JULY 23rd Craze Is Back!!

I wanted to pop in today because my friend Mary Pax's Launch Party starts today! 

It's a Launch Party for the latest book in her Backworld's series, 

Stopover At The  Backworlds' Edge

First, the official announcement, then afterwards I'll give you the straight skinny:

The Backworlds Book 2 is Out!

The sequel to The Backworlds is now available. Craze and his friends continue their adventures in Stopover at the Backworlds’ Edge. See what role chocolate plays in the galaxy this time.

The interstellar portal opens, bringing in a ship that should no longer exist. A battleship spoiling for a fight, yet the war with Earth ended two generations ago. The vessel drops off a Water-breather, a type of Backworlder thought to be extinct. She claims one of Craze’s friends is a traitor who summoned the enemy to Pardeep Station. A betrayal worse than his father’s, if Craze lives to worry about it.

Available for all ereaders from:

Amazon / Amazon UK / B&N / Smashwords
iTunes and Kobo will be available shortly.

If you haven’t read The Backworlds yet, it’s available as a free read from many outlets. See HERE for links. [http://mpaxauthor.com/the-backworlds-series/backworlds-the/]

Inspiring the words M. Pax writes, Mary spends her summers as a star guide at Pine Mountain Observatory in stunning Central Oregon where she lives with the husband unit and two loving cats. She writes science fiction mostly and has a slight obsession with Jane Austen. Mary blogs at http://www.mpaxauthor.com/blog/

  

Okay, I promised you the straight skinny. When I review a book, friend or not, I'm honest. And honestly... this was a BLAST to read! 

I thought the first book in the series (The Backworlds) was a fun read... I was delighted to find this one topped it! Once I started, I didn't want to stop. 

It was a fun romp through space and other worlds, with fascinating characters of all "kinds". I'd even venture to call Chocolate a character in THIS story! Danger, betrayal, spies, frizzers, gender-morphing beings, revenge, cruelty, friendship and tenderness... and of course, chocolate. ;-)

The story had so many surprise turns I had to buckle my seat belt. I'm not fond of "predictable" books. Can we say Borrriiinnnggg? But NOT THIS ONE! 

Mary's characters, the pickles they got into, the worlds they were on--and inside of--had me shaking my head at her wild imagination. It had me asking "how does she THINK of these things??!!" And I thoroughly appreciated the ending. And no... no hints.

Yep... loved it. Honestly. Can't wait to read the next one in the series.

And the next time I sit down to have my hot tea and chocolate... I think I'll take a long pause and remember what happened in this story!! :-O

Enjoy the Journey with a good book,

Loretta

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DAY 1065

JULY 16th A Rant & A Blogcation

Shall we talk about The Food Reward Theory of Obesity?

Some of us old enough to remember drive-in movies, clamp-on roller skates and 4 cent postage for letters are cracking up over the people trying to make a name for themselves in the realm of research.

Give me a break! If it tastes good, you'll wanna eat more, and you just might get fat??? 

Really??? 

What genius! Why, let's give 'em an award for their brilliant deductions!!! (insert snarky sound effects here)

Hey, wait a minute!  Nobody gave my Mama an award for her brilliance when she refused to let us kids pig out on dessert after dinner. Or when she said only one cookie, or it'll spoil your dinner. Yep, Mama had this Food Reward Theory of Obesity all figured out. She knew you needed to control the sweets. 

Let's see, it went something like this:

It tastes good. 

Kids will wanna eat more than they should because it's sweet and nummy.

I'm the Mama. I will say No. 

End of story.

Nowadays, they are writing papers and books, giving lectures and holding conferences, and arguing with other researchers over "the cause" of obesity.

Come on... do they think we are suckers? I for one am tired of this stupid arguing! 

Of COURSE if you taste a yummy tasting food, especially a sweet one, it could trigger a response in you that says: Eat more, suckah! And that response could be physical, emotional, or both. 

Duh! Since when is this news??

Answer: Choose whatever floats yer boat.

Eat sweet stuff, or eat fruit, or eat both... it's a choice.

I am sooo over it! 

I've had it. 

I am DONE listening to all the Educated Idiots constantly coming up with the latest and greatest in New Theories as to how we got fat.

I wanna just get on with productive action, and get healthy. Enough with the silly theories already! I admit I over simplified the "theory", but come on, there's more important things in life than quibbling over minutiae and unproven theories.

Okay. Rant over. 

All done.

Happy again.

