Saturday, July 31, 2010

DAY 356 Short & Sweet Saturday


Both challenges I am doing will be finished in a couple of days.

One I loved.

One I detested!

Yet I'm glad I joined them both... I learned so much. 

And yesterday I got all EXCITED because I know what my NEXT challenge will be, starting Sunday, August 1st. It's a way to put FOCUSED ACTION into my Summer Smackdown theme. 

I'll talk about it tomorrow. Enjoy your Caturday!

From Dr Phil's book: "There is rarely a time in your life when all is at peace and balance. That's neither good nor bad; it is simply the ebb and flow ofhow life works. To be alive means to experience emotions, painful or otherwise."

My verse for today: "He is good; his love endures forever."

My quote for today: "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." --Benjamin Franklin

Enjoy the Journey,


Friday, July 30, 2010

DAY 355 More Fair Photos & Honesty

Hi to Journal & Friends,

I almost chucked this next set of Fair pics. 

When I saw them, I felt embarrassed. 

And that is WHY I am posting them. I refuse to be held captive to emotions like shame and embarrassment!

You see, I was having fun taking photos all over the Fair. What I did NOT know was that Jim was taking pictures of ME, from a distance, showing me in my Powerchair. He gave me copies of his photos later that day.

I had to ask myself why I was reluctant to show you these??? Was it my ego, my pride that didn't want to be seen using the Powerchair, instead of able to walk around? Was I afraid I would be pitied, or get the "oh poor you" reaction?? 

I think that is part of it. Also, it reminds me that I still have a long way to go... it makes me feel uncomfortable, and less successful, less... normal. Sigh... lots of mental stuff to work on, still.

So I am robbing those accusing feelings of their power by showing the pics! No hiding! 

And I am thankful that I have my Rascal powerchair, until the day comes when I am thinner and stronger and don't need it any longer.

While I was taking this pic...

Jim was taking this pic...

While I was busy taking this one...

Jim was behind me taking this...

While I was taking this pic...

Jim was sneakily taking this...

And this...

Amazing the things we can learn about ourselves at the Fair, huh?!!

From Dr Phil's book: "Regaining emotional control in your life is one of the most important things you can do."

My verse for today: "The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple."

My quote for today: "Everything alive is in movement. This movement we call growth. The most exciting form of growth is not mere physical growth but the inner growth of one's soul and life." --John O'Donohue

Enjoy the Journey,


Thursday, July 29, 2010

DAY 354 Fair Food!

Hi Journal & Friends,

Hope you don't mind some Food Porn today, ha ha ha! If it bothers you,  quick, run away now!!

More than one person made a comment about staying on my eating plan at the Fair. Let me just say, I am far from perfect. But I think the reason I did so well that day was because I made the choice BEFORE I went, not after I got there and saw and smelled all the goodies.

What choice?  That I could have anything I wanted. Anything. Just not all of it. But a funny thing happened... I realized I didn't WANT to go off my plan. I WANTED to lose weight, not pig out at the Fair. I didn't really know what would happen to me physically if I made an exception to eat sugar that day... and it wasn't worth it to me to find out (maybe someday).

I'm thankful that Jim didn't go around eating everything, waving it in my face... I'm sure that would have made it harder. But bottomline, it was my choice, regardless of what he did. 

So, I planned ahead. Not knowing what would be available to drink, we took gallons of iced tea.

I also took a little sack with a knife, fork, spoon and bowl, since I planned on eating a sausage dog without the bun.

And I took my camera.

Huh? Camera? What does that have to do with it? Well, I decided that anything that looked fun and yummy but wasn't "worth it" to me to actually eat, would get it's picture taken instead! LOL!

And what was the first thing I discovered on this ultra-hot day?? A Schwan booth, selling sugar-free Fudge bars... YES!! And I made note where he was, cuz I was coming back for another one later... and then forgot! Me... forgetting to eat ice cream... gasp!!

Later when we got hungry for lunch, we wandered around checking it ALL out.

