.
But for this day, I feel really grateful to have been given One More Chance.
Still on the journey,
Retta