Now let's see... what's that theory about serotonin and dopamine deficiency fueling our cravings??  Ack! My head's gonna 'slode...

So... I've decided to take a Summer Blogcation. No more theory thinkin... it's starting to feel counterproductive.

I'm going to relax and spend time over at my art blog, HERE.   

I plan to pop in for a couple of pre-planned special announcements, but other than that, my poor little brain needs a break! :-)

Later Gators,

Loretta

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JULY 12th Still Here & Forgiving Myself

I wrote this post a few days ago, hesitated... then thought of discontinuing my blog because I was tired of blogging about weight. Seems like I've been talking about it all my my life. I've actually been posting more lately over at my art blog.  

But, this topic was different, and felt important. And whether I like it or not, I'm not done with this wt loss journey. 

However, this last Tuesday before I could get it posted, I had an emotional meltdown over an event that was costing us thousands, all because of me. Thousands we don't have. 

I was sobbing, angry, feeling so full of grief, regret and self-recrimination. I was feeling so horrible that my "fat" was once again impacting our lives negatively...and I asked my husband to forgive me for allowing this weight, this FAT, to poison our life together. 

It's a long story, and he was so loving and sweet. But the one thing he said that stood out above all else, that quieted my sobs, was that even if he had known what he was getting into all those years ago... he would've married me anyway. I can't begin to tell you what those words meant to my broken heart.

I finally realized that the problem was... 

*I* was not done forgiving myself.

 Here then, was the start 

ONLY THE START 

I see now, of that forgiveness 

that I wrote about a few days ago:

I've been reading a book titled 

The Healing Code, by Dr Alex Loyd.

Fascinating book, really. In a nutshell, it's purpose is to help people get to the root cause of their problems. And it puts forth the idea the root of our problems are issues of the heart. And some of these "wounds" happened a long time ago in our lives. We might think "well that's ancient history". But if it's not been truly healed then it's still there, causing stress on our systems and interfering with our bodies ability to function optimally and to keep us healthy, both mentally and physically (that's MY summary, not theirs).

The program is divided into 12 "categories". I've been going through them, one per day. It's a sort of prayer/meditation type of healing work, combined with energy medicine. Hard to explain without quoting the whole book.  :-)

Anyway, the category for last Friday was "unforgiveness". This includes any unforgiveness towards others, God or oneself. I thought since I had already gone through all the categories, it would be no biggee. 

First, I read the "truth statement" I had written for this category:

"In love, I forgive as God has forgiven me. I am learning to see as God sees. I choose to forgive and Let It Go, knowing God will work it out to the highest good of all involved." 

Next, I asked myself if there was anything about this overeating thing in regards to unforgiveness that still bothered me, and instantly the thought popped up: I wasted a lifetime messing around with this! 

It was so strong that I immediately started to cry. I was being honest with myself, and it opened a floodgate.

Then, I said the suggested prayer, closed my eyes and started the work of healing those memories and wrong beliefs (I won't try to describe that... it wouldn't really make sense unless you'd read the book, and I know it sounds weird enough as it is!). As I saw flashes of myself at different ages, it was as though a loving presence was with me, taking me along, giving me a different way of seeing.

And I remembered part of my Truth statement I had read right before I started: "learning to see as God sees".

I felt amazed and humbled, to think that this was the way He saw me.

Me: I saw failure; tried over and over yet never learned; misled, stumbling along, wasting this gift of life being distracted by this weight thing; affected all areas, nothing was untouched by it, all areas of my life--work, play, relationships, dreams, spiritual life, you name it.

God: He saw me with compassion, understanding, kindness, mercy, great patience. And the most shocking to me of all: approval.

Approval??!!

Me: I tried and failed over and over and over and over...

God: I tried and failed over and over and over and over... YET I WOULD GET UP, DUST OFF AND TRY ONCE AGAIN. He approved of my spirit, of not giving up, of mustering up the courage to risk the pain of another failure. He approves of that kind of heart!

That is stunning to me. I have never thought of it that way before.

It has nothing to do with being "obsessed" with dieting. I legitimately need to get the weight off. I need to find a way, not give up and just accept it.

The very fact that someone is trying is worthy of approval! And if we don't quit, if we are open to learn and grow and change... I believe we WILL get there.