I've never had this, so was curious. But when Jim described it, it didn't sound very appealing!

Here is where we ended up for lunch. They had a huge heavenly scented outdoor BBQ going over at the side of the booth, where they slow cooked all the meat for hours.

We split a BBQ Beef Brisket plate... delish! I ate the coleslaw and one bite of his baked beans, and we split the shredded beef. 

And nope, I didn't forget my sausage dog! We got this right before we left and split it; he with bun, mine sans bun (sorry, it's blurry).

I look so serious here... probably wishing the guy had made that little glass pig with wings!

It was not at all about the Fair food for me... it was about the experience, about living Life. And I'm so happy with my choices that day. It feels great!

From Dr Phil's book: "You make the choices that create your emotional state."

My verse for today: "The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart."

My quote for today: "If you're not pushing yourself, you're standing still." --Jack Sh*t

Enjoy the Journey,


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

DAY 353 Bold Choices & More Fair Pics

Hello there Journal & Friends,

I've made 3 choices very recently that reflect my NEW way of thinking. There was a little one, a medium one, and a big one.

The thing they all had in common was: I put ME first... the Real Me... my hearts desires. The Me I think God created me to be. 

I think I was able to do this, at last, because I finally felt free to trust, to believe, to hope FULLY that I really, truly, NO DOUBTS LEFT, am building my new life.

The Little Choice: I wanted a souvenir from the Fair. We went past the booths, and I was enchanted by the lovely items imported from Peru. I stopped in my tracks when I saw earrings that glowed a passionate red.

Then, the Old Me said "Oh, you'd better get the neutral colored ones... they will match more outfits and be a more practical purchase... money is tight, remember?"

I almost did just that... then I stopped. I asked myself which ones did I REALLY want? Which ones did I "feel"?  Which were the Real Me? And I decided that if I only wore them once in my entire life, I wanted the fiery red ones! Here they are (can click on any pics to enlarge):

 Yeah, I know, they were probably made in China not Peru, LOL! But from a distance, they are lovely.   

The Medium Choice:  Some of you might remember that in the Spring Challenge, my reward for sticking out the LONG 13 week challenge was to save up some money each week in my glass bear jar, and buy myself a drawing tablet that connects to the computer. 

Well, I did save up JUST enough money. 

But I didn't buy the tablet.

Why?? I felt guilty. Money is tight. Guilt, guilt, guilt....

Last night I went online and ordered my Bamboo Fun tablet. I decided that I had earned it. 

If I had made a promise to someone ELSE, I would break my neck fulfilling that promise. Am I not worthy of that consideration, too??? I decided that I was. That I was going to NEED this tablet in my future. And I am claiming my prize.

The Big Choice: Yesterday I made a call to a dear long-time friend and turned down his offer of a temporary part-time job that I could do at home. It was not creative work... it was just assembly work, but he needed some help and I needed some money. 

I finally made that decision to say No after I admitted to myself how much it was crushing me to set aside my dreams and go back to assembling piece work. I have been having more and more problems with the nerve damage to my left hand. There are so many things I can no longer do with that hand. 

Um... I am an artist.

I am a left-handed artist.

By doing that repetitive assembly work, which required me to use scissors for hours a day, I might lose what use I have left! I finally decided I could not take that risk. I would not do that to myself. What ability I have left is going to be used in pursuit of my DREAMS. 

I decided to put ME above the budget. My hopes and dreams above a temporary paycheck. We'll be just fine without this. The Real Me is not an assembler of piece work.  The Real Me is creative, becoming bold, and has ideas and plans!

The Real Me is emerging!

And now for the Fair pics!

 Before the Fair, so fresh and cool.

I was going to get a temporary Henna tattoo on my hand... they were so pretty. But there was a line, and I never got back there later in the hot afternoon. 

Funny part: I asked Jim if he minded that I got a Henna tattoo... he hesitated, then said if I wanted to, it was okay with him. Later, I found out he thought it was a REAL permanent tat! LOL! He is so sweet... he said yes to a tat!!! 

Ya gotta understand, he is one of those old-fashioned conservative guys that wouldn't be caught dead wearing "girly" colors or jewelry. So I found this endearing.

The Metal Animal Parade.

People are so creative.

I had fun picking out hair clips... they made me think of the Fair: colorful, sparkly, gaudy and twinkly... and look... a Spikey one! LOL!

We cruised around the games along the Midway.

And I got a pic of Jim here (he's a photographer, yet avoids having HIS pic taken... ha ha ha... gotcha ya!:


But he likes to surprise I am at the glass-worked trinket booth. They had a tiny pig, and if it had had wings, I would have bought it!

More pics tomorow. :-D

From Dr Phil's book: "No matter what happens, I'll stay the course. If I do what is required, I will succeed."

My verse for today: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

My quote for today: "When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goals; you do not change your decision to get there." 

Enjoy the Journey,


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

DAY 352 Fair Pics!

Hi Journal & Friends!

Uh oh, I took 111 photos at the Fair! Guess I'll choose my favorites, and divide them up. Today I feel like re-living the more amusing ones. And that's what it feels like, getting the pics ready to post: re-living it.

I can still hear the sounds of the Fair, feel the hot sun, the refreshing mist of the water-mister fans that cooled us down. 

The smells of the Fair food, the petting zoo and the moo cow barn.

The noisy children, crying babies, and laughing people. 

The colors and wild designs of the games Midway, with the banter of the barkers trying to draw us into a game. 

Oh, the colors! It was a feast for my eyes. Was it cheap and tacky if you looked close? Absolutely. And I loved every minute of it.


Oh, how much I've missed out on... how much being "morbidly obese" has robbed from me for too long. It might be no big deal to most people to go to a Fair, but it was huge for me!

But I'm not looking backward today. I'm excitedly looking FORWARD to more life! And look out next year... I want to drag along everyone willing to join me! LOL! And I'll bet I'll be able to go on some of the rides, too... nope, forget the Zipper! (can click pics to enlarge)

Yesterday I showed my "before the fair" pic with my pink umbrella. Well, right after that, Jim put his hat on my head to see if that would be better than carrying around the umbrella... and said to take off my sunglasses. Yikes! It was so bright I could hardly see!

This was an old-fashioned country Fair, with 4H exhibits, arts and crafts, carnival rides and a games midway, and homemade food competitions and ribbon awards. 

It was so much fun! Brought back so many memories... and I cracked up at this homespun "planter" made from a pair of athletic shoes. On the back side was an old split-open football made into planter. Yep, some of us'ns is cuntree, here in Orygun.

And then there was the Ant Parade! We grow ants BIG here in Oregon. A little known fact is that there is a lot of volcanic ash around here that blew down from the Mount St Helens eruption. It has affected generations of ants, and they have unusually hard shells and larger than average body size. Really. It's true. Honest. Here are the pics to prove it.

And then there was the Moo Cow Parade! Actually, the 4H girls were leading their moo cows to another barn... the one that you can NOT enter unless you are a moo cow. It just struck me funny (maybe too much sun?!).

This next one had me choking trying not to laugh out loud. I was trying to remain "invisible", so I could get a good picture. Do you see what tickled my funny bone??

The ride looked Spikey... and the little boy in the front left staring at the Spikey ride had a Spikey mohawk "do".  I was cracking up!! I would never have shown his cute little face online, so fortunately for me he was intent on the ride, with his back to me. Too funny!

Did I mention we also grow Dinosaurs here? Metallicasaurus Rex.

Vevie is rarely alone all day... one of us is usually here. So when I got home yesterday afternoon, she ran up, sat down right in front of me, and gave me a very serious, accusing look... just staring at me for the longest time. 

I  apologized for leaving her all day. 
She forgave me. 
We're good now.

From Dr Phil's book: "Describe yourself in a manner that reflects a winning identity."

My verse for today: "I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me."

My quote for today: "The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created. First in the mind, and then in the will, next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating." --John Schaar

Enjoy the Journey,


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