I forgive myself for not getting there sooner. It's been a lifetime journey. I was a kid, just trying to cope with life the way I had been shown. It's all I knew to do  (as a result, I was put on my first diet at age 10). I carried that behavior on into adulthood, a deeply ingrained habit to use food for more than just nutrition. And yes, I was given wrong nutritional advice. And I paid the price for all that.  I'm still discovering pieces to the puzzle... answers.

I forgive myself. My whole life was affected along the way, but it was not done intentionally. I didn't know any other way. I tried everything I could think of throughout the years. I just kept trying...  

I want to see Myself, my life, the Younger Me, the way God sees me: with compassion, understanding and patience. And I am giving myself the nod of Approval for never quitting. You did the best you knew how, Kiddo. Now you know better and can DO better.

I let go of the disgust at all my past failures to lose weight. I let go of the impatience and frustration and harsh judgements, that it took me this long to change, to "get it". In it's place I offer myself approval and love.

I forgive myself.

As you can see from the opening of todays post, this is an ongoing process. I suspect there is still more work for me to do in this area. :-}

My book quote for today: "As relentlessly as you try, you cannot think one thing and experience something else." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me."

My quote for today: "Never give up, for that is the place and time that the tide will turn." --Harriet Beecher Stowe

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 1054

JULY 3rd More Squirrelly Thinking Exposed

I had something else I was going to post today, and decided it just doesn't fit what I want to say.

What I really want to say is: don't make the same mistake I made yesterday. 

See... I bought another book. I know, I know. I keep saying NO MORE BOOKS. But... this one promised to give me the answers I've been looking for... the missing puzzle piece. And it DOES have some great info. But...

I didn't realize I had fallen into that old mental trap of: this is IT. THIS will give me what I need to DO this. This will be THE answer. 

Um... no. It can help, it can offer information, it can provide tweaks to my plan. But I have to stop falling into that old thinking of the "knight in shining armor" idea that would come along to rescue me and give me all the answers.

You'd THINK I would know better. You'd think!  I didn't realize I had fallen into that thinking until my emotional meltdown last night.  I had to ask myself what's going on?? What am I feeling and why??

I was disappointed. I was frustrated. I was mad. I had dared to get my hopes up and believe that maybe, just maybe this book had the answers it claimed, that would change my journey for the better. To get me going again. To get me past this stall.

I get sooo tired of trying to explain to the hard-core-troglodite-last-generation-nutritional-thinkers that it is NOT just calories in/calories out. That old tired "science" has been disproved so many times it is just plain tiresome to have to argue it yet again. There is simply more to it than that. And if you disagree, I respect your right to your opinion. But come back and talk to me when you hit 50. Nuff said.

Back to The Book. My last post I said I was doing some tweaking, making some changes to help me get going again. And this book promised to help with that. But I was wrong to think it had all the answers. The main thing it offered that might've helped me... I can't do because of high blood pressure. Sigh...

The other thing it demanded everyone must do... I am not willing to do. I am not in the mood to go into details, but for me it is just not sustainable, at least not in the authors extreme version. It would be like ME telling all of YOU that you MUST be just like ME, and eat low carb. And what if you were a vegetarian?? And I was insisting that the only way you'd ever be successful was to become a meat eater. Not gonna happen, right??

Last night, during my meltdown, I emailed a friend who I knew would be truthful with me, yet would understand. That kind of acceptance in itself was a big comfort. Oh may we all be blessed with those kinds of friends!!

Anyway, her feedback was a big help. Rarely are most things in life all or nothing, black and white. I need to take a deep breath and see what I CAN do, and let go of the things that I can't. 

Did I wish for that magic bullet that would "fix" everything? Sure. Did I find it? Nope. So... I'll continue on, doing what I can.  I'll try to be honest with myself, and see what I can tweak and where I can make improvements.

I am hopeful about being able to do pool exercises soon. My Sweetie is working on getting my little  therapy pool installed. It's taking more time that we thought... digging a trench for electrical, trying to pin down the electrician for an estimate (no one seems eager for work around a holiday), gathering material to build the pool hut around it to keep in heat, designing and building a ramp... etc etc etc. He's been pecking away at it each morning before work--and before it gets hot. :-)

So, the journey continues. That's all we can do when we stumble and skin our knees, right? Last night I felt like saying "oh screw it all!!"  But... I knew in my heart of hearts I wouldn't act on that. It was just how I felt. But what I will DO is... continue.

My book quote for today:  "...there is no need to be perfect. After all, perfection doesn't really exist apart from God. All you have to do is concentrate on progress." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

My quote for today: "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..." --Dr Seuss

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 1